What cracked me up today

Specialties School

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you have to admit, students just come out with some doozies!

I just had one of my little cutie 2nd graders come in and go into a diatribe about how his allergies are bothering him. I explained to him that he could help himself feel better by drinking more, washing his hands and avoiding touching his face but that I could not personally do anything about the pollen or blooming plants in the environment. He got a thoughtful look on his face and said "I respect that." I respect that he respects that!

What cracked you up?

Specializes in Pediatrics/Developmental Pediatrics/Research/psych.

A four year old hem oncology patient: I can be a nurse now, but I need to pass the nclex.

She must've overheard the volunteers, students, and nurses complaining.

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Resurrecting this thread from last year because I had a visit from my 5th grade buddy that made me laugh (he comes to the clinic when his class is being too loud in the hallway and he doesn't want to get in trouble). He was poking fun at how I said "seventy-five" and so I gave him the Clueless "whatever" sign.

He said "Wow Nurse Fetch you're really old."

:oldman:

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Specializes in Rehab, Geriatrics & School Nurse.

This is so hilarious it happened today...I work at an HS and the student comes in and say nurse do you have any deodorant? I said "no" she the say "Do you have any powder"? I said "no"...she then say OMG what am i gonna do...She then go and put 2 band aids under her arms...I tried so hard no to laugh...

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Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

I had a high school girl step on the scale in my office the other day and she turned around and looked at me with GIANT eyes. "There is NO WAY I gained 20 pounds since Monday!!", she says. I said, "You are probably right. Next time take you backpack off BEFORE you step on the scale". :facepalm:

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Specializes in Pedi.
This didn't crack me up as much as make :banghead::

Student: I think I may be infertile.

Me: Why?

Student: Because I've been having sex for the past year all the time with my boyfriend and we never use anything.

Me: (after a short pause) Were you trying to get pregnant?

Student: No.

Me: Then you are lucky. Very, very lucky.

This sounds like some of my patients' mothers.

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Specializes in ICU, Adventures in school nursing.

Had the principal come to me and ask me if it was ok for a student to bring a live frog to school to show his class. :banghead: Mind you, she disturbed me on my lunch... actually got one today.... to ask me this. I looked at her with a straight face and said..."And how is this a nursing question???????" Got a good laugh with some coworkers after she left. OMG.

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Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.

Not School Nursing related (le sigh), but while giving out flu shots today a lady walked by and decided to inform us that SHE didn't want one because it will make her sick. As I began my whole little "flu shots do not make you sick" speech, she went on about how we are injecting a virus and regardless it's going to make you sick. A little kid (around 8 yo) standing there with his parent goes, "Ummm Miss that's how shots work. The virus lets us make anti-buddys (AWWW!). We learned that in school. My chickenpox shot didn't give me chicken pox and when my Daddy got a Tennis (Tetorifice!) shot he didn't get tennis." Bonus points to who ever that kid's teacher is.

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This morning I got a fax from a doctor's office with orders to give medication at school. Start date, 11/16, and end date 11/23.

REALLY glad you faxed that over, doc!

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

I don't think I've shared this one yet...

I was was putting a band-aid on a first-grader's finger when, out of the blue, she looks up at me and says, "My mom farts so much she has to take a fart relief pill."

sadly, I just can't look Ms. D in the eye anymore.

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Had a 2nd grader come in with a sore throat, checked her temp (normal), looked at her throat with a light, asked her questions (like, how long has it hurt, etc.) she then said.... "it feels like a toenail is stuck in my throat"...... so I had to ask....... "do you chew on your toenails?" She then looked at me with a sheepish grin & said "yes" I then educated her on the infection risk on that, lol...... 2 days later she came back in concerned "because my boo boo is green & it spreads in the toilet" :rolleyes: I told her maybe it was because she was chewing on her toenails, lol

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Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

A second grader came into my office smelling (quite frankly) a little strongly of Axe body spray. I asked him if he was wearing cologne to impress the girls and he told me quite matter of factly it was a spray under his arms to smell nice. I told him i had some middle school students for him to talk to...

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Specializes in School nursing.
A second grader came into my office smelling (quite frankly) a little strongly of Axe body spray. I asked him if he was wearing cologne to impress the girls and he told me quite matter of factly it was a spray under his arms to smell nice. I told him i had some middle school students for him to talk to...

I don't know if I want my MS kids smelling like Axe body spray. It grosses me out a lot, I'll admit.

But a step in the right direction! :)

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