What to do when your patient adores you?

[dsf43]

I am in my first semester of nursing school and I have my clinicals on the Med Surg floor of a hospital. So far I have had 3 different patients and they have all absolutely loved me; I do not say this in a cocky way. I am just super nice to them, I'm attentive, I actually listen to what they say, etc.

Side note: For clinicals in my school, we are assigned a new patient each week and take care of them for 2 days in a row for about 6 hours.

The point I'm trying to get to is I get into certain situations and I'm not sure about the correct way to respond and what is appropriate/inappropriate and what should I do in these situations. Here are some examples:

My first patient was an elderly women in her 60's that had to get a surgery. Her and her husband both loved me and wanted to have my name and phone number on my last day taking care of the women in case anyone asked about me or if I ever needed them as a reference because they would love to do that for me and only had great things to say about me. So I gave them my name and phone number because I did not want to be rude and say no; I did not really know what to do.

My second patient also loved me, but didn't ask for any of my information.

My third patient was in for respiratory issues in his mid 30's due to obesity. By the end of my second day with him, he was was somewhat joking/serious and asked if there was any way he could extend my time taking care of him because I had been so great. I told him I couldn't due to the way my school works. He understood and then invited me to his wedding in a few months and gave me his cell phone number and his fiances cell phone number and I took it because I didn't want to be rude by not taking it.

So what do you do when your patients loved having you and ask for personal information? Do you just give it or do you politely say no? Or what about if it's turned around where they invite you to something and give your their phone number and you don't plan on going?

I really would like to know what to do because I don't want to be doing anything that's inappropriate or be rude or anything like that. What would you do? Input would be greatly appreciated!

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

One of the moderators has been indisposed..... by Sandy

OP.....siri is right...there is a line of "professionalism" that is discouraged to forbidden that isn't crossed. Of course patients are grateful. Most patients LOVE students as they get the undivided attention that they are looking for and the staff cannot supply. Although we perform very personal tasks for our patients, and we have access to all of their personal information.....we are not on equal ground.

Many nurses who have been working for a while realize the dangers of releasing personal information to your patients. It places your safety in danger and potential confidentiality issues can easily arise. So fraternization with patients and their families is usually a conflict of interest, prohibited by policy, and a safety issue for you.

While some of the responses were harsh.....they were truthful. Some were not helpful.....but on a public forum, unfortunately.....the good comes with the bad. Nurses are harsh critics and usually extreme realists......but never hesitate to call it as they see it.

An occupational hazard.

However.......An supports a flame free atmosphere. As per the TOS.....

We promote the idea of lively debate. This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread.

Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

Our call is to be supportive, not divisive.

This is a student forum and when students come for advice......honesty is always good, but the delivery of the message can be delivered with a little less.......candor.

As I said earlier in the thread.............It is NOT a good idea to give your personal information to ANYONE. It is a big bad world out there and you cannot put yourself in the position of being an easy target. You never truly KNOW the motive....they may say they are your BIGGEST FAN and end up being just like Annie Wilkes in the movie "Misery".

Be gracious........Let them know you are grateful for their offer/thoughts. When I am offered monetary gifts I ask them to donate to a local shelter/food pantry/animal rescue in my name....for every little bit helps when given to charity.

I do not accept invites either but I have always made it a personal policy but you can always blame it on the hospital/school as a confidentiality/conflict of interest. You can suggest they write a letter to your Dean and to your employer and mention you by name so that it gets in your file.

But it is not a good idea to give them your personal information. You will get better at your evasive responses as you gain experience and confidence.

Good Luck in School!!!!

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I always smiled and said, "Thanks for the kind words, it was my pleasure. Write a nice note to my boss," with a little chuckle in my voice as if I were making a joke. About 3/4 of the time they said, "Yes, I want to do that!" and if I said, "Really?" and they did, then I gave them the information.

In another context I had a colleague who used to carry stamped, addressed postcards to the boss to give to all the clients when she discharged them. I thought that was a little over the top, though.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Not liked. "Loved" and "Adored"!!

LOL well, she really WOULD be an idiot if she took our advice as gospel... I see your point, & I completely agree that she should know her school's policies, but come on, would you take every little thing to your instructor? "Hey professor, all 3 of my patients really liked me!! What on earth do I do?!" LOL negative.

At this point, after giving/receiving info in 2 separate situations, she probably would be reprimanded for her actions if her instructors were made aware... & rightfully so, in my (unsolicited :)) opinion because I'm not sure she really sees that she made mistakes... The worst being that she took confidential pt information, not that she gave her info out to a potential Stalker Granny.

[PediLove2147, BSN, RN]

Who invites someone they met 12 hours ago to their wedding?! I wonder if the fiance was on board with this. Very weird.

OP, I once gave my name and number to a patient when I was a student. Their daughter worked at the local children's hospital and said they would pass my name along. I don't necessarily regret my decision, although it was not a good one, since nothing came of it but I haven't done it since. Boundaries are important. I doubt you will get kicked out of school for this one offence but use it as a teachable moment. You need to learn to say no, if you don't now you will some day get yourself into a situation that could be bad for you.