So Frustrated I Could Cry..

Published

Well actually I did cry :-( My Dad's 75th birthday party is coming up in a month, he's been planning this party for the past year. The party falls on my weekend to work (the party is in another state), I submitted my request for time off as soon as my parents had the date set, which was a little over a month ago. About the same time I submitted my request one of the other two NOC nurses put in her resignation. After a couple weeks of not hearing anything back from my scheduler I sent her message letting her know how important it was for me to be off that weekend because it was for my Dad's b-day and since we lost my older brother 6 months ago I couldn't miss a family function now. Didn't hear anything back from her. Than the other NOC nurse put in her notice, leaving me the only full time nurse on that shift :-/. I could to work last night and had a denial note waiting for me. It basically said "due to the current staffing issues I cannot approve your request for time off" I am so angry. There are only two on call nurses I can ask to work for me and one of them has already told me she is busy. The other nurse is my last hope. I don't even know what else to do and I cannot imagine having to tell my parents that I won't be coming.. :-(

Specializes in Critical Care.
I believe I stated my opinion, and suggested she at least give timely notice, rather than springing it upon everyone. That isn't a guilt trip. I went in to nursing to care for patients, and I took an oath to care for my patients.

Even if my employer lacks integrity and refuses to show me respect and honor, it doesn't mean I should show them up by calling off with no timely notice. My personal values dictate that I give appropriate notice that I quit, or that I appeal the refusal of my vacation request to the appropriate HR representative or my union. The last thing I would do, if it were entirely avoidable, is play a part in the delay of care to my patients.

There are other solutions than going nuclear.

You're being overly dramatic. One can call off sick in a timely fashion, it is not springing it on anyone. The hospital is supposed to be able to staff understanding there will be sick calls and emergencies. That is what float pool or agency are for!

Management makes calling in sick the easiest and most convenient way to deal with this situation when they choose to deny a reasonable request. In the future I wouldn't even ask for off just call in whether as a sick day, absent or personal day! Most places have done away with sick pay anyway and it's all PTO so it's your choice how to use it. Where I work you practically have to ask off a year in advance to get time off because they limit the number of employees so much! The only ones that don't have that problem are on medical or family leave or maternity leave.

I needed time off for an important family event on a weekend I had to work so I had to take vacation for those weeks a year in advance to make sure I would be able to attend. It was mandatory that I be there, not some run of the mill party!

There is such pressure to be the perfect worker, but management doesn't play by the same rules! There are a couple really good workers, absolutely the best, attitude, work ethic, personality, integrity and yet they both got docked on their eval over some minor things such as forgetting to punch in or not filling out the family medical leave paperwork correctly or missing staff meetings which were supposed to be voluntary anyway which resulted in them not getting a good raise! If anyone should have gotten an excellent review and raise it should have been them and they needed the money a lot more than us nurses do. Where is the compassion and recognition of really good workers. Where I work the nurses get all the attention and the support staff are forgotten, even though they don't make what I would consider a living wage! They need a good raise more than I do and they deserved it! But management didn't feel the same I don't know why! Then they wonder why there is turnover!

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Specializes in Critical Care.
What a tough situation. That being said, check the institutions rules on call outs. If we call off on a day we requested we are called to HR. They can fire us. Usually it is a write up, but they can terminate us. And if you call out do not post anything on social media or allow people to tag you. If we call out and you show up at a party, etc, immediate termination.

Bribe that other girl for the weekend...work extra weekends, offer up a holiday, if you really want it, sweeten the deal!

Precisely why it is smarter and safer to just call off sick without asking in the first place! It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. I know this offends the perfect workers filled with pride and integrity, but it works for us realists, living in the real world!

I remember one nurse had an approved vacation with plane tickets and the manager at that time told her the vacation was being rescinded due to staff quitting. She didn't back down and took her vacation. She didn't get fired either, but left soon after that for a better job. Good for her for standing up for herself! I don't know if I would have been so bold back then, but that is an example of the ridiculous way workers are sometimes treated with no consideration of our personal needs because the hospital is more important!

When they deny a vacation it is for their convenience, but if it were a family or medical leave situation they would be forced to accept it and find another way to staff the joint! They have plenty of options, someone shouldn't feel guilty for needing time off for a personal reason!

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No one said she couldn't see him, just not that specific weekend.

I understand that. Some people put a high value on celebrations and the memories that go along with them. It sounds like that's the case here, and it's the big 75. Just my humble opinion.

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Seriously has anyone heard from the OP?

Maybe she went to the party...;)

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She's already said she won't call in (in this second post).

No where did she say she was looking for advice on what to do.

I wouldn't call in. If I did one of the PM nurses would be mandated to stay over to cover my shift, cause that's how they do things there. I wouldn't want to be mandated so I'm not going to do that to someone else either. Besides that the policy is if you call in on a weekend you are automatically scheduled for the next weekend and that would put me on a really long stretch.

My parents can't change the date, they spend Oct-May down south and will be leaving that next week. The weekend before was unavailable for whatever reason.

With the lack of nurses my options to trade shifts is limited, and my employer is taking their sweet time on orientating the newly hired NOC nurse. My only hope is the one on call nurse. Or going to my DON and begging her for assistance in finding a replacement.

And believe me, I'm hunting for a new job. It angers me that she waited for over a month to deny my request and couldn't so much as apologize even after I explained the importance of the request. I know she wouldn't dream of missing her dad's party had the shoe been on the other foot...

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I'm still here, sorry! I tend to drop off the face of the earth when I'm in the middle of my "stretch" working full time NOCs does that to me! I thank everyone for the suggestions and words of encouragement. Haven't gotten the weekend covered yet, thought I did.. The newly hired NOC nurse (who just started orientation) asked me if I would be willing to switch a day with her so she could attend a wedding the weekend after my Dad's party, I said "sure!!! I'd love to trade Sat for Sat" well than last night she came in and said she didn't realize that she already had plans for the Sat I need off... Grrrr...

I feel like I need to address the "grow up" and "it's just a party" comments... I have been a bedside nurse for over 12 years, I have missed many functions from weddings to graduation parties to birthday parties without so much as a gripe or complaint when I was unable to take time off. And have never even requested time off on my holidays to work! I rarely call in, only do so if I am really really sick. Right now my family is still very much in the stages of grieving the loss of my brother and our time spent together as a family is what gets us through. When you have walked in my shoes THAN you can tell me to "grow up"! As for the "it's just a party" comments please refer to my last couple sentences, my Dad's party is far more than just that, it's a time for a heartbroken family to be together again before the miles separate us all again. Furthermore these "firsts" (birthdays, holidays, ect) are especially hard on my parents who were not there to day goodbye when my brother died, they were stuck in a snowstorm in Oklahoma trying to make it back in time. To celebrate these events without their eldest son (who was only 43) for the first time is especially hard but yet necessary for their healing as well as my sister's, other brother's, sis-in-law, and nieces and nephews as well as mine. 8 months ago it was "just a party" it's so much more now.

And to rub a little salt in my wound I saw that one of the PM nurses was granted time off for this past weekend, one of the day nurses pulled a double both Sat and today to cover it! Granted, different shift, but it sucks I'm told "no" due to staffing and she's granted an entire weekend off while staffing is at it's worst! Call me whiny but why should I have to suffer, it's not my fault that multiple nurses left at the same time?!

i have messages out to the on call nurse as well as one other on call nurse who I didn't realize until last night will work nocs on occasion, hoping like no other than one of them comes through for me.

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.
Whether or not 2 nurses quit ( gee, I wonder why) has no bearing on your vacation. Are you never to take time off until they find and train new nurses? You've earned the time and it is yours to take.

Call in sick ,or sick and tired, or sick of the bs.

Yup, this is what I'd do! I put in a request for the Friday night off before my sons 10th birthday party that we were hosting at a local indoor water park with 9 of his friends. So what does the scheduler do? Schedules me a 12 hr night shift!! Guess who called in sick that night??

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Specializes in Maternity.
I'm still here, sorry! I tend to drop off the face of the earth when I'm in the middle of my "stretch" working full time NOCs does that to me! I thank everyone for the suggestions and words of encouragement. Haven't gotten the weekend covered yet, thought I did.. The newly hired NOC nurse (who just started orientation) asked me if I would be willing to switch a day with her so she could attend a wedding the weekend after my Dad's party, I said "sure!!! I'd love to trade Sat for Sat" well than last night she came in and said she didn't realize that she already had plans for the Sat I need off... Grrrr...

I feel like I need to address the "grow up" and "it's just a party" comments... I have been a bedside nurse for over 12 years, I have missed many functions from weddings to graduation parties to birthday parties without so much as a gripe or complaint when I was unable to take time off. And have never even requested time off on my holidays to work! I rarely call in, only do so if I am really really sick. Right now my family is still very much in the stages of grieving the loss of my brother and our time spent together as a family is what gets us through. When you have walked in my shoes THAN you can tell me to "grow up"! As for the "it's just a party" comments please refer to my last couple sentences, my Dad's party is far more than just that, it's a time for a heartbroken family to be together again before the miles separate us all again. Furthermore these "firsts" (birthdays, holidays, ect) are especially hard on my parents who were not there to day goodbye when my brother died, they were stuck in a snowstorm in Oklahoma trying to make it back in time. To celebrate these events without their eldest son (who was only 43) for the first time is especially hard but yet necessary for their healing as well as my sister's, other brother's, sis-in-law, and nieces and nephews as well as mine. 8 months ago it was "just a party" it's so much more now.

And to rub a little salt in my wound I saw that one of the PM nurses was granted time off for this past weekend, one of the day nurses pulled a double both Sat and today to cover it! Granted, different shift, but it sucks I'm told "no" due to staffing and she's granted an entire weekend off while staffing is at it's worst! Call me whiny but why should I have to suffer, it's not my fault that multiple nurses left at the same time?!

i have messages out to the on call nurse as well as one other on call nurse who I didn't realize until last night will work nocs on occasion, hoping like no other than one of them comes through for me.

I'm so glad you came back. Most of us here at AN understand your situation perfectly. I'm hoping to hear that you were able to get your shift covered. My heart goes out to you. From your posting, you appear to be a hard working, level headed person. The "grow up" comments etc. we're sooo out of line. You really don't need to defend or explain yourself to anybody. Keep us posted and we are pulling for you!!!!

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Yup, this is what I'd do! I put in a request for the Friday night off before my sons 10th birthday party that we were hosting at a local indoor water park with 9 of his friends. So what does the scheduler do? Schedules me a 12 hr night shift!! Guess who called in sick that night??

It serves them right when they do something like that.

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Glad you came back, and I am pulling for you!

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

And I put in my request in FEBRUARY for an April party! I'd say two and a half months is PLENTY of notice. We don't have to schedule that a year in advance. I had to give a $100 deposit to the water park the DAY I booked the party in February which was non refundable. EVERYONE at work KNOWS I take a few days off around my son's birthday since he's my ONLY CHILD (I went thru years of infertility and had a devastating miscarriage in 2009 while working there) I always throw him a huge party. This was actually his first Friends' party we'd had for him. At the end of April in my neck of the woods, it's still pretty chilly so anything outdoors is a no-go! Now, I KNOW the scheduler didn't FORGET because I messaged her two weeks prior to the schedule being released (she's notorious for putting it out less than a week before it's due to START) and was told, no worries, you've got it off!

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It just keeps getting better... Just checked the schedule... The new nurse was given the off for the Sat she asked me to work!!!! She was originally scheduled and is off orientation two weeks before that. She told me when she asked if I would work it that she never told them she needed off that night when she was interviewed. I'm denied time off, which I requested way back at the beginning of July d/t "staffing issues" but they then give her that following Sat off, the staffing is exactly the same that weekend!!! Now I am beyond irate!

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