What cracked me up today

schooldistrictnurse · May 6, 2014

The time I told a young student "I'm a nurse and a mom, too" and he said "you look more like a grandma"

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · May 6, 2014

Not a school nurse, but a peds patient (who was having a massive transfusion reaction) said to me, "I'm not trying to be rude, but how long will it be until you're not in my room any more?"

fetch, BSN, RN · May 6, 2014

It's only Tuesday and yet this week has had a few funny ones.

"I have this weird rash on my arms!" Upper arms only. I look - no redness, just tiny little swellings. Short sleeved t-shirt, no other s/s of anything.

Sweetheart are you cold?

"Yes! And after I got cold I got this rash!"

It's goosebumps, go put on your sweater.

-

"Nurse, my tummy hurts because I ate something bad at lunch."

What did you eat?

"Pizza."

Why is that bad?

"Because I'm allergic to it."

(Check her file, no food allergies, no s/s of anaphylaxis right now, she's acting totally normal.) Who told you that you were allergic?

"I told me I was allergic."

(Called home - no, she's not allergic.)

Graciehope · May 6, 2014

Kindergartner came in crying and holding her thumb says "the poison ivy bug bit me". No signs of poison ivy or bug bite however it looked like she may have pulled a hangnail. I had her wash her hands and was going to apply a band-aide when refused because that was her "sucky thumb".

NutmeggeRN, BSN · May 6, 2014

My water fountain shoots out high and with some force...I usually remember to tell the kids to watch out, but I was busy with something else...the kid just turned away from it and was shaking the water of his face and said...

"Well that explains why all the other water fountains in the building have no pressure...."

He had just gotten water in his face and up his nose:cool:...ah..... the little enjoyments of my day....

amoLucia · May 6, 2014

As the old TV show used to say "kids say the darndest things. (smiling)

Wave Watcher · May 7, 2014

I work at a magnet school and the kids can out smart me sometimes. I had two kindergartners in my clinic. I asked the first one who I should call first to come pick her up. She told me all about how mom/dad are divorced and what days she goes with mom and what days she goes with dad. She also told me why it was that way. The other kindergartner looked at me (he had been sitting there listening so intently) and said, "Well, now that sounds reasonable." lol Help me.

KelRN215, BSN, RN · May 7, 2014

Not working in a school any more but today I went to give one of my patients chemotherapy which involved accessing his port. He is a toddler so naturally freaks out a little with the whole process and when we were done, I said to him "same time, same place next week?" And he thought for a minute, looked at me and said "Ok, sounds like a plan."

abc123RN · May 7, 2014

One of my fifth grade students once told me "don't call grandma today she is at the hospital getting a rod up her butt". I completely lost control and laughed so loud the principal came in my office to see what was going on. Needless to say we didn't call grandma and I did explain the medical name of the procedure.

JustBeachyNurse, LPN · May 7, 2014

My son rarely gets sick. Unless my nephews visit they seem to be a trio of virulent Petri dishes. He came one night to lay next to me as he wasn't feeling well. Not an hour later he had vomited nearly a dozen times though he tried not to. I asked him if he felt better. He looked at me and said.....

"Well that was random".

jlha · May 7, 2014

I had a 6 y/o in the clinic...

Boy: "Guess how old I am"

me: "I don't know, why don't you tell me."

Boy: "I am old enough that I am growing hair on my arms."