Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking.

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"I was raped by an octopus."

"I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.)

Discuss.

Specializes in ER, Addictions, Geriatrics.

Yes, or claim they're a nurse, or a doctor, or whatever. I always ask what state and look them up. I've only found one out of 10-20 of them that wasn't lying.

Had one woman patient acting like a real pain in the bum, requesting certain medications, then stated we should listen to her because she just graduated medical school and is a doctor. Our doctor that shift asked her what school she graduated from, and when the patient told her, the doctor mentioned that she had also just graduated from that school and hadn't remembered her...

The woman stopped bothering us after that.

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Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

"Please take Lortabs off my allergies cause I will need them this visit"

Yea right.

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

one sat am about 0700, a healthy looking 20 something guy walks into the triage room. i asked him whats his emergency..he responded that after a night of partying he woke up in a bed with 3 naked girls that he has never seen before. i looked at him and almost asked him why was he in the er and not back in bed?

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Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Psych, Addictions..

I almost* feel like Mr Cheety Pants Dr got a dose of karma.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Psych, Addictions..
I had one recently say to me after some harmless bit of patient education (imagine snarky voice) "yeah, I know that ok? I went to medical school."

-I shall omit the myriad prejudiced reasons that I felt this was unlikely.-

"Do you mean you went to school to be a medical assistant?"

"Yes"

"I see"

This reminds me of the ghetto "you still can work. You can still take care of your kids" Everest commercials. Wow.

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