Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Acute Rehab.

You know, I just read somewhere that if you roll your eyes as much as you do, they just might stay like that; with the pupil and iris facing the retina. Then you'd have to walk backwards for the rest of your life! :rolleyes:

Specializes in RN.

My contribution:

"This night crew is the best and I am very thankful!"

"Can I challenge you to NOT talk about your kids for just one day? Is there anything else in that head of yours?"

" Actually your kid is very average in sports. The elite camp will do nothing but perpetrate the already over-inflated self importance that is the bane of our society."

"Oh I see...it's a systems error even though YOU are the only one that the system doesn't like?...yeah right..."

"Go play in traffic"

Stop fllirting with all of the doctors. there is no chance for you, you are not good at it or good looking and it looks pathetic.

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Specializes in Gerontology.

Yes, I know you go have one more pt than everyone else. Someone ALWAYS has one more pt. there are 31 pt and 6 nurses. Do the Math. Yes it stinks. Suck it up buttercup!

For crying out loud will you do some bleeping work and stop walking up and down with a drug chart in your hand 'looking busy' Im tired of busting my rear doing multiple peoples jobs because you are too blinking lazy.

For crying out loud will you do some bleeping work and stop walking up and down with a drug chart in your hand 'looking busy' Im tired of busting my rear doing multiple peoples jobs because you are too blinking lazy.

And on this note- how about you chart while taking care of the patient instead of charting once the delivery is done and taking 5 hours to do it so you don't have to take anymore patients?!?!?

Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.

I left long term care a couple years ago and am now a unit secretary/monitor tech in an LTACH hospital, and while I love it, I just HAVE to let this gripe out from this morning.

OMG there are freaking TWO of you on day shift...one to do paperwork and one to watch monitors (at night it's only me or the one other night secretary)....is it REALLY necessary to FIGHT over who gets to watch telemetry today? What ever happened to taking turns...nice to know we receded to middle school...grow the hell up before I knock your heads together **shaking my head**

Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.

If you are REALLY that miserable on our floor, and you don't like the patients, or the manager, or how they do things at this hospital, then WHY on EARTH wouldn't you accept that NEW position you were offered in a totally different department!??! :no:

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

No, I do not have to sit here while you scour the computer for every detail of your patient's life, including social work notes. Come in 10 minutes EARLY if you want to do that, not ten minutes LATE. I'm starting report at 0700- like it or not.

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

Why oh why did you accept a night position knowing full well you don't do well on night shift? And why do you keep hoping one of the day people will go to nights? You took the job knowing it was a night position. Deal with it. Seriously people make me wonder.

Calling the rapid phone to ask me to take your patient to CT is fine, but please lets try to set it up ahead of time not when transport is there and ready to take the pt.

Please only use the rapid pager for emergencies. That page goes to me, the house doc, and the supervisor. The others get quite annoyed when you alpha page and ask me to take your pt to CT/MRI/X ray or to start an IV.

Please try to start an IV before you call me for it. I know I am good at it, but guess what I have done tons of them over 12 years. Practice is how you get good.

Specializes in Med-Surg.

From this week:

-No, it's not the 'responsible and respectful' thing to do to give you 2 months notice to find a replacement for me. Because for one, my contract actually SAYS I can give you ONE day's notice and walk out. Two, I gave you 3 weeks notice. More than reasonable by most standards. Three, I offered to come back between my two orientations at my new job, giving you an extra week of help AFTER my notice. And four, the fact that you all decided to FIRE my NM in such a classless way the day before I was going to give you notice anyways, leaving NO RN in the office, well that's just not my problem. I had my job offer already, I have my start date scheduled, and you can't make me change my mind. You just don't have that kind of money. And let's face it, 'respect' is not something you are worried about giving to your employees, so why do you expect it?

-While I am not bending over backwards getting things prepared for my replacement for YOUR benefit, it would still be nice for you to have more about it to say than 'Oh, that's nice'. Because obviously when training is left in your hands, as it was for MINE, it is not done well. Sink or swim, if you will. And if you throw another nurse in the situation I was put in, it won't be long until you do this song and dance again.

And OH MY GOD! I gave you three weeks notice for a frickin' reason!!!! You fired my NM. There was no other RN to handle training a newbie. So I figured, three weeks will give me plenty of time to show a new nurse the ropes before I leave. YOU WAIT UNTIL 3 DAYS BEFORE MY FINAL DAY TO BRING HER IN??!! What are you thinking?! I am sure you think I will just come back and help out later on, but frankly, given the childish attitude you and OM have been giving me since I handed in my resignation, I think my phone might just be off that week. Maybe.

God. Counting down the days, I swear.

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