What to do when your patient adores you?

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I am in my first semester of nursing school and I have my clinicals on the Med Surg floor of a hospital. So far I have had 3 different patients and they have all absolutely loved me; I do not say this in a cocky way. I am just super nice to them, I'm attentive, I actually listen to what they say, etc.

Side note: For clinicals in my school, we are assigned a new patient each week and take care of them for 2 days in a row for about 6 hours.

The point I'm trying to get to is I get into certain situations and I'm not sure about the correct way to respond and what is appropriate/inappropriate and what should I do in these situations. Here are some examples:

My first patient was an elderly women in her 60's that had to get a surgery. Her and her husband both loved me and wanted to have my name and phone number on my last day taking care of the women in case anyone asked about me or if I ever needed them as a reference because they would love to do that for me and only had great things to say about me. So I gave them my name and phone number because I did not want to be rude and say no; I did not really know what to do.

My second patient also loved me, but didn't ask for any of my information.

My third patient was in for respiratory issues in his mid 30's due to obesity. By the end of my second day with him, he was was somewhat joking/serious and asked if there was any way he could extend my time taking care of him because I had been so great. I told him I couldn't due to the way my school works. He understood and then invited me to his wedding in a few months and gave me his cell phone number and his fiances cell phone number and I took it because I didn't want to be rude by not taking it.

So what do you do when your patients loved having you and ask for personal information? Do you just give it or do you politely say no? Or what about if it's turned around where they invite you to something and give your their phone number and you don't plan on going?

I really would like to know what to do because I don't want to be doing anything that's inappropriate or be rude or anything like that. What would you do? Input would be greatly appreciated!

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Specializes in Home Care.

I have to tell you first that someone in their 60's is certainly not elderly, my mother would truly be offended if you called her "elderly". :cautious:

As for your question...no, do not ever give out personal informatio n and don't accept invites or take your patient's personal information. Keep your boundaries porfessional.

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Elderly is generally defined by many definitions; some will say 60 is the magic number, while others will say 65, and others will say 80. Everyone has their own definitions of what they consider it to be. It is also not based solely off of a specific older age, but also state of the specific person, such as if they can take care of themselves, their mental health, etc. So yes, I will say for my patient who was 65 and in her specific condition, she was elderly. I am sorry if I offended you.

But I do appreciate your input, so thank you for your response.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Never give out personal information to a patient.Never. Just let them know politely it is against policy.

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Here is what I say if I get asked for contact information or invited somewhere: " I'm sorry but the hospital and my school has a policy that says once I have someone as a patient I am not allowed to socialize with them outside of the hospital. But thanks for thinking of me"

You can also use variations like I'm not allowed to give out my number / see patients outside of the hospital or whatever they are asking. Just say it in a matter of fact way and dont dwell on it. it gets easier to say over time. In the instance where they were saying you can use them as a reference I would tell them if they wanted to give feedback about me they can either write a letter to my school or I could go get my clinical instructor for them to talk to.

I have had instances where pts with mental health issues asked me if I could be their counselor because they feel comfortable talking to me. I told them I was not allowed to talk with them outside of the hospital but I will get them a referral for counseling. Just make sure to follow through on all offers like that to the pt.

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Simply say "I'm sorry, we are not allowed to give out personal information but thank you for your kind words."

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I appreciate everyone's feedback. It gave me some ideas to bypass sticky situations.

I think I will tell them something, as mentioned above, in a matter of fact tone of voice, something like "I'm sorry, it is against our school policy to give out any personal information or engage in outside hospital activities with our patients. But I appreciate *insert whatever they are saying*". It sounds professional, yet sincere.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

It's not like you are just giving them a line.It is against policy for students or nurses to associate with patients outside of work.

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Specializes in Oncology, Palliative Care.

Its so good to hear a future nurse concerned about professional boundaries! One thing I'd caution you about is talking too much about yourself with patients... Not saying you are, but your time should be spent talking about the patient, not the nurse. It's important to build rapport & have your pt trust you, but it's incredibly easy to cross the boundary and let your pt become too emotionally attached (or you become too attached to your pt). Also, your experience will drastically change once you're out of school... There won't be nearly as much time to visit, & less of a chance your pt becomes too emotionally attached. Good luck!! :)

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Oh yes. Patients always love those nice students that have so much time to chat. It is a lot different after school.I agree with helloberry, talking about yourself and your personal life is not a good idea.

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Be prepared for these same patients not loving you quite so much once you actually hit the floor as a licensed nurse. With a full pt assignment and the responsibilities that follow, things will be different. You will have to be the "bad guy" mean old nurse more often than you may think now.....

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab, CNA, HHA, Nurse Mentor.

Being nice is one thing, but exchanging numbers is borderline personal. Something to which as a student you shouldn't do. Although, your previous experience was innocent, not all stories end up that great. I knew a nurse in NC, that was very nice and friendly to people, to the point she ended up getting harassed and stalked. Be careful. Usually, I thank the patient for the kind words and tell them that unfortunately we are not allowed to disclose information like that and it's against policy. Good luck out there and stay safe.

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