STUPID PARENTS!! (vent here)

[tgb3rn]

This may not belong in this forum but it will have nursing issues involved. On October 30th my 9yo child was ran down by another child on his mountain bike. I say ran down because this is what he did---chased her through our yard with her screaming noooo go away!!!! She fell down, he ran her over, broke her arm approx 3 inches below the head of the Humerus, then rode on home with her left screaming bloddy murder in our yard. I took her to the ER where I work and the xray showed it was below the growth plate but was displaced a great deal. There was nothing they could do that night about it (very rural hospital). She had to see an orthopedic surgon in the am approx 100miles away. He said there wasn't enough to pin so she had to keep a sling on with a wieghted chunk of plaster hanging on her elbow for traction, no cast or anything. She missed out on the trick or treat thing (bothered her alot), missed a little over a month of school(was her right hand), had to sleep sitting up in a recliner to keep it in alignment. Needless to say this was very traumatic for a 9yo girl to deal with as it was for her 36yo father (me)

The boy that ran her over has had no punishment in any way. Was out riding his bike the next day. His parents have offered nothing, not even an "I'm sorry", and they know exactly what he did. The law in Nebraska states the parent is accoutable for only $1000.00 of injuries that thier child causes. The kid can blow up a house and they have to pay for all of it--but hurt another child--1000.00 bucks. My ER bill was that much for gods sake. She had 5 visits to the orthpidic doc--have not seen thoses bills yet. We have no health insurance, could not get it and pay the bills as well--$500.00+ a month for family coverage. My DD went through all this, my family is screwed money wise, I'm so mad I'm about to go nuts.

I hate irresposible parents.:angryfire I am so close to letting my 12yo son go over and break that kids arm and then say-"thats for my sister--now we are even" but no I will not I AM a responsible parent.

Sorry about the long long LONG rant--had to get it out of my system.

Tom

[gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP]

It sounds like the only thing you can do is let go of it. I know that sounds awful but let me explain...

Years ago I was hit head on - 70 mph by a drunk driver without insurance. I was severely injured, my car was a total loss. I wasted a lot of time and energy being an angry person about it. In fact I was so focused on being angry that it took the focus OFF of what was really important to me - the fact that I was still alive, still had my wonderful family and and my (at the time) new nursing career I had worked so hard for! That anger became a driving force in everything I did. It ate me alive, and ultimately, in many ways it ate my children and my marriage and a couple of jobs.

It took me until years later to look back and see that the anger had been extremely counterproductive for me and the people I loved. While I can't say I forgive the guy who hit me that night - I can say that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't. In the overall scheme of life, it was an event, but it's over. I choose not to lose anymore sleep over the fact that I have a judgement against him for over half a mil I will never see a dime of, that he has been in and out of prison on multiple felonies including indecency with a child...He has done more damage to his life with that wreck then he did to mine. His revenge will be his own.

And so will this boys. Maybe not now, and maybe not soon, but you can bet that if this boy is doing things like this now, he and his family will know much suffering later.

You on the other hand have your sweet daughter to hug and comfort and teach forgiveness to. Money is just money. it comes and goes like water. Sometimes you have a little and sometimes you have a lot, but the harder you hang on to it, the more likely it is to slip away. It certainly isnt worth losing your sleep and sanity over.

Good luck

[jimthorp]

I'd teach my daughter the anatomy of the patella and how to swing a nice piece of hickory with accuracy and power...

[gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP]

Altho - I probably would go after the 1000.00

[RGN1]

What about the local press? Might not exactly get your money back but maybe richer readers will feel sorry enough to at least help pay the bills?? I know it sounds crass but it usually works here in the UK!

[clee1]

The ONLY thing you can do, and it won't solve your immediate issue, is to lobby your state legislature for changes in the law that provide for such paltry damages.

ALSO, you could mount a campaign to oust that worthless DA.

Pyhrric victories, to be sure.... but it might help the next family facing your situation.

As to revenge, don't even think about it! It'll just cost you more. However, I think I'd teach my daughter about what happens when you jam a broomstick into turning bicycle spokes:idea:

As to the juvenile delinquent that attacked your DD (and that's what it was - an attack), on his current path, he'll wind up in prison in a few years anyway. I just hope he doesn't wind up killing somebody first.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

I think I'd go after the $1000 even if I never actually saw a penny of it. Teach your daughter that this isn't revenge but an attempt at making him face the consequences of his actions.

As others have said, though, he'll eventually face much worse consequences.

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. A broken bone is bad enough when it's your own fault, this is horrible. In the long run, though, she'll be fine. The boy won't.

[gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP]

and you could put the money you do manage to get in a college savings acct for your daughter.

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

I think I would be beside myself!!!! I don't know what to tell you to do and don't really have any advise for you ...But I'd figure out someway to handle it to get some justice. I'm sorry your baby has to go through this.

[txspadequeenRN, BSN, RN]

LOL this is just what I was thinking...

I keep the bat for minor offenses and the shotgun for major offenses,,LOL just kiddin people (well not really).....

Sounds to me like some country justice is in order!

[Lacie, BSN, RN]

I'd be calling and writing my state attorney's office, calling the newspapers, and anyone else who would listen. Just because the child was only 9 years old doesnt mean he shouldnt be held responsible for what he did. He not only could be charged for the assault but for trespassing etc. Maybe abit of facing a judge for a royal orifice chewing and a night or two in juvie would do him abit of good if not scare the tar out of him. I understand your plight as I lived in rural areas of Kentucky and same old crap when it comes to the local attorney's etc. Particularly if it's election time LOL. And you are right if you have the cash in small areas then they get the protection (most those who have the money dont and are in hock up to thier necks actually lol). I would still pursue in small claims court for the medical bills. It would be worth the $50.00 just to see the kid show up in court.

[walkingrock, ADN]

i can only try to imagine the rage you must feel, as a parent for your daughter's trauma, and for the financial loss. :angryfire i don't know how one works through that...i believe, though, that the poster who spoke about her experience, and it's counterproductiveness is right on. if you can figure out a way to use that rage in a productive way to make life better for your daughter or to prevent something similar from happening to someone else, it could be healing. i'm so sorry this happened to your family. life certainly isn't fair, and one has to decide where to spend one's emotional and financial resources. i hope i don't sound like i'm preachy...i certainly don't feel like that; i just know from my own personal experience, that there's only so much a person has to give to something, and one can be "consumed" by something like this, to the point of being "used up".

[nurseangel47]

Can we say civil suit action? What keeps you from filing a claim against them in regards to the medical bills at least? If folks can go before "judge Judy" wannabes on tv show to collect miserably frivolous cases, (I HATE those shows, by the way!), it seems that you could find an attorney that would listen to the unfairness of the situation, sue for all medical expenses, and I mean sue, go for the lien against their house if that's all they've got!,

and get something in the juvenile court about that gangsta-in-training on wheels that purposefully did that to your daughter! How enraged I would be and know that you are! How dare that little scoundrel purposefully cause such bodily harm to another...next will be the torture of pets/animals, no doubt he's already done those and is now moving up to the torture of humans!, and that is the groundwork for the sociopathology of future murderers in our animal kingdom genus! It is a proven fact that children who torture/maim/kill animals soon move on to do people next later in life.

If he isn't stopped and/or punished, learn to feel remorse, he will become hardened to any feelings of same and probably become a murderer eventually....or at least a criminal without a conscience, truly not feeling what it is to be sorry or have empathy for anyone or anything. Sad. He should be forced somehow to pay and feel the pain for his actions. I hope that you will soon find a way to deal with this in the justice system or with an eye for an eye....it'd be very hard for me to sit on my hands on this one. If no one in the legal aspect of civility will deal with it. I'd at least demand and obtain, somehow, the young monster's bicycle, the means by which he destroyed your little girl's arm! Ooooh,,,,,this makes me livid!

Sorry for the rant. It is just insane what parents let their kids get away with! Oh, for the spankings and other reprimands we use to inflict to teach children the errors of their ways!