So Frustrated I Could Cry..

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Well actually I did cry :-( My Dad's 75th birthday party is coming up in a month, he's been planning this party for the past year. The party falls on my weekend to work (the party is in another state), I submitted my request for time off as soon as my parents had the date set, which was a little over a month ago. About the same time I submitted my request one of the other two NOC nurses put in her resignation. After a couple weeks of not hearing anything back from my scheduler I sent her message letting her know how important it was for me to be off that weekend because it was for my Dad's b-day and since we lost my older brother 6 months ago I couldn't miss a family function now. Didn't hear anything back from her. Than the other NOC nurse put in her notice, leaving me the only full time nurse on that shift :-/. I could to work last night and had a denial note waiting for me. It basically said "due to the current staffing issues I cannot approve your request for time off" I am so angry. There are only two on call nurses I can ask to work for me and one of them has already told me she is busy. The other nurse is my last hope. I don't even know what else to do and I cannot imagine having to tell my parents that I won't be coming.. :-(

When you're sitting by your dad's hospice bed, or in your own OP, do you want to remember the joy of sharing your dad's birthday at this time, or do you want to remember being a "good employee" to a place that clearly doesn't give a crap?

Losing a job would be hard as hell in this economy, but how many times have you seen it said here that there are a thousand ways to be a nurse?

Some things are just more important.

So well said.

The upshot of the whole deal.

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I would make an appointment with your DON, explain the situation, and ask that perhaps you get assistance to find a per diem, another nurse....or can you switch weekends with the other weekend's nurse? If you have to do 5 in a row to have another nurse take the weekend--see if the DON can look at the full schedule, and see what can be done.

If this doesn't work, I would definetely "skype" into the party during the early hours. Or this may sound odd, but can you fly in Friday (and have that night off) spend time Sat, and fly home in time to make an 11pm shift? If it is a 2 hour flight or so, if you leave at 6pm, that may work (if the party is a lunch/afternoon gig). I agree it is taking a chance on delays and such, but no different than if you called in ill....

See what you can do, see what the DON is willing to do. There may be a solution, however, it is an alternative to be on your parent's tablet dishing with everyone at the party from the break room--Then make plans for when they DO decide to hire and train the NOC nurse to take a week to be with them down south.....

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You have to decide if you can live with the consequences of calling in to attend your family gathering. If you can, then I say go for it. Personally, I could not afford to get fired from my current job at this time. Therefore if I was in your shoes, I would have to apologize to my family, and plan to see them either before or after the gathering. My family would understand. Yes, it totally sucks to miss it but some times that is just how it is.

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Call in sick...family first!

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
This is not a" just" a social function. Again, OP is not going to the prom. Her father is aged, they just lost a sibling/ son. This goes way beyond a "function". She had the time off, lost the approval because the facility is in shambles.

She deserves the respect from the facility and OUR respect in order to do this.

I also have 30+ years.. to be honest,I don't recall if I ever called off for such a situation.

YOUR experience does not equate to her current need.

Someone stated he/she didn't know of anyone who didn't call in at some point because of needing to be off but not getting the time. I said I've never done so.

There was no disrespect implied in what I said. In fact, the only disrespect was in your snarky comment to me. It's fine if you disagree with what I said. It's not fine to be so hostile.

I understand that this is an important event for the OP, and I truly hope she gets to go.

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

My thought are pretty simple on the situation.

Is this where you draw your line in the sand? Does this take the biscuit?

Only you can answer that because no one knows the intimate details of your life and situation past and present.

Do what you need to do and deal with what comes from it.

All the best.

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Bad management is eveyrwhere... there is even a prayers for special help section.. "God, I am in need of your guidance and your protection from the evil in my place of employment" lol http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/protection-from-evil-nurse-manager-father-guide-me.html

Sorry. There are other jobs but there is only one family. And it sounds like this is a time your family needs you. CALL IN! Stick it to them!

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Someone stated he/she didn't know of anyone who didn't call in at some point because of needing to be off but not getting the time. I said I've never done so.

There was no disrespect implied in what I said. In fact, the only disrespect was in your snarky comment to me. It's fine if you disagree with what I said. It's not fine to be so hostile.

I understand that this is an important event for the OP, and I truly hope she gets to go.

Whatever some one else said, YOU replied.. you have never called off for a social function.

To me, that minimized the OP's situation.

Interesting that you felt my comment was snark/ hostility aimed at you.

I was merely trying to deflect the many negative comments, as I feel strongly for her in this situation.

If you truly feel "this is an important event, and you hope she gets to attend", that comment did not reflect or support that.

I tried to send as a private message, mailbox issues though.

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Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

I hope you have already asked that nurse or even tried to appeal to a day person. What type of facility are you employed in? Hospital, rehab, LTC? The only time I've been made to stay over was in LTC. Hopefully you will be able to attend. Scheduling should have gotten back to you within 2 weeks. That's usually the policy where I've worked.

Things like just reaffirm my decision to stay PRN. I give them the hours they need. They don't feel bad if I get called off and I don't feel bad saying "no".

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You could always try sweetening the deal with the nurse who is your last chance. Offer to buy her lunch. Offer to work her next two weekends. I remember a nurse who really wanted New Year's Eve off and offered anyone that would switch with her $100. /QUOTE]

OP,

I really feel for you.....this actually happened at my job; one nurse offered another nurse $100 to work for her, and the second nurse accepted :D ! Good luck, I hope it works out for you!

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I certainly understand your frustration, and the pain. A lot of great ideas here, and only you know what is best for YOU.

I do believe that asking for the date to be moved is a great alternative, but it sounds as if the same issue could arise due to staffing issues.

I also think asking another nurse for a 2 or 3 to 1 exchange could work in your favor. She/He works for you so that you can attend your family event, and you offer to trade for two or three days down the road she might need.

I don't know what it is like in your region, but nursing jobs are difficult to come by where I am located. It is up to you to weigh the priorities and options. I wish you the best of luck. It is heartbreaking to be forced to make such difficult decisions. :-(

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Whatever some one else said, YOU replied.. you have never called off for a social function.

To me, that minimized the OP's situation.

Interesting that you felt my comment was snark/ hostility aimed at you.

I was merely trying to deflect the many negative comments, as I feel strongly for her in this situation.

If you truly feel "this is an important event, and you hope she gets to attend", that comment did not reflect or support that.

I tried to send as a private message, mailbox issues though.

That's your interpretation. Others have made comments similar to mine, so I wonder why you didn't feel the need to deflect the many other comments.

In any case, there's nothing wrong with my mailbox.

I'm finished debating this as it is taking away from the OP's thread.

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