So Frustrated I Could Cry..

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Well actually I did cry :-( My Dad's 75th birthday party is coming up in a month, he's been planning this party for the past year. The party falls on my weekend to work (the party is in another state), I submitted my request for time off as soon as my parents had the date set, which was a little over a month ago. About the same time I submitted my request one of the other two NOC nurses put in her resignation. After a couple weeks of not hearing anything back from my scheduler I sent her message letting her know how important it was for me to be off that weekend because it was for my Dad's b-day and since we lost my older brother 6 months ago I couldn't miss a family function now. Didn't hear anything back from her. Than the other NOC nurse put in her notice, leaving me the only full time nurse on that shift :-/. I could to work last night and had a denial note waiting for me. It basically said "due to the current staffing issues I cannot approve your request for time off" I am so angry. There are only two on call nurses I can ask to work for me and one of them has already told me she is busy. The other nurse is my last hope. I don't even know what else to do and I cannot imagine having to tell my parents that I won't be coming.. :-(

Specializes in corrections and LTC.

The bad thing is that even if her parents switched the party there is no guaranteeing you would get that time off either.

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Noted, Aurora77. I was afraid someone might think I meant my comments as a direct reflection on theirs. Thank you for clarifying.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Check your policy at work before just calling in on that weekend. I know our policy is that if you call in sick on a day you were denied off, it's a write up.

I realize it feels unfair to be denied the time off, as you've expressed how important it is to you. But I guess I've been doing this long enough to understand the department's needs are considered first when it comes to scheduling. Yes it sucks. I know.

I would still call off, write up or not! Besides if they are already down 2 nurses, they can't really fire you can they? Also think about getting a different job when you get back. I think it is safer to just call in sick in the first place, rather than ask for off. How would they know otherwise.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
If there is a day I need off, that's so important to me I'd risk my job, nobody at work knows about it. I don't ask to swap, or request that day from my boss.

That way if I absolutely have to, I can call in sick, and nobody has to know I'm not.

The above plan is only reserved for those days being off is nonnegotiable.

When I was younger I would have worked and been miserable.

With less time in front of me, than behind me, my priorities are a little different. I'd call in and take the hit, whatever the boss decided that was.

Tell your dad happy birthday, and eat a piece of cake for me.

I agree 100% with your post!

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Specializes in Critical care.

Call in, they would probably cancel you in a minute if they wanted.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

I've been a nurse for ~30y, and I've never called off so I could attend a social function. Never. Ever.

IN my view what the OP has described is not a social function as much as it is an important family gathering at a sensitive time.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
IN my view what the OP has described is not a social function as much as it is an important family gathering at a sensitive time.

OK, since you and a few others have a problem with my wording, let me rephrase it: I have never called off if I wasn't ill or it wasn't a true emergency. That's just me. Each of us have to live with our own conscience, and we each have to deal with the consequences of our actions.

​And as I said previously, I hope the OP is able to work things out so she can attend.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

IN my view the request was made with plenty of advance notice.

If the facility does not have enough staff to accomodate a reasonable request for paid time off then they should obtain some relief using travel nurses or similar. Failure to do so will almost guarantee they will be short another nurse in the near future.

But hey, fewer RNs means more $$ in the bank, right?

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.

Flame me if you must but I don't think the party is worth putting your job at risk. I know it's important for OP to see her family, and going to the party would have been great, but what's stopping her from going the weekend before? It's not like there is only one chance for her to see her family. I say go down the weekend before, have more one on one time and enjoy yourself. You'll miss the party but you won't miss spending time with your parents, and that's the important part.

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Specializes in Maternity.

I just keep thinking... Do we live to work? Or do we work to live? Only the OP can decide this for herself. We can offer all kinds of opinions but ultimately the OP knows her own heart and if this is more important than her current employment. I say this from experience, I chose to work out of guilt and did not see my Dad when I felt deep down that I should have. He died the week after my visit would have been. He wad not expected to die but had been slowly declining. Every time I think about it I get teary. And you know what? I don't even work at the same place anymore....but I still regret missing the opportunity to be with my dad every day.

To the OP, do what you feel deep down in your heart. What can you live with? Only you know the intimate details of your family life. If you follow your heart, you won't go wrong.

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A number of years ago, I had a similar situation come up. When my request was denied, I put in my two weeks notice. I ended up getting my requested time off.

But, this was when there were plenty of nursing jobs and the economy was great.

I'm sure this tactic would backfire nowadays.

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I know your dad's birthday is very special to you, and I am so sorry that you are in a tough situation. If it is impossible to get that specific "party" day off, and you absolutely have to keep this job, how about this:

Plan something close to the date of his birthday, and make it a Daughter and Father, alone, high quality time day? If he likes baseball, take him to a game, just the two of you. Have dinner. Go to his favorite spots, or take him fishing. You could really make it a marvelous day for both of you without the stress and pressure of work. Yes, you would still miss the 'party' and being around other family, but maybe your dad would appreciate just as much being with only YOU?

Just a suggestion to maybe consider. There are lots of posts, so I apologize if this idea has already been mentioned. Just popped into my head...

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