It is with some comfort that I read posts such as these. After having been nurtured by functionally "insane" parents, I was determined not to follow their sick patterns when raising my own little family. When I was 20 yrs. old I was married and had my first girl just shy of my 21st birthday. My husband traveled for a living, sales, the entire week, Mondays thru Fridays. I had worked full time while he attended college and finished his business degree so as soon as he graduated I declared: "my turn!" (if I'd known then what I know now!)
Decided that since I'd always wanted to be a nurse ever since I could remember, I would give it my all. In hindsight, maybe waiting until the girls both entered school would have been a wiser plan!
Second year of nursing school started with levels of anxiety and unbelievable depression of which I was seen by family doc and started on meds for both.
I knew it was probably induced by nursing school in addition to being a full time mom with an absentee husband but couldn't seem to get it under control without meds.
Never attended school, clinicals, etc in an impaired state. Never took the antianxiety med while performing. But over the years, these behaviors have stayed in my life off and on and depending on what antidepressants/antianxiety meds I've taken.
Have met many nurses, cnas, etc. on same class of meds for same reasons,....it's very difficult handling your own stuff plus that of other staff members, family, visitors, patients, doctors, the list is endless of potentially unhealthy interactions while you are attempting to perform a very hazardous job!
I think in general that others should try to be more understanding of what nurses and medical staff in general have to endure every hour of every shift they work.
That said, the same goes for management of personnel trying their level best to survive the front lines of health care while delivering not only safe but excellent nursing care.
I took a break from nursing for a couple of years now to try my hand at a "fun" and "stress free" job just to prove to myself that I could still be functional in society (working, contributing, albeit with minimum wage, not nursing salary).
I was rewarded with living a couple of years relatively stress free (except for being absolutely broke all the time!), with not a lot of depressive feelings. At least not related to work issues.
After having worked as a nurse for twenty plus years before taking this break, I felt that I owed it to not only myself, but my family as well.
It is amazing what outside stressors can do. Not only mental, emotional, but physical problems as well. Was able to come off several meds for physical problems related to stress (blood pressure, pre-diabetic med).
Due to a knee injury suffered at non nursing job, am currently on partial temporary disability, hoping to re-enter the nursing arena by the first of the year after legalities are dealt with and insurance company has been mediated for final settlement.
I'm currently trying spiritual counseling on a biblical level in attempts to control these issues with hope, faith, and courage through God. In addition, am attending one on one and group therapy in the secular world. Still on antidepressant, still have antianxiety med on standby (haven't taken that one in months).
It is sad but true that it is a type of russian roulette in trying, then elminating antidepressants as we either adjust to them, they adjust our brain chemistry, or the side effects just don't agree with our bodies. Wish they had a means of measuring the good old chemicals and their synapsal pathways in our grey matter before spending all that time and money on meds that just don't work!
Sorry, long entry. Just lots to comment on when this subject does pop up!
