Stupid things that nurses say

silverbat · Jun 12, 2012

I had a very confused HOH gentleman who did not understand that he had a foley catheter in place. he kept yelling "I have to ****". Finally, I just went in and help up the drainage bag, and said, quite loudly of course, since he was very HOH

Sometimes I wonder how I manage to walk with my foot, or feet in my mouth!!!!

JenLPN001 · Jun 12, 2012

I had a very confused HOH gentleman who did not understand that he had a foley catheter in place. he kept yelling "I have to ****". Finally, I just went in and help up the drainage bag, and said, quite loudly of course, since he was very HOH
Sometimes I wonder how I manage to walk with my foot, or feet in my mouth!!!!

OMG I know that man!!!!!!!!! I kid you not, we've got a resident, very HOH, dementia, has pulled his cath out with balloon inflated so many times that he looks like a split hot dog (ok bad visual but anyway...) and that's what he says ALL the time and that's pretty much how we have to reply to him too. All I can think is.. he must have been great fun at dinner parties LOL

TX.RN.Shannon · Jun 12, 2012

As a student nurse, I went with the surgeon to remove staples from an abdominal staples. As I was working carefully, the doctor made a comment about me doing a good job. I replied with something about it being my first time and that it was just like when I took out my cat's staples

What a dumb***...I'm sure my patient had lots of faith in me then.

ukjenn231 · Jun 13, 2012

I was a CNA training a new CNA... He went in to get vitals on a patient while I was doing something with my back turned. He said something like, "Do I use this thermometer on the wall?" I replied, "yes, the blue thermometer is for oral temps.." He said, "Oh, what's the red for?" I said, "rectal." I turned around at that moment and saw a mortified patient spit the red thermometer out of her mouth. Oops.

The margarita comment made me think - my grandma is in the hospital, when I was here yesterday the nurse gave her a "shot" of robitussin. The nurse kept going on and on about taking shots and alcohol. My grandma is a very devoted Christian and thinks alcohol is the devil, so I was cringing like, ohhh nurse, please, this patient won't appreciate your jokes.

Oh well, we're only human :)

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 13, 2012

Love it!!
Interesting to read that you can have shared rooms in LTC. These a very much frowned upon in the UK.

Are the LTC's still like a personal bedroom with a regular bed in the UK? They were when I left NZ and was surprised to find LTC's are more like hospitals that homes.

billyboblewis · Jun 13, 2012

Went to er because of severe headache at 11pm. When after several hours in waiting room I was taken to er bed. The nurse came in to greet me and said you are just here for a prescription renewal. I went home at 2am after getting similar ridiculous comments from the MD. After 2 visits to urgent care I was given a letter to get a scan and went to the ER at another institution..One hour after I got there I was in surgery for subdural hematoma.

I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.
Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.
Patient: "This taste horrible"
Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)
Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"
Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)
Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.
I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!
:thankya:

R!XTER · Jun 13, 2012

I was working in fast track one night with one attending MD who is not my favorite - kind of high strung and crabby - but we get along fine. Another attending who is one of my favorites came in to talk and mentioned that he is leaving for another job in a few months.

Like an idiot I blurt out "Aww, why do the good ones always have to go?"

To which the first attending responds: "right, and the old crabby ones like me always stick around!" :uhoh21:

Can you say mortified?? Then I start stammering and stuttering "uh, no that is not what I meant at all!!!" EEEEK!!! (of course, it was EXACTLY what I meant, I just should not have said it!!)

sgnemo25 · Jun 13, 2012

I have one story: I had just removed a foley from a 78 y/o male pt and he wanted his "privates" cleaned." There was a female visitor with him at the BSD, she'd been there since his admission, and I though he'd said that was his spouse. I said sure I'll get some wash cloths and skin cleanser so your spouse can help you out :lol2: . He was like "she's not my wife" and the female visitor was like "no I'm his friend." I felt sooo embarrassed :eek: and mortified. But I apologized several times and they took it pretty well. very nice pt/visitor.

MegEDRN · Jun 13, 2012

Short version of my story is I accidentally told a pt I did not want her "to go down on me" when I really meant fall down on the floor. Oh I was dying trying to get out of that room I was so embarassed.

OMG I say that all the time and never thought of it THAT way! That's a day ruiner. haha

Whispera, MSN, RN · Jun 13, 2012

Back in the olden days when I was a student, I took a patient to her car, via wheelchair. Thinking she'd understand what I meant, I said, "I hope I never see you again." I meant I hoped everything would go well and she'd not need the hospital again. She took it personally and thought I was just being plain rude!

Ack! Never assume abstract thinking is possible!

Firestorm 11 · Jun 13, 2012

Well, that's one of those moments you will remember forever. Mine was dealing with an elderly gentleman who had become progressively more confused on the night shift. During first morning rounds, he ask, "Did you see the traveling salesman who came through here?" His eyes were shifting side to side like those in a haunted house painting. For whatever reason, I lost my presence of mind and replied, "No. What was he selling?" Ok, not a bit of reality orientation in that one! His reply was even more priceless, "Manure chips...and I ate every one of them...and I don't feel very good." Oh, no, what I had already said wasn't enough. It was all I could do to avoid an outright burst of laughter, in a situation already headed south, before I let loose with my brilliant reply, "Well no wonder you don't feel very good!" Needless to say...he was in respirtory failure and wound up transferring to ICU. I am not sure if what I said was unforgiveable or brilliant in that his degree of disorientation was immediately maifest and I took appropriate action. Right after I took my foot out of my mouth. To this day, I still do not understand how I blundered into that situation.

newSN · Jun 13, 2012

How about stupid things RESIDENTS say?!? The other day I chaperoned a pelvic exam that a young resident was performing on a middle-aged woman. The resident is kind of awkward enough as it is. As soon as the exam was over, he asks the woman…"So, was that the best pelvic you ever had?" He meant, was it pain-free, not so bad, tolerable. But she turned beet red. After he left the room we BOTH started cracking up. The patient asked me, "what did he want me to reply… 'with a pelvic like that, are you married?!?'" LOL I asked him later that day if he meant to say something different and he said that as soon as it came out of his mouth he wanted to take it back.