I am in my first semester of nursing school and I have my clinicals on the Med Surg floor of a hospital. So far I have had 3 different patients and they have all absolutely loved me; I do not say this in a cocky way. I am just super nice to them, I'm attentive, I actually listen to what they say, etc.
Side note: For clinicals in my school, we are assigned a new patient each week and take care of them for 2 days in a row for about 6 hours.
The point I'm trying to get to is I get into certain situations and I'm not sure about the correct way to respond and what is appropriate/inappropriate and what should I do in these situations. Here are some examples:
My first patient was an elderly women in her 60's that had to get a surgery. Her and her husband both loved me and wanted to have my name and phone number on my last day taking care of the women in case anyone asked about me or if I ever needed them as a reference because they would love to do that for me and only had great things to say about me. So I gave them my name and phone number because I did not want to be rude and say no; I did not really know what to do.
My second patient also loved me, but didn't ask for any of my information.
My third patient was in for respiratory issues in his mid 30's due to obesity. By the end of my second day with him, he was was somewhat joking/serious and asked if there was any way he could extend my time taking care of him because I had been so great. I told him I couldn't due to the way my school works. He understood and then invited me to his wedding in a few months and gave me his cell phone number and his fiances cell phone number and I took it because I didn't want to be rude by not taking it.
So what do you do when your patients loved having you and ask for personal information? Do you just give it or do you politely say no? Or what about if it's turned around where they invite you to something and give your their phone number and you don't plan on going?
I really would like to know what to do because I don't want to be doing anything that's inappropriate or be rude or anything like that. What would you do? Input would be greatly appreciated!
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Elderly is generally defined by many definitions; some will say 60 is the magic number, while others will say 65, and others will say 80. Everyone has their own definitions of what they consider it to be. It is also not based solely off of a specific older age, but also state of the specific person, such as if they can take care of themselves, their mental health, etc. So yes, I will say for my patient who was 65 and in her specific condition, she was elderly. I am sorry if I offended you.
But I do appreciate your input, so thank you for your response.
It OK ........but we prefer "Mature"...... I am not there yet but when I do......:)
It is NOT a good idea to give your personal information to ANYONE. It is a big bad world out there and you cannot put yourself in the position of being an easy target. You never truly KNOW the motive....they may say they are your BIGGEST FAN and end up being just like Annie Wilkes in Misery
Be gracious........Let them know you are grateful for their offer/thoughts. When I am offered monetary gifts I ask them to donate to a local shelter/food pantry/animal rescue in my name....for every little bit helps when given to charity.
I do not accept invites either but I have always made it a personal policy but you can always blame it on the hospital/school as a confidentiality/conflict of interest. You can suggest they write a letter to your Dean and to your employer and mention you by name so that it gets in your file.
But it is not a good idea to give them your personal information.
I agree with previous responses of NEVER giving out deeply personal information to patient/ family of patients ever.( phone/ address)
You should feel honored and pleased when pts praise you so highly. You are a bright light for them during a time in their lives that isnt so pleasant. I understand how you feel. The truth of the matter is that once that pt leaves your facility and your care, the bond is broken. Repeating the company policy is very helpful in these cases. Say it firmly but with compassion. I am sure that 99% of those pts are good intentions. If they want to send a note to the DON or admin. of our facility praising your work, you can say info they are privey to " I am Sally, RN Unit 5" and that will cover that issue. You have to maintain those professional boundaries.
On the other hand....
I personally have little problem discussing some small personal information with my pts. I always filter who I discuss things with tho. You willl lear this skill and most of it is instict. Nothing like sitting with an eldery grandmom and discussing grandchildren and all. If she asks if I have children I tell her about mine. Its is 2am and poor grandma is alone and scared and you sitting there in the night holding her hand is a special gift.
Most of the conversation should be about the patient tho and not about you.
Sounds like you have the gift and I wish you all the best in your nursing career!
I haven't read the other responses yet, but in my opinion you are SERIOUSLY crossing a line by giving patients that you've spent 12 hours of time with your phone number!! I honestly can't imagine your school would be pleased to know of what you're doing.
I'm glad you think everyone you care for so far "love you", keep that in mind when the winds change and "love" is NOT the emotion directed at you. (You sound very young with a lot of life experiences to earn yet....)
I am in my first semester of nursing school and I have my clinicals on the Med Surg floor of a hospital. So far I have had 3 different patients and they have all absolutely loved me; I do not say this in a cocky way. I am just super nice to them, I'm attentive, I actually listen to what they say, etc.
Side note: For clinicals in my school, we are assigned a new patient each week and take care of them for 2 days in a row for about 6 hours.
The point I'm trying to get to is I get into certain situations and I'm not sure about the correct way to respond and what is appropriate/inappropriate and what should I do in these situations. Here are some examples:
My first patient was an elderly women in her 60's that had to get a surgery. Her and her husband both loved me and wanted to have my name and phone number on my last day taking care of the women in case anyone asked about me or if I ever needed them as a reference because they would love to do that for me and only had great things to say about me. So I gave them my name and phone number because I did not want to be rude and say no; I did not really know what to do.
My second patient also loved me, but didn't ask for any of my information.
My third patient was in for respiratory issues in his mid 30's due to obesity. By the end of my second day with him, he was was somewhat joking/serious and asked if there was any way he could extend my time taking care of him because I had been so great. I told him I couldn't due to the way my school works. He understood and then invited me to his wedding in a few months and gave me his cell phone number and his fiances cell phone number and I took it because I didn't want to be rude by not taking it.
So what do you do when your patients loved having you and ask for personal information? Do you just give it or do you politely say no? Or what about if it's turned around where they invite you to something and give your their phone number and you don't plan on going?
I really would like to know what to do because I don't want to be doing anything that's inappropriate or be rude or anything like that. What would you do? Input would be greatly appreciated!
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
O, to be the young,hot and popular nurse! I'm a jealous old crone.One with 22 or more residents to care for and on any given day at least one thinks I'm as mean as a snake.
But seriously-when someone offers a reference please thank them and encourage them to write a note to the school.
I will also caution you to be very careful about posting too many details on any public forum (here or on your blog) You can easily violate your patient's privacy.We have seen horror stories here on allnurses .
Wow - I'm surprised by some of these judgmental posts, people assuming "young with a lot of life experiences to earn yet....". This is insane.... and to say "can't imagine your school would be pleased to know of what you're doing" - give me a break!! LOL!!
Back to what you asked and not sit here and judge you like majority of these posts.... I don't think giving out your personal information is a good idea because of the stocking issues or if something comes up in the future where they get upset because you didn't return their call from your personal cell phone... things could get icky so I don't recommend it.
Why would it be wrong to say the school wouldn't be pleased? When I was doing clinical placements that was one of the rules.No giving out personal info to patients.
Well, if you read her blog, I think you too would get the impression that she's young. Also, she has the name of her school listed in said blog, why don't you contact them and see what they think about what she's doing?
Wow - I'm surprised by some of these judgmental posts, people assuming "young with a lot of life experiences to earn yet....". This is insane.... and to say "can't imagine your school would be pleased to know of what you're doing" - give me a break!! LOL!!
Back to what you asked and not sit here and judge you like majority of these posts.... I don't think giving out your personal information is a good idea because of the stocking issues or if something comes up in the future where they get upset because you didn't return their call from your personal cell phone... things could get icky so I don't recommend it.
Wow - I'm surprised by some of these judgmental posts, people assuming "young with a lot of life experiences to earn yet....". This is insane.... and to say "can't imagine your school would be pleased to know of what you're doing" - give me a break!! LOL!!
Back to what you asked and not sit here and judge you like majority of these posts.... I don't think giving out your personal information is a good idea because of the stocking issues or if something comes up in the future where they get upset because you didn't return their call from your personal cell phone... things could get icky so I don't recommend it.
Keep up the great work!
I don't see anything wrong with experienced nurses saying "I can't imagine your school would be pleased if they knew you were giving your phone number to patients." The school would NOT be pleased. It's a violation of professional boundaries and could get the nurse/nursing student in trouble in more ways than one. What if something happens and the patient's spouse says "Oh, your wound opened but I have that nurse's phone number, why don't we just call her?" And then they put off going to the ER because they're waiting for a return phone call. In the mean while, the patient has a huge infection brewing or something. Stranger things have happened. I'm a home health nurse so my patients have my (work) cell phone number. I always instruct them that if something is wrong they need to call the doctor or the on-call nurse... not my cell phone which may be turned off.
If my school caught a student giving his/her personal phone number to a patient, that student would have been dismissed from clinical that day and sent straight to the Dean. OP, were professional boundaries not discussed prior to starting clinical? NEVER give your personal information to a patient. For that matter, do NOT friend patients on facebook or anything either.
Honestly, I do feel these posts are being very judgemental. To answer your questions, NO, it was never discussed with my clinical instructor or any other faculty member. So I did not know protocol or what to do when put in the situation. I am in my first semester of nursing school as stated above and have never been in these situations before.
You all seriously make it sound like I'm giving my phone number left and right saying something like, "Hey we should hang out sometime!" or actually trying to keep in touch with my patients outside of the hospital. I was never comfortable giving my phone number out as I never had the intention of meeting anyone outside of the hospital or even talking to them outside of the hospital as nice as they were. I was caught off guard and I did not know what to do in the situation, so I just gave my number ONCE to the older couple. I am aware it was wrong now, but what can you do. But let me clarify that again, I have given my number only ONCE ONCE ONCE.
The second time, the man and his fiance gave me THEIR phone number to come to their wedding. Again, I did not know what to do in the situation and I did not want to insult them and just be like no and not take it when they had it out and waiting for me to take it. If I could, I would go back and tell them what I plan on saying to patients from now on, but I can't. I never had any intention of actually going to the wedding or even ever calling.
And also, please to do not bring my age into this. This has nothing to do with me being young at all and I find that insulting. I am not "young and naive" or miss "young hott nurse". I am in nursing SCHOOL for a reason, as I am still learning and age has nothing to do with it. Do not paint me as some ignorant person because you say I am young and need life experience.
I was put in some awkward situations and I came here to find out what to do in the future to avoid/deal with these situations because I want to LEARN what to correctly do. I am sorry that I did not know the proper thing to do when it is the FIRST time I have been put in the situation and it was never discussed.
Edit* I just wanted to add that I only feel some posts were judgemental and not all of them; some were informative and very helpful which I appreciate.
Could be enough to get you axed from your program.
If you were genuinely seeking guidance, you should have asked your clinical instructor. That's what they are there for - to help you LEARN what to correctly do.
I applaud the OP for seeking advice!! I have to agree and disagree with the last poster... There are tons of little things I wanted to get advice about but didn't ask my instructors. Isn't that kind of what this board is designed for? Advice? I think the biggest problem most of us have with the OP's question is that we all kind of know thinking your patients "adore" you is a silly, immature assumption... Especially when we're talking about 3 patients for 2 days. And its even more difficult to be sympathetic to the OP when she goes on about how she isn't "young and naive" (FYI, a statement like that practically screams "IM YOUNG & NAIVE!!"... You'll understand that better in a few years) but let's be realistic, we've all been in the OP's position. We've all been silly, immature, first semester nursing students. That's all part of it.
At the same time, making a bad decision ONCE can get you kicked out of school, can get you fired, can make you lose your license, can kill your patient... no matter how much they adore you. It's really a benchmark of maturity when you are able & willing to take responsibility for your choices & say "I made a mistake, thanks for your advice, it won't happen again." More often than not, attempting to defend yourself will only eat away your credibility.
Please don't take any of the posters' advice as inappropriate criticism or insults. You'll spend your entire nursing career surrounded by people who want to tell you what they think, especially when you ask for their opinion like you did with this post.
Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN
20,908 Posts
It OK ........but we prefer "Mature".....
. I am not there yet but when I do......:)
It is NOT a good idea to give your personal information to ANYONE. It is a big bad world out there and you cannot put yourself in the position of being an easy target. You never truly KNOW the motive....they may say they are your BIGGEST FAN and end up being just like Annie Wilkes in Misery
Be gracious........Let them know you are grateful for their offer/thoughts. When I am offered monetary gifts I ask them to donate to a local shelter/food pantry/animal rescue in my name....for every little bit helps when given to charity.
I do not accept invites either but I have always made it a personal policy but you can always blame it on the hospital/school as a confidentiality/conflict of interest. You can suggest they write a letter to your Dean and to your employer and mention you by name so that it gets in your file.
But it is not a good idea to give them your personal information.
Good Luck in School!!!!