Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

harry Krishna · Jan 20, 2004

Originally posted by grouchy
Do not tell your cardiac nurse that you are not having chest pain, then tell your son that you've been having chest pain all day, and noone has done anything about it. Your nurse does not appreciate this.

ALL TOO TRUE GROUCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYONE WHO QUOTES BURROUGHS IS QUITE ALL RIGHT IN MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2004

Originally posted by EmeraldNYL
Never smoke marijuana soaked in formaldehyde and laced with PCP. You WILL go crazy, and will probably end up intubated in the ICU.

In AZ they call this "sherm"

very common

sean

redshiloh · Jan 20, 2004

-use a vibrator 30 times in one day...

Hey, what's wrong with having a hobbie?

prmenrs, RN · Jan 20, 2004

Do not visit your baby in the NICU every day for ~ 2 weeks, hold the baby for an hour or 2 each time, chitchat w/the other moms nearby, and then say casually to the baby's nurse, " Is it ok to give the baby breast milk? I've got the Chicken Pox."

imenid37 · Jan 20, 2004

DC your own foley w/ your toes (while you are tied in 4-point restrainsts, of course) esp. not if you are on heparin. From back in my long lost days of the fine world of med-surg nursing!

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Jan 20, 2004

-use a vibrator 30 times in one day...

Hey, what's wrong with having a hobbie?

Lordy lordy. :eek:

Redshiloh,

You've got to be kidding! :rolleyes: That's enough to kill a horse, and to make the user go into respiratory arrest! :eek: Yowza!

Fran:D

grouchy · Jan 20, 2004

Originally posted by harry Krishna
ALL TOO TRUE GROUCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYONE WHO QUOTES BURROUGHS IS QUITE ALL RIGHT IN MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you! I like your screen name.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Jan 21, 2004

Originally posted by Frances LeMay
-use a vibrator 30 times in one day...

You've got to be kidding! That's enough to kill a horse, and to make the user go into respiratory arrest! Yowza!

Fran:D

Have they proven that with research??????

That would make an interesting research report.

Big Bab's · Jan 21, 2004

Originally posted by caroladybelle
Have they proven that with research??????

That would make an interesting research report.

What would the diagnosis code for this be???:roll

kc ccurn · Jan 21, 2004

Where would the funding come from ?:chuckle

ERNurse752, RN · Jan 21, 2004

Originally posted by kc ccurn
Where would the funding come from ?:chuckle

It would, of course, come from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Or Hugh Hefner.

OCCHCanada · Jan 21, 2004

Spray oven cleaner is not a great hair remover for arms.

Never check the fluid level of a gasoline tanker truck with a cigarette lighter.

There is no cocktail mixer that goes well with "Mennen's Wild Moss Aftershave"

Never leave medicinal leeches on a patient's head and leave the room.

Never garden naked, especially in the carrot patch. If you fall on your orifice...

Never unplug the spray "Pam" nozzle in hot grease.

:eek: And my all time favorite...do not inject your own urine to get high from the byproducts of the narcotics you've stolen from the ER. Especially when you are on duty and working in the ER as a NURSE!