Stupid things that nurses say

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

Specializes in Dementia care, hospice.

"I told 2 squabbling 80 + yr olds to "GO to your room, if you can't get along". (I work LTC.) Then I remembered, not only was that probably NOT appropriate for me to say, but they are in the SAME room!! LOL"

OMG did this one night last week!! Next thing I know, pillows and blankets are flying into the hallway! Had to stand between the two beds until both had changed into night clothes and were all tucked in... then told them each to stay on their own sides of the room and GO TO SLEEP! I swear, some nights it's like Romper Room on crack!

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When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

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Specializes in IMCU.
When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley. Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... they wouldn't stay on. This pt was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

Bazinga!

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I was taught in school and by my jobs that is = every shift. That would mean to me that the pt voided at least once a shift at some point during the shift. Q8h is every 8 hours. And I work 12 hour shifts so qs is at least once during the 12 hours.

.

Your school and work are mistaken unfortunately.... this is why The Joint Commission hates abbreviations.....they aren't being taught properly.

It is latin for quantities sufficient.

q.s.

Type: Abbreviation

Definitions:

1. Abbreviation for L. quantum sufficit or satis, as much as suffices.

Q.s. -- Medical Definition

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my stupid moment as a new grad- asking pt if they had a BM today

Duh- they had a colostomy .lol

As one who has a colostomy I can tell you that your question was perfectly reasonable -- we don't store the stuff indefinitely. Particularly after colostomy surgery, it is important to note when the plumbing starts functioning. Colostomites also get constipated and have diarrhea, like everyone else.

Your question was appropriate.

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Pt's family: my mother is dead

Me: Are you sure?

Pt's family: I think i would know

This was what we expected to happen that day but I guess I was just taken aback.

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As witnessed in an ICU:

Nurse to a patient who is morbidly obese and weighs close to 350 lbs.: "I see in your chart you had bariatric surgery

a few years ago." "It's too bad you had difficulty keeping your weight down."

Patient: "I did keep my weight down." "I used to weigh close to 500 lbs."

Never assume, never presume

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Yes, things like that can happen. I once asked a one-armed man if I could give him a hand with his computer. Open mouth insert foot. Yep, true story.

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One of my first patient assessments... the patient wanted to know why the nurses keep asking him his name, where he was and the date (A&O)...

Me: We just need to check your orientation..

Patient: My orientation?? How do those questions determine that?

Me: (Now Embarrassed) NO... I Mean... um... oh goodness....

Patient laughs..

My patient was homosexual, for a second he thought I meant his sexual orientation... oops...

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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.
I work with dementia pts and I have young children at home and in a lot of ways taking care of children and dementia pts is similar (as in they both need lots of cues/assistance with ADLs). So I often find myself saying things to my pts that I would say to my children like "No, no, don't put that in your mouth, it's icky!" and "Do you need to go potty?"

One thing I hate more than anything is hearing anyone be they caregiver or nurse lean into their patient and say "Do you need to go POO?"

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Specializes in LTC and School Health.

I shared this one before. One time I was walking my blind patient to the dinning room.

As we got to the table she bumped into the chair. I stated : " I'm sorry, I guess this is like the blind leading the blind".

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

These have been great posts!

I committed colossal faux pas RIGHT in front of my NM, who was new at the time, and doing a clinical immersion for a few weeks before she started her NM duties. She was in my OR that day.

My pt had just rolled into the OR. He was a "good ol' boy", tattooed from head to toe, great sense of humor and had a gentle disposition. During my pre-op interview with him and his family, we got to chatting about common interests and developed a good rapport. He used pretty colorful verbiage and that was fine with me, as I am known to use colorful language myself (NOT a good trait, but one that I own up to). I felt myself sliding into the dialect of a true Southerner while talking to him, and enjoyed the easy conversation that comes from a person that knows no strangers. After our chat session, he seemed a lot less scared about the procedure.

So here I am, on the other side of the OR bed helping the anesthesia care provider transfer my pt to the OR bed from the stretcher. My pt was quite sedated from the 2mg of Versed that was given in pre-op and seemed to be confused as to how to scoot himself over to the OR bed. So I patted the OR bed and said, "Bend up your knees and scoot your (another word for a donkey) on over here toward me." Umm....that kinda slipped out!

I looked at my NM with the same look of surprise that she shot at me and my pt responded, "Mmmkay. I know all about scooting my (another word for donkey), now. My wife tells me to scoot my (another word for donkey) all the time, but she usually wants me to scoot clear out the danged door!"

I apologized to the pt for my language, and he just laughed. When the pt was intubated and I had a minute, I apologized to my NM. She also laughed and said that the pt clearly understood what I wanted, but that I should make an effort to be more aware of what comes out of my mouth.

Can someone put in an order to dispo me into the next convenient black vortex!?!?

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