Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking.

[canoehead]

"I was raped by an octopus."

"I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.)

Discuss.

[turnforthenurse, MSN, NP]

Patient comes in via EMS. CC? They ate Chinese food an hour ago and felt like rice was stuck in their throat. Breathing just fine. The things people call EMS for...

[sissiesmama, ASN, RN]

"I think I'm butt-pregnant" - was concerned after having sex via the out door. Not very intelligence, to say the least.

Oh NO!! This one kills me!! Sounds like they needed the film "where do babies come from" again. I'm still laughing about that one!! :)

Anne, RNC

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

Patient comes in via EMS. CC? They ate Chinese food an hour ago and felt like rice was stuck in their throat. Breathing just fine. The things people call EMS for...

Rice is an interesting thing to think is stuck in your throat. However this reminds me of the patient I had who felt something was stuck in his throat and was constantly spitting his saliva into a bag while awake, no trouble breathing or anything, but when he was asleep somehow he swallowed his drool just fine. I was like, "FOS." But the next morning he had an EGD and by God he had a giant piece of roast beef stuck in his esophagus!!!!

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

he had a giant piece of roast beef stuck in his esophagus!!!!

We have an older gentleman who comes in evrry couple of months with chunk of beef stuck in his throat. Moves air just fine. GI doc does bedside scope (not my favorite procedure), pulls out the obstruction and then after the pt is fully recovered, he gets the "chew your food" lecture from everybody. Hasn't sunk in yet.

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

We have an older gentleman who comes in evrry couple of months with chunk of beef stuck in his throat. Moves air just fine. GI doc does bedside scope (not my favorite procedure), pulls out the obstruction and then after the pt is fully recovered, he gets the "chew your food" lecture from everybody. Hasn't sunk in yet.

Thats the go to is a scope?!

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

For this guy, yeah they go straight to scope.

[IrishErin]

A 25 year old girl came in last night stating that she had a "cyst like" lump on her lower back that she had been dealing with for a year or so, but had just recently been giving her pain that radiated down into her lower extremities.

There was no cyst. It was her SI joint. She argued it so much that we got out an anatomy book to show her.

Lol.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

Well, if she was having pain down her leg, what WAS causing it?

A 25 year old girl came in last night stating that she had a "cyst like" lump on her lower back that she had been dealing with for a year or so, but had just recently been giving her pain that radiated down into her lower extremities.

There was no cyst. It was her SI joint. She argued it so much that we got out an anatomy book to show her.

Lol.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

Well, if she was having pain down her leg, what WAS causing it?

I know what you are thinking...Cauda Equina...aren't you?

[A.Brook]

I have always been amazed by how many people are "bitten by spiders" and never see the arachnid. I always laugh when I see that complaint and go ahead and get the I&D kit...

[morte, LPN, LVN]

heck no! sciatica..now if she had numbness/incontinence/sexual complaints....then maybe.

I know what you are thinking...Cauda Equina...aren't you?

[R!XTER]

I had a young girl come in looking frantic she comes running up the desk and says "excuse me! I'm having an emergency! I think it's an ingrown hair!!"