STUPID PARENTS!! (vent here)

Nurses General Nursing

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This may not belong in this forum but it will have nursing issues involved. On October 30th my 9yo child was ran down by another child on his mountain bike. I say ran down because this is what he did---chased her through our yard with her screaming noooo go away!!!! She fell down, he ran her over, broke her arm approx 3 inches below the head of the Humerus, then rode on home with her left screaming bloddy murder in our yard. I took her to the ER where I work and the xray showed it was below the growth plate but was displaced a great deal. There was nothing they could do that night about it (very rural hospital). She had to see an orthopedic surgon in the am approx 100miles away. He said there wasn't enough to pin so she had to keep a sling on with a wieghted chunk of plaster hanging on her elbow for traction, no cast or anything. She missed out on the trick or treat thing (bothered her alot), missed a little over a month of school(was her right hand), had to sleep sitting up in a recliner to keep it in alignment. Needless to say this was very traumatic for a 9yo girl to deal with as it was for her 36yo father (me)

The boy that ran her over has had no punishment in any way. Was out riding his bike the next day. His parents have offered nothing, not even an "I'm sorry", and they know exactly what he did. The law in Nebraska states the parent is accoutable for only $1000.00 of injuries that thier child causes. The kid can blow up a house and they have to pay for all of it--but hurt another child--1000.00 bucks. My ER bill was that much for gods sake. She had 5 visits to the orthpidic doc--have not seen thoses bills yet. We have no health insurance, could not get it and pay the bills as well--$500.00+ a month for family coverage. My DD went through all this, my family is screwed money wise, I'm so mad I'm about to go nuts.

I hate irresposible parents.:angryfire I am so close to letting my 12yo son go over and break that kids arm and then say-"thats for my sister--now we are even" but no I will not I AM a responsible parent.

Sorry about the long long LONG rant--had to get it out of my system.

Tom

Please don't follow this, but when I lived in a little rural town in texas (population 400) justice for this sort of thing was dealt out by having another kid (around 12) beat up the offending 9 yr old.

Just the sort of thing older brothers/cousins are for...

If we're speaking of rural country law anyway.

Not that I condone this, but it seemed to work in that place.

You didn't mess with the little ones cause of fear of the older kids making you pay for it.

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That is outrageous! I am fuming over here. :angryfire You are a better person than me because I don't think I would be able to control myself. I know that you have to let it go because there is nothing that you can do that falls within the law but man does that suck! Those parents are going to learn the hard way when that little bastard becomes a teen and makes them the target of his rage.

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Do you have homeowners insurance? I know if someone fell in my yard, my homeowners insurance would pick up the bill. It's worth a try.

I hope your daughter recovers fast. I'll keep her in my prayers.

--Marci

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Specializes in A myriad of specialties.
What about the local press? Might not exactly get your money back but maybe richer readers will feel sorry enough to at least help pay the bills?? I know it sounds crass but it usually works here in the UK!

This is a good idea, RGN. Another idea: how about a letter to the editor of your local newspaper detailing the situation? It might be nice to include the names of the guilty though I wonder if the newspaper would print it with the guilty persons' names....maybe word it like" Mr. X (just the X not his real name--but say"you know who you are" has a son named xx and here's what xx did to my daughter....") and don't forget to include info about the current law limiting damages to $1000. It just might appeal to some readers' hearts and pocketbooks; and if nothing comes of it at least you've vented publicly and alerted others to the effects of that strange law!

My heartfelt wishes go to the OP and his daughter.

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Specializes in Case Management.

I think you should persue it in court. You would be teaching your daughter the right way to resolve a situation when she is wronged, you would be teaching this kid what the parents are not-that when you do bad things there will be consequences, and it will teach the parents that they cannot bury their heads in the sand about the future convict the are raising. Perhaps your lawyer friend can do the lawyer part pro bono so you will not be out much. $1000 is better than nothing, and look at all the lessons that will be learned!

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I'm going to chime in on the "let it go" train of thought. Take comfort in the fact that your daughter "only" had a broken arm. The little juvenile delinquent could have done much worse. And chances are, he's going to blow something up very soon and his parents will be paying for that (since it will be property damage after all, stupid laws.)

I'm also curious, have you looked into your homeowners insurance to help with the bills? I'm sure that you've got a high deductible (don't we all!!!) but the bills for an orthopedist have got to be higher than even a giant deductible!

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

You might check the local criminal laws--in some areas, the parent can be arrested for the child's misdeeds--I'd certainly count assault and battery as a misdeed! I've seen parents have to come and clean up grafitti.

If the parents are so unaware of their child's activities that he causes severe harm to another child, should social services be involved? Seems like neglect to me.

Bottom line, don't do anything you'll regret later! I'm really sorry your family has had to go through all this. Very sad.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

I only think you should take it to court because, gads, what's going to happen when that little terror gets behind the wheel of a car?

He needs to learn that there are consequences for his actions.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I don't agree with the "let it go" side. The kid needs held accountable for his actions, and his parents need held accountable for their LACK of action.

Had it been my kid who did this to someone, first off the bike would be off-limits for quite awhile. Next, although it doesn't make up for anything, an apology to the child and the child's parents would be made. Next, i would offer to pay or help pay the medical bills for the immediate, BUT my kid would be working the bill off around the house, and the child's house, and helping the other child out, since that child only has one good arm for now, i bet they would need help with carrying books to and from school, etc.

And last but not least, a bicycle safety class, and afterwards, a verbal or written report of what he learned there.

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I would still go after the $1000. And go to the local press. Television- our local station has people who go after those who aren't held accountable and they have alot of success. Contact legislature about the law and write them an explicit letter detailing everything this kid did. Pictures are always good. Odds are he's not going to stop at your daughter. I bet he's a nuisance in school also.

And keep bugging the police. Did you talk to the chief of police? The mayor? He certainly wouldn't want it out that some kiddie hoodlum is out on the streets of his sweet little town.

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I'd teach my daughter the anatomy of the patella and how to swing a nice piece of hickory with accuracy and power...

Oooooooo....I like that one......"I didn't see him standing there, honest!"

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Specializes in NICU- now learning OR!.

Wow. Where to begin......

I am very sorry to hear of this very painful situation for you and your daughter. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.

Now, with that said...I am SHOCKED by the posts in this thread! We are talking about CHILDREN here! YES, this boy was very, very much in the wrong...but I can remember plenty of times as a child doing bad things and making the wrong choices....but for goodness sake you can't fault a CHILD! The parents should have said "I'm sorry" or SOMETHING...but they didn't and that too is a shame...perhaps one of the reasons the boy acted the way he did (He was never taught any better)

I am personally disgusted by all the "sue happy" people in this world (as evidenced by this thread as well!) It is not the other families fault that you do not have insurance - plain and simple. We, as nurses complain about how people are so quick to sue...and just look at all the posts about limits on expenses being reimbursed...should this other family go bankrupt because of a CHILDS poor judgement??

Again, your situation is terrible and I am truly sorry for this-but all of this anger and talk of going to the media and the courts, etc. is not going to make your daughter better any faster. Children do silly/stupid/mean sometimes awful things...but there is VERY MUCH a difference between a 9 year old and a 19 year old and I think you know that. Sure, arresting this little boy would scare the heck out of him and make you feel better...but it isn't going to HELP anyone!

Just my .02

Jenny

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