I really like the Reader's Digest new monthly article. 13 things_____ won't tell you. This month it was teachers. So here are some I would like to see listed for nursing:
I really resent when you call and say you need a nurse immediately and when I get to the room you tell me you need a drink of water with a lot of ice. That is NOT something you need immediately and not something you need a nurse to do for you. Next time I won't hurry.
Standing at the desk staring at me isn't going to get me moving any faster, I am on the phone with the doctor getting orders. Glaring doesn't help either.
I understand you just had surgery, part of your recovery process is getting up and walking, so get up and walk.
Your doctor is an #@$hole, he will kill you sooner or later. Please don't sit there and say to me "well, my doctor says..."
Your family is crazy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you hit me, I will prosecute. I am not your punching bag.
You break my heart. You have been sick for so many years and yet you still smile when I walk into the room. AND manage to make me smile.
I love my work, but it is my work. My life is outside this place with people I love.
Please don't talk to me like I am stupid or deaf. I have a four year college degree and great hearing.
Use your call bell and your inside voice. Screaming nurse, nurse, nurse and banging your cup on the tray table will have people thinking your crazy and they will just ignore you.
When you come in acting like an idiot, your not advocating for your mom. The second you leave every nurse on the floor will avoid that room because they don't want to do a thing to tick you off.
That hug you gave me meant the world to me. The thank you for your great care? Made my day. Yes, I will be back tomarrow and one way or another you will be my patient.
Nursing is hard physical work. Nursing is hard physical work. Nursing is hard physical work.
No, I'm sorry that I can't take your visitors vitals...if they feel that ill, they should makean apt with their md...and if they are running a fever, THEY SHOULD NOT BE HERE!
I love you guys, these posts are hilarious! Here are a couple for the office nurses out there:
When I'm trying to get your vitals and find out why you're here, put DOWN your darn cell phone and talk to me, I deserve just as much respect as the doctor!
Do NOT bring your 4 kids with you to your pap smear and then tell me it's my JOB to watch them because this is a private visit!
Take control of your health- when I ask you what meds you take, don't tell me "you're the ones who prescribed them, you should know" then get mad at US when there's a med error.
If you're mad about your wait, take it up with the doctor. Don't scream and be belligerent with me, then go in and be sweet as pie with them.
Don't call me and ask evey day for samples when you have the best insurance coverage I've ever seen! I have lots of other patients who truly can't afford their meds!
Oh, super sorry, I wasn't aware that you and your mom's doctor were super close personal friends. The last 500 times someone has told me that, when I called and said "Mrs. Smith's dtr Jane, says that you will ____(fill in the blank), do you want to order that?" the doc generally has no freakin' idea who I'm talking about. But I'm sure it's different for you.
I trad these gigle and think our pt/visitors as a rule treat nurses as nurses there for the pt not the pt so. We firmly but nicely push patient to becomr more independent(rehab ward) and when we talk to relatives we get postive feedback. still we have some that try.
pt offered pre meal to be helped transtfer bed to chair told we would be unable to when meals being served(nurses serve the meals) as for hygiene reasons and to protected meals time. pt declines is sat up in bed meals being served soup going out to 24 pts, pt then demands to be sat in chair he is fully aware of routine and whinges so 2 staff out of 4 have to stop serving transfer him to a chair and pt is on contact precautions. and then go back to getting meals to 23 other pt. its like ahving an 80 year old child.
1. Don't tell me and the doc that you're not suicidal and then go outside your girlfriend's office, slit your throat with a filet knife, and light yourself on fire because she broke up with you.
2. On the other hand, quit calling our crisis line every day telling them you're suicidal, then refuse transport to the ER on the basis of 'they won't let me smoke and that doctor is a b****, but you sound really nice. What are you wearing?' Twit.
3. Oddly enough, calling my office and threatening to throw me out the window because my doc won't prescribe more Valium to go with your Scotch won't make me put that on my priority list...if you want to come TRY to toss me out the window, we close at 5 p.m...my window is rather small, I'm rather husky, and I'm fairly skilled in takedown procedure...enter at your own risk!
4. I'm not the doctor's puppet. Yes, she gives the order, and I carry it out...but I also have an education which enables me to actually THINK about what I'm doing.
5. I give WAY better injections than the doctor, so think very carefully before you request that 'only my doctor be allowed to do that'. (off the record, I'm a better bowler too but she's got me beat at tennis).
6. Your family is nuts. I now totally understand why you are the way you are...I don't like you very much either, but I have more appreciation for your current coping skills.
7. Some of the very best things you can do to keep yourself healthy are simple: wash your hands, especially after using the bathroom and before eating...take a multivitamin...get plenty of sleep...get plenty of exercise...and get some sunshine every day...I think most people are on way too many medications and are too invested in being chronically 'unwell'.
8. ADD and fibromyalgia are overdiagnosed.
9. If you don't want to be responsible for your children, perhaps you should seriously consider sterilization.
10. I see the very best and very worst of people on a daily basis and am in total awe of some of my patients, particularly one fellow who went from being floridly psychotic and homeless to being able to hold down a job and finally...FINALLY...find a meaningful relationship...his secret? Perseverance (and a little Haldol).
11. I think deinstitutionalization was one of the very worst things that could happen to my folks because they were turned out into a system unprepared to help them...so guys that were used to socialization, 3 meals a day and regular doctor visits now live alone, with few friends, and some are incapable of getting themselves to our appointments, much less anywhere else. For some people, living in a structured group setting is not a bad thing.
12. I really love my chosen career, my patients, my co-workers, and my current place of employment...however, my true enjoyment in life is found outside work...I only work so that I can enjoy my non-working life...if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't; trust me on this.
13. I love it when my patients come up to me in public and address me as 'the nurse'...some patients are so embarassed to be associated with 'mental health' that they don't, and that's their choice, and I'm okay with that...but some patients are really advocates for chasing away the stigma of mental illness, and it's so much fun to be involved in that with them!
I might just a little cranky just because since I got here at 6:45am you and the other 2 PIAs have me running like crazy, its 4pm I have not eaten or used the restroom since I got here at 6:45 and you are still complaining that it took me 5 minutes to run to you to help you to the bathroom so you can pee. LADY TRY HOLDING IT IN FOR 8 HOURS!
that it is immoral to change your relatives code status from what they want to what you want when they can no longer make their own health care choices.
Please don't ask me for the pain pill that isn't ordered for you---then turn around and ask the doctor for a blanket. You must have our job descriptions mixed up.:stone
dscrn
525 Posts
No, I'm sorry that I can't take your visitors vitals...if they feel that ill, they should makean apt with their md...and if they are running a fever, THEY SHOULD NOT BE HERE!