Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 17, 2009

Huh?
Um, people can be penetrated anally by women too. Also please know that the desire for anal stimulation does not equal "gay". Also, not all gay men enjoy that sort of thing.
Oh never mind.

Thank you Natkat. I didn't know.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 17, 2009

Here's one from recent experience:
Don't bring your medically complex and profoundly disabled 19 month old with respiratory distress to the ER and immediately start threatening to call your lawyer when she isn't directly admitted to PICU. When she's been examined by the ER physician and found not to require intubation or anything much more than some Ventolin, don't call the PICU attending on your cell phone and insist he come down and assess her. When he does and says, "She doesn't need PICU," don't insist that he's wrong and that she be admitted there posthaste. And then when you've gotten the DON and the medical director out of bed and finally gotten your own way, don't tell anyone who'll listen that the staff members are all racist, that no one would listen to you that your baby was critically ill when her heart rate is 110, she's breathing in the 20's, is satting 97% on 2 1/2 litres and is sound asleep, that they treated you so horribly that you had to call your lawyer in the middle of the night to get someone to listen to you. DON'T then leave her with the staff in the first half hour to "make a conference call" and not come back for the rest of the day. Do you really think your behaviour is going to get your baby good care, or is it more likely that no one will want to even go into the room because if their name's not on the chart they can't be named in the suit?

:eek:It's shocking to read that a person would be that nasty, but I believe it. I get the impression that she feels she's being punished for giving birth to a child like that and is taking out her anger on everyone else. :cool:

Sounds like she probably wanted somebody to babysit the poor child for a coupld days. I feel sorry for that kid if that's the case.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 17, 2009

the same way a catheter does, i assume. and i thought it would hurt when a foley balloon was ripped out while inflated!
if urethras could talk...
*~jess~*

yes they do, but when you have a super infection caused by a weaker antibiotic than you are used to taking, believe me; i pulled my own 10cc filled catheter out in order to get relief from the pain i was in. it was then that my pcp tested for a super infection. the pulmonologist discharged me on it, and since i had a caregiver at that time, they gave the script to her. so i had no idea i was taking it. had i known, i would have refused it. i had an awful time with that. if i ever need another pulmonologist, i will get someone else.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 17, 2009

don't throw up with an ng tube in

Sometimes you just can't help it. I did that after having a traditional chole in 1983. I wasn't able to control it.

Pediatric Critical Care Columnist · Jan 17, 2009

:eek:It's shocking to read that a person would be that nasty, but I believe it. I get the impression that she feels she's being punished for giving birth to a child like that and is taking out her anger on everyone else. Sounds like she probably wanted somebody to babysit the poor child for a coupld days. I feel sorry for that kid if that's the case.

Actually, that was the dad. And he wasn't looking for a babysitter, he was looking for control. There is an epilogue to that story. Last week the baby had another deterioration. The mom took her to the local hospital and we dispatched a team to go get her. She arrested in the ambulance and after a lengthy resus, she was allowed to die. The team members are all still dazed.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 17, 2009

Actually, that was the dad. And he wasn't looking for a babysitter, he was looking for control. There is an epilogue to that story. Last week the baby had another deterioration. The mom took her to the local hospital and we dispatched a team to go get her. She arrested in the ambulance and after a lengthy resus, she was allowed to die. The team members are all still dazed.

How tragic. :scrying:

Pediatric Critical Care Columnist · Jan 17, 2009

Yes, it's very sad for the family to lose a dearly loved child. Those of us who cared for her in a professional capacity could see the writing on the wall long before this final event, and while we grieve for her family even though they were so "difficult", we're relieved that her suffering is over. Such is the the path we've chosen to walk as PICU nurses. In the end, the parents were grateful for the extra time we were able to give them with their baby, despite the challenges caring for her with her many complexities provided them, and that's our reward.

diane227, LPN, RN · Jan 18, 2009

Don't store your carrots in your lady parts.

Don't bet the guys at the bar that you can get a 16 oz Dr. Pepper bottle up your (whatever).

Cocaine, injected into your member will not make your have an erection, but it might result in an amputation.

Don't try to prop up your erection by inserting stir sticks into your member.

Don't stuff the end of your member with chewing gum to stop the "drip" from you GC.

When you are a tree trimmer, don't get drunk and cut off the limb that your sitting on.

Don't substitute cruise control for autopilot and get up to walk to the back of your van while driving down the freeway.

Don't use a lawnmower as a hedge trimmer.

If your wife stabs you, shoots you and tries to run over you with a car, all within a month, get a new wife.

You can't kill mean people.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jan 19, 2009

"When you are a tree trimmer, don't get drunk and cut off the limb that your sitting on." oh my -oh my...I'm laughing so hard I'm crying over here.....

talaxandra · Jan 20, 2009

Don't store your carrots in your lady parts.

Man, that's going to be tough to remember

diane227, LPN, RN · Jan 20, 2009

I kid you not. This guy was out on the tree limb and cut it right off. Sad however, he was a complete quad afterward.

Seishiro · Jan 21, 2009

Never drink English Leather.