Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking.

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"I was raped by an octopus."

"I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.)

Discuss.

Good: previous patient brought in a 'thank you for saving my life' basket full of everything nurses love...so much chocolate and lollies and icy poles for summer....

Bad: a patient came in with a splinter asking if it was a level one trauma...the reply 'no that's a level one drama!'

Ugly: 5 car pile up in horrible conditions only one person survived...speed was the major factor as well as rain.

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The bad: the 'pink slipped' pt with no short term memory. Who rings their light the instant you walk away, you answer the light and they ask you the same question with the added 'I can't believe no one answers my light'.. But. The 10 coworkers who continue to come up to you in your other rooms that are also answering the continuous call light and ask you the same exact question.

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The question was 'did my daughter in law leave her number at the desk?' Which was no. And I called the family to update and I asked if they were returning like they promised and they said no.

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Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.
Parent brings in 5yo who is afraid of the dark and wants to sleep with the lights on.

I wish we could call social services on these parents for being too stupid to reproduce

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Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

I wish we could call social services on these parents for being too stupid to reproduce

The best we've come up with is they though the child had an anxiety disorder??

Other than that I can't figure out WHY they would think a child being afraid of the dark is an emergency...

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The best we've come up with is they though the child had an anxiety disorder??

Other than that I can't figure out WHY they would think a child being afraid of the dark is an emergency...

My response to them would have been, "and what 5 yr old isn't?"

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Specializes in OR & ER.

My favorite complaint was after our first Tulsa earthquake. Nothing spectacular but a little shake for 45 seconds. This guy comes in with a complaint of post earthquake anxiety. I look at him and say "you're afraid of earthquakes yet you come to the ground floor of a ten story building just after one?" Sounded like a candidate for therapeutic wait time to me.

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Specializes in OR & ER.
Swallowed 3 jingle bells

Bit on the lip by a duck (turns out it was a DOG bite and the secretary had misheard; EVERYONE was disappointed because it sounded like it would be such an awesome story)

How about bit on lip by parrot!! Had that one not long ago

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My favorite complaint was after our first Tulsa earthquake. Nothing spectacular but a little shake for 45 seconds. This guy comes in with a complaint of post earthquake anxiety. I look at him and say "you're afraid of earthquakes yet you come to the ground floor of a ten story building just after one?" Sounded like a candidate for therapeutic wait time to me.

"Therapeutic wait time". That's great..I don't remember learning that in nursing school . Lol! Great nursing intervention.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
"Therapeutic wait time". That's great..I don't remember learning that in nursing school . Lol!

No, you learn that in the ED. Lol

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Specializes in OR & ER.

"Therapeutic wait time". That's great..I don't remember learning that in nursing school . Lol! Great nursing intervention.

We have some docs who read the triage note and say ***!! Give them a dose of lobby time then I'll see them.

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Specializes in OR & ER.

No, you learn that in the ED. Lol

You also learn how to announce over the intercom for whoever lost their bag of crack in the lobby to come to the desk and claim it. This is hard to do with a straight face.

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