Things you would love to tell your management and get away with

[madwife2002]

I love the thread things you would love to tell your pt and get away with.

But to be truthful for me I love the pts and rarely want to be horrid to them. However I do have lots of things I would like to say to the management and get away with my job. So here are a few things

1/ No you take the extra pt and flex up why should I

2/ Stop sitting on that fat bum and come out here and do some real work for a change.

3/ I wouldnt trust you to help me with my pts because you have no skills left so would be useless

4/ Do you even remember what it was like to work as a floor nurse

5/ Why would I ask you how to do anything you are not upto date and never know the answers

6/ In these days of financial crisis why are you getting an extra shift per week?

[truern]

J-, thank you for helping me with my first GI bleed...you jumped right in there with me and helped clean her up. Thank you for sharing your story about your first GI bleed. You were great!!

J-, thank you for crying with me when "Benson" was dying.

J-, thank you for the written note tucked into the certified formal HR letter about my LOA because you know how much those CFHR letters bother me :)

J-, thank you for being so approachable even though we very seldom came to a meeting of the minds

J-, thank you for noticing is I wasn't smiling and asking if anything was wrong.

S-, thank you for telling me "I probably shouldn't tell you this" before letting me know I could have avoided a disciplinary level for missing work d/t vertigo if only I'd know about FMLA for chronic conditions.

Five outta six ain't bad!!

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

1. I know my filling out these 4 extra forms makes you think you look better to upper management. But the time I spent turning patients, doing oral care and teaching decreased our bedsores, nosocomial infections and repeat admits. Yet I come up lacking on eval day and you praise the slacker that has yet to turn a patient but has filled out every useless form.

2. You nit pick and write up staff for minor infractions with the flick of a pen (like clocking in or out a minute late) which causes poor morale, poor retention, high turnover and short staffing! Worse yet you deny my vacation time because we are short staffed, then call me the same week to come in extra and "threaten" me for not being a "TEAM PLAYER", join the team BOSS and take a patient load.

3. The next time you grant X amount of family the "hilton honors" of rooming in all night long in a cramped ICU room, I will next send them to your roomy office to share space with you to gawk at you while you try to fill out your "important reports for your boss". PS. they are bringing pizza but none of it is for you either.

4. Finally, when you jack up my schedule, because I am the most "valued senior staff" (denied vacation mind you), don't come to me with that fake smile and fake sweet voice asking me to switch a day because you screwed the schedule up and there is no senior staff on the days I wanted to work!!!!!!! I'M BUSY:yeah:

whooot, that felt good, thanks a bunch... :yeah:smooch.

My peeve too. OMG management is so clueless about who makes the unit run right and who is just riding the train.

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

I like how everything my manager somehow brings everything back to teamwork.

The patient fell. "Lack of teamwork. Teamwork would have prevented it."

I'm sick, can't come to work today. "Well since you are part of a team you have to come in to work. Teamwork is what makes this floor work."

The sky is falling. "With teamwork this would have not happened."

TEAMWORK: THE PROBLEM FIXER-UPPER! :up:

[smurfy]

-When was the last time you had actual contact with a real patient? real life nursing is alot different than the fancy"book learning nursing" you have done for soo many years.

-if I have to spend massive amounts of time in a patient's room (who is sun-downing) and have to take care of his sun-downing visiting wife also, please do not expect me to be cheerful and happy that I am getting an admission that really is too critically ill for this floor, but you want to fill the rooms so hey, whatever goes. :hdvwl:

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

I have heard time and again how you were able to manage 68 patients, meds, tx, charting, safety rounds and doc orders all on your own, practically with one hand tied behind your back. NOW, we are a nurse and a Cna down, so let me see you do it.

PROVE to me you can do it or shut up and let me do the work, even poor care is better than no care.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

You obviously have forgotten your motto when you were still a floor nurse-we all heard it until we wanted to puke-let me remind you now " I can't wait until I'm in that office -I'll really back MY staff" What happened? You are a professional apple polisher-you schmooze the biggest PITA's in a transparent effort to obtain yet another letter of thanks to add to your personel file and always post a copy prominently on the unit involved. You always approach any situation with "Well,when I was on the floor I...." Not particularly constructive-especially since you worked doubles and lived on speed..We all are not YOU...You are also VERY skilled at taking credit for other's good ideas (I've been a victim of that) SO STOP IT....

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

Do not ask me to do one more thing in that fake happy voice and tell me how good I am so you are sure that I can handle this one little thing. I can promise you that my head will blow right off of my shoulders.

The next time one of the upper management asks me why I look so stressed/unhappy I would love to tell them that it is because I am stressed duh. I can promise that you would be too if you came out of the office long enough to see what is really happening on the floor. No, silly I do not mean stand at the nurses station and talk to the other managers. I mean get your butt out there and work the floor.

No I do not have it so easy compaired to other nurses working in other facilities in our area. I am not stupid I talk to other nurses and I know the kind of crap that they put up with is not nearly on the same level as what is dished out here on a daily basis. News flash baby one of these days I am going to get sick of the crap that you shove down my throat by the shovel full daily and all you are going to see is my back side as I am walking out the door.

Oh wow that felt good. Thanks for starting this thread.

[eriksoln, BSN, RN]

Oh, I just remembered something I wanted to tell management, there is so many:

"Stop touching me there. I'm married and not that kind of guy."

I'd yell it loud as hell, right from the office, for no reason. I'd get fired of course but it'd be fun.

[RNKITTY04]

Zookeeper3, KTWLPN, JB2007, all excellent posts. Makes me feel like I'm not alone (sniff)

Thanks.:heartbeat

[MultipNP, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

Ahhh....reading these posts has been very therapeutic! I have so many things I could say to my manager and DON -- but would be fired. Heck, I could sue them and WIN -- except I know my career would be ruined.

At the risk of repeating an old joke, I often feel like responding to their fake attempts to act understanding with, "This is like Deja Moo -- you know, the feeling I've heard this bull before!"

[Melinurse]

1. Please take your Bipolar medications like you are supposed to.

2. You asked me to be your back up resource not the one on call. Quit changing the terms of our agreement.

3. Give me a straight answer for once.

4. Did I take care of you on my mental health rotation in school?

5. I've asked for your support advise twice now, answer your dang phone, you are on call not me!:angryfire

[RN1982]

deleted.