Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

pH7.40, LPN · Dec 23, 2008

Ummmm.......How, exactly, do those things get into your bladder?

Really is that anatomically possible?

omg............dilaudid please.

talaxandra · Dec 25, 2008

Really is that anatomically possible?

We had a patient who catheterised herself with a garden hose (years of practice - dont try this at home) then dropped fish hooks down the tubing into her bladder

rph3664 · Dec 25, 2008

We had a patient who catheterised herself with a garden hose (years of practice - dont try this at home) then dropped fish hooks down the tubing into her bladder

I collect old medical books, and we haven't changed as much as we think we have.

A urology book from the WW II era has a picture of a fishhook that was removed from a man's urethra; he had inserted it curved end first, and it had become lodged in place.

The thing was, this had happened many years before and caused no problems until the mineral buildup blocked his urethra. :imbar

talaxandra · Dec 25, 2008

Oooooooooooooooooouch! The unending weirdness of people never fails to surprise me!

Jessiedog, RN · Dec 27, 2008

That is truly disturbing...

What is even more disturbing, is that we can ALL visualise this without trying too hard! So, who's in the worse state? The one person who did it, or the millions of us who can SEE IN OUR MIND'S EYE how he did it????

ChristineN, BSN, RN · Dec 27, 2008

Immediately following dialysis, don't go out for a cigarette. You might pass out!

britgirl37 · Dec 28, 2008

Female pt and her husband have sex at some point in the night (husband staying in room with wife) then pt gave urine sample in am for UA........did they really think we would n't know?

Mariposa88 · Dec 31, 2008

don't throw up with an ng tube in

BelleKat, BSN, RN · Jan 3, 2009

When you find a blank prescription pad,don't bother to find the correct spelling for the drug you want to steal just sound it out.Write two pounds of Mophin and bring it to the pharmacy inside the hospital that can be remotely locked and is monitored by cc 24 hours a day and the tech (who is trying not to rofl) will give it to the pharmacist who calls the police to come get your sorry ### while you're expectantly but ridiculously wait for them to fill your "order".

talaxandra · Jan 4, 2009

When you find a blank prescription pad,don't bother to find the correct spelling for the drug you want to steal just sound it out.Write two pounds of Mophin

But that's how it sounds, and you'd want to have enough so that sounds like the kinda dose I'd want...

Dinsey · Jan 5, 2009

Most people don't die from falling 10-20 feet. Especially if they don't go head first. We've had a few inmates this year who jumped such a distance, but since they landed on their BUTTS they only ended up with severe hip fractures. Nice way to get drugs, though.

Don't tell me that you once snorted 60mg of Oxycontin. I'll probably tell your physician, neither of us will believe that it only happened once. And hey, since you said none of your opioids were really doing the trick, we'll figure it's probably because you fried all of the opioid receptors in your brain. Since they can't help you anymore, you're not going to get them.

You're not going to find a whole lot of sympathy if you empty the contents of your stomach after eating three big bags of chips and following it with a Dew. Even healthy people shouldn't do things like that.

It's not a good idea to tie a sled/bicycle/skateboard/wheelchair to the back of a car/snowmobile/bike/4-wheeler/dog.

RetiredTooSoon · Jan 5, 2009

Most people don't die from falling 10-20 feet. Especially if they don't go head first. We've had a few inmates this year who jumped such a distance, but since they landed on their BUTTS they only ended up with severe hip fractures. Nice way to get drugs, though.

So true. I had a young woman on psych who had dropped about 25-30 feet and had two broken legs, lacerated liver and permanent incontinence to show for it.