Venting about classmates with families...

hairtocare · Oct 9, 2008

Take a deep breath....... it's human nature my friend! If everyone would be honest, we've all been there. "No one knows how hard it is" It's the "turd" syndrome.....ya know~~mine was bigger and hurt~worse~than~yours~thing. Everyone has their hurdles, whether it's trying to raise a family and take care of a house and be a wife while a student or whether it's working and having no support system while being a student........what ever it is, we all have our problems. I'll admit that I have thought to myself "I wish I would have done this 10 years ago, before I had all this responsibility of being a wife, mother and before I had all these bills", but that doesn't mean it would have been any easier.

We're all in this together and it's easy to make assumptions or say things when we're all stressed out........we've ALL got it hard, let's face it, Nursing School isn't easy and we're the only ones who have the SLIGHTEST idea what the others are going through.

Sending hugs to ya, I'm right in the mix of the heat with ya, it's hard~but it will be worth it. Chin up! :twocents:

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2008

seems to me that they are probably wishing they could have a do over and would actually love to be in your position. how does that translate to being sickening? can you imagine what hair dressers and bartenders must hear everyday? these people are probably so starved to see and talk to someone outside their family life that they can't wait to unload their stress. nothing wrong with being a good listener. i've learned surprising things from patients that had diarrhea of the mouth.

hairtocare · Oct 9, 2008

seems to me that they are probably wishing they could have a do over and would actually love to be in your position. how does that translate to being sickening? can you imagine what hair dressers and bartenders must hear everyday? these people are probably so starved to see and talk to someone outside their family life that they can't wait to unload their stress. nothing wrong with being a good listener. i've learned surprising things from patients that had diarrhea of the mouth.

funny you mention the hairdresser/bartender thing..(see my screen name), i'm a hairdresser of 15 years and also an ex bartender.........i think that's where i learned to "socialize" with my patients so well.....funny how those patients that i get report on that made that nurse wanna :banghead: really do a turn-a-bout with a "pro" in the people skills department.:wink2:

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2008

It IS harder to go to nursing school when you have kids and have to work, you have to admit that is usually the case.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2008

I'm a single female with no spouse or children and I readily admit I'd be struggling if I had to contend with paying for childcare, dealing with an unsupportive husband, studying with noisy kids in my presence, cooking and cleaning for the household, and dividing my time between a needy family.

Although I have experienced a great deal of struggles, trials, and tribulations as a single person, life as a student would be an uphill battle if I had a family of my own.

Nurse Salt · Oct 9, 2008

funny how those patients that i get report on that made that nurse wanna really do a turn-a-bout with a "pro" in the people skills department.:wink2:

this happens all the time to me! if people would take the time just to listen, most "difficult" patients become surprisingly less difficult!

back to topic: i think when people become parents for the first time they often "forget" how it was before... kind of like the grass is always greener. before kids, their life was theirs and they often only had their own needs to meet. once kids (and a spouse) come along, suddenly other lives are directly influenced by each and every action. you have problems just the same as everyone else, but i think daytonight hit it right when she said "they are probably wishing they could have a do over and would actually love to be in your position." just focus on yourself and your own issues, i understand how difficult depression can be (especially while trying to go to school) but getting bogged down by what everyone else thinks/says will only increase your stress levels... good luck!

polka-dot, RN · Oct 9, 2008

This happens all the time...not just at school, but at work too. Last time I checked having kids was voluntary. I have no patience for self-induced misery or stress...if you signed up for it, then you forfeit the right to complain. And it is also unfair to assume someone who has no children has nothing else going on...that's like saying having children is the only thing an adult can do that has any meaning or value. Everyone's situation is different...I know a woman who has at least 6 children (I lost count after baby #5) and she sails through school...other people (like me) have to study every spare minute.

I don't mean for this to sound harsh...just my opinion and I realize it's not the norm. Good luck to you...sounds like you have overcome a lot to get where you are. Stay strong!

blughst43 · Oct 9, 2008

This happens all the time...not just at school, but at work too. Last time I checked having kids was voluntary. I have no patience for self-induced misery or stress...if you signed up for it, then you forfeit the right to complain. And it is also unfair to assume someone who has no children has nothing else going on...

I so agree with you, polka-dot! When I worked night shift at the ER and the holiday schedule would come around, my director would say, "hey, since you're on winter break...how about working Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years?....it's not like you have kids or anything..." This always drove me nuts....just venting. :uhoh3:

kat von b · Oct 9, 2008

Everyone has there share of problems and obstacles to overcome. Whether you complain about them or not is another thing. I can tell you this though I got married last October and my husband and I are waiting until after I graduate May 2010 to start having kids. Between work and school I can't imagine having kids as well. I give so much credit to the NS that can juggle it all!! :yeah:

RhodyGirl, RN · Oct 9, 2008

Ugh. I completely agree. I am newly married, but have no children. One of my classmates blames EVERYTHING on her child. Bad grades, no money, no time, can't study... blah blah.....all because of "the baby." It's sickening. No one forces anybody to get pregnant (that process takes two and is usually quite voluntary) carry the child, and give birth. That's a choice you made on your own, my friend. Just because I don't have kids and am lucky enough not to have to work....doesn't mean there arent other problems. I have mucho respect for the moms in nursing school who are responsible, hard working, and don't complain about their personal life choices.

MAcc2ADN · Oct 9, 2008

I have 2 little ones, work full-time and am in my first semester. I have to admit, I get pretty irritated hearing some of the other students in my class complain about how "there isn't enough time". I have taken the time to listen to them and chat about life situations and it's usually the one's without children, who live at home still, and don't work (or maybe 12-16 hours a week) who complain the most. The frustrating part is that I later overhear them chatting about all their social plans. IMO, it's your personal life. Whatever you do outside of school is your choice and you shouldn't complain about it in class. It's not necessarily that we have harder situations than others... just different. The complaining is yet another game of one-up-manship played in nursing school. :icon_roll