So Frustrated I Could Cry..

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Well actually I did cry :-( My Dad's 75th birthday party is coming up in a month, he's been planning this party for the past year. The party falls on my weekend to work (the party is in another state), I submitted my request for time off as soon as my parents had the date set, which was a little over a month ago. About the same time I submitted my request one of the other two NOC nurses put in her resignation. After a couple weeks of not hearing anything back from my scheduler I sent her message letting her know how important it was for me to be off that weekend because it was for my Dad's b-day and since we lost my older brother 6 months ago I couldn't miss a family function now. Didn't hear anything back from her. Than the other NOC nurse put in her notice, leaving me the only full time nurse on that shift :-/. I could to work last night and had a denial note waiting for me. It basically said "due to the current staffing issues I cannot approve your request for time off" I am so angry. There are only two on call nurses I can ask to work for me and one of them has already told me she is busy. The other nurse is my last hope. I don't even know what else to do and I cannot imagine having to tell my parents that I won't be coming.. :-(

monkeyhq, this is an excellent idea! I know my dad would have loved your idea. He would never have wanted me to jeopardize my work or to do something I felt was shady. I do think it's important to celebrate occasions with our parents; we'll probably live a long time without them.

You bring up a good point...integrity. My father would never want me to do anything to lose my job, or inconvenience a lot of other people. I am so lucky to have an amazing father that I love very much. He taught me right from wrong not through mere instruction, but by living his beliefs in family, education, hard work, service, honor, integrity, and honesty. I don't need a party to celebrate my dad. My dad is celebrated everyday through me. And when I get to spend quality time with him--doing anything--it is better than any family get-together.

We put new hardwood in my kitchen one year, just him and me. It is one of the top ten days of my life because we had isolation with one another. There was no 'you are doing it the wrong way' from my mother, and my husband and children weren't in the way. We laughed and talked and giggled and worked together. When the day was done and we saw my mother pull up, my dad said "she is going to come in here and tell us how we did it wrong"...and of course, she had to point out a few things, but we didn't care. We were laughing so hard we were breathless.

These are the moments to treasure, and you can make them anytime you see fit. And I am sure your Daddy will cherish just YOU.

Something I have not seen mentioned (unless I missed it), is the impact leaving/calling in sick/etc. would have on patients. Ultimately, it will be the patients that suffer the most, not your employer. You may have crappy management, but your patients are still there, and they still need nursing care. Although you are not responsible for the overall shortage of care providers, your willful sudden absence may cause significant delays in care. That isn't fair to the patients/residents, in my opinion. If you decide to leave, I hope you do not do it on a days' notice, but with a sufficient enough time for others to assume the care of the patients that will be affected. That integrity matters.

And it sucks to be put in any position where you have to make such difficult choices.

(sorry for the long winded note...thought it was important to share)

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Specializes in hospice.
So it's ok to fake call out when something better comes along? If it was an emerge that would be one thing but it's a party. And the OP can hopefully see her parents beforehand. Unfortunately missing parties and holidays goes hand in hand with a 24 hour business.

Wow, really? This isn't a bar weekend with her buddies, it's her father's 75th birthday, for which she asked for time off well in advance and got screwed by her manager. In your next post you refer to the floor having lost two nurses....yeah this BS is WHY.

People shouldn't frivolously call off and should have a good work ethic and be considerate of their co-workers. But they also aren't slaves owned by their workplaces, and when said workplace makes it clear that they regard you that way, act accordingly. Slaves rebel. Always.

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

The patients are the responsibility of the agency/facility.

The facility has an obligation to hire, train, and maintain enough professional staff to safely care for their patients.

The professional staff are entitled to time off when it is requested according to their policy.

The facility is demonstrating in this current moment one of the reasons that they are having a difficult time maintaining professional staff; because they don't treat them with respect and honor their personal needs.

Don't guilt the staff nurse with the plight of the patients who are in that facility. That is obviously way above her pay grade, she can't even get a weekend off.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
Wow, really? This isn't a bar weekend with her buddies, it's her father's 75th birthday, for which she asked for time off well in advance and got screwed by her manager. In your next post you refer to the floor having lost two nurses....yeah this BS is WHY.

People shouldn't frivolously call off and should have a good work ethic and be considerate of their co-workers. But they also aren't slaves owned by their workplaces, and when said workplace makes it clear that they regard you that way, act accordingly. Slaves rebel. Always.

Having to work the schedule you agreed to when hired does not make you a slave. And no it's not a bar party, it's a birthday party, not something I'd be willing to risk my job over. I would go and see my family the week before if spending time with them was so important.

Like I've said, if it was an emergency situation that would be different, but it's not. It's a party.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Wow, really? This isn't a bar weekend with her buddies, it's her father's 75th birthday, for which she asked for time off well in advance and got screwed by her manager. In your next post you refer to the floor having lost two nurses....yeah this BS is WHY.

People shouldn't frivolously call off and should have a good work ethic and be considerate of their co-workers. But they also aren't slaves owned by their workplaces, and when said workplace makes it clear that they regard you that way, act accordingly. Slaves rebel. Always.

All histrionics aside, slaves don't get paid, nor do they get benefits. The OP is free to call off, however there may be consequences for doing so. She has to decide if risking her job is worth the benefit, and only she can decide.

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Specializes in hospice.

This will be my last post on this thread. There are some people commenting who clearly don't understand what it means to be facing the approaching loss of a parent, or the actual loss of close family members.

Staking your entire identity and worth on your job is a mistake, but some people only learn that by living through something like what the OP is going through.

Respect for employers is a two way street. When employers have no respect for their employees, as is clearly the case here, they end up with people quitting and the rest looking to follow.

OP, I hope you get to go to the party or come up with an alternate solution that brings you peace. And look for another job. Seriously.

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Don't guilt the staff nurse with the plight of the patients who are in that facility. That is obviously way above her pay grade, she can't even get a weekend off.

I believe I stated my opinion, and suggested she at least give timely notice, rather than springing it upon everyone. That isn't a guilt trip. I went in to nursing to care for patients, and I took an oath to care for my patients.

Even if my employer lacks integrity and refuses to show me respect and honor, it doesn't mean I should show them up by calling off with no timely notice. My personal values dictate that I give appropriate notice that I quit, or that I appeal the refusal of my vacation request to the appropriate HR representative or my union. The last thing I would do, if it were entirely avoidable, is play a part in the delay of care to my patients.

There are other solutions than going nuclear.

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
This will be my last post on this thread. There are some people commenting who clearly don't understand what it means to be facing the approaching loss of a parent, or the actual loss of close family members.

Staking your entire identity and worth on your job is a mistake, but some people only learn that by living through something like what the OP is going through.

Respect for employers is a two way street. When employers have no respect for their employees, as is clearly the case here, they end up with people quitting and the rest looking to follow.

OP, I hope you get to go to the party or come up with an alternate solution that brings you peace. And look for another job. Seriously.

And there are people making assumptions. I lost my mom when I was 24 and she was 56 so I get it, more than a lot of people here.

It's just a party. If she wants to spend more time with her parents, nothing is stopping her. To hang it all on the party is bs.

Yes it bites when we don't get time off, but that's just how it rolls sometime. You can spend time with your family outside of special days.

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Specializes in Maternity.

Had the OP been back? Or did we scare her off with all of our "advice". Lol.

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In this case, I would still go see my dad. He's 75 and you will never replace him...

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Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
In this case, I would still go see my dad. He's 75 and you will never replace him...

No one said she couldn't see him, just not that specific weekend.

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this is sort of off topic but...one of my co-workers is having cosmetic surgery. Her FMLA was denied since it wasn't a necessary surgery, (and she is ok with that) but hospital policy is that LOAs are at the discretion of the manager. So 6 months ago she asked our manager when it would be ok to take off for the surgery. Manager told her September. So she scheduled and paid for said surgery and now management is telling her no. Is that ok too? My dad has a saying "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part". Perhaps more management (in general) needs to adopt this mantra. OK'ing something 6 months in advance and then going back on that is NOT ok.

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