Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

[Trixxy]

Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary!

Anybody got anything to add?

[prmenrs, RN]

groan...

[Becca608]

Felching is when you don't use a straw. Shrimping is when you do use a straw. Sort of like the difference between drinking from the can vs. a glass.

:barf02:That is SO MUCH MORE information than I ever wanted to know!:trout:

[TDub, MSN, EdD]

Sorry, sorry again.

muses....maybe I should delete that post....

[Becca608]

LOL, these are all just too funny! BTW, don't go running around in the baked potato patch at night You might trip and fall on a baked potato and have to have it surgically removed.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Becca608]

Don't get mad when the doc asks you if you would like him to "change the batteries while he's in there" in the 9 inch toy that needs to be surgically removed from your orifice

Don't read while drinking espresso during a study break!!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Becca608]

Thanks everyone! This thread was terrific. Unfortunately, I don't have anything I've learned from a patient yet, but here's a few from my life as a patient:

Using the iron handrail outside of your home as a slide is not a good idea (hole in the head #1).

Pretending to be Jedi Knight while playing alone at a construction site is not a good idea (hole in the head #2, only 6 weeks later).

Do not take your bipolar sister to a haunted house because your nephews want to go and she wants to have fun with them. Everyone's evening will be ruined.

Never fight a beagle for the gum in your sister's purse. You will a have daily reminder for the rest of your life.

Never let your 9 year old nephew give you a ride on his new go-cart without a helmet on YOUR head (hole in the head #3, 21 years later)

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

never....never...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :uhoh21: :uhoh21: :eek: :uhoh21: :uhoh21:

anybody got anything to add?

:trout:never swallow an open safety pin just because you saw your mother hold one in her mouth when she was changing a younger sibling's diaper. you will have to have surgery to get it out, and thankfully, you lived to tell about it.

[psalm, RN]

This I learned from a pt. on the med floor...Never use the words "looking good" or "very nice" when you are assessing a man's member after debriding and/or extensive wound care. No matter how debilitated the pt. is, he will think you are interested in some "action".

[HeatherB,CST]

Geez, if I had a nickel for every time somebody flipped out over a minute bubble in the IV, I would be typing this from my palace in Bali. :monkeydance:

Dont forget, though, that although that probably seems silly to you, most people who don't have medical training have never been taught that a little IV bubble is nothing to worry about. Everyone has, however, heard that an air bubble in your bloodstream can kill you.

Just one of those instances of a little knowledge being a dangerous (or annoying) thing...

[rierie]

As for the l.o.l. growing the plant in her nether regions....I always wondered why I could never grow anything. I've been doing it wrong this whole time! I always thought the expression was "green thumb" Wow how did that happen...??

Also be aware that what looks like spit of the siderail or bed of a male head injury patient is not usually spit. Always wear gloves!!

I know all this stuff sounds gross and mostly sexually explict but they are all good things to know when you are a new nurse. Anything that sounds not quite right when a patient/family member are telling you history investigate further and take things literally.

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

IF you have diabetic neuropathy and can't feel your feet to the point to where the doctor prescribes you diabetic shoes.... always inspect your feet every night, and never assume that the pesky sore on your toe is from a scratch. Look a little closer, it might be a roofing nail that has been imbedded in your toe for a week. And make sure your wife doesn't tell everyone that she inspects your feet every night and didn't see it. Because then she will look like an idiot.

[danissa, LPN, LVN]

Also be aware that what looks like spit of the siderail or bed of a male head injury patient is not usually spit. Always wear gloves!!

:lol2:..Aww..yuk.....Gross!!