So Frustrated I Could Cry..

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Well actually I did cry :-( My Dad's 75th birthday party is coming up in a month, he's been planning this party for the past year. The party falls on my weekend to work (the party is in another state), I submitted my request for time off as soon as my parents had the date set, which was a little over a month ago. About the same time I submitted my request one of the other two NOC nurses put in her resignation. After a couple weeks of not hearing anything back from my scheduler I sent her message letting her know how important it was for me to be off that weekend because it was for my Dad's b-day and since we lost my older brother 6 months ago I couldn't miss a family function now. Didn't hear anything back from her. Than the other NOC nurse put in her notice, leaving me the only full time nurse on that shift :-/. I could to work last night and had a denial note waiting for me. It basically said "due to the current staffing issues I cannot approve your request for time off" I am so angry. There are only two on call nurses I can ask to work for me and one of them has already told me she is busy. The other nurse is my last hope. I don't even know what else to do and I cannot imagine having to tell my parents that I won't be coming.. :-(

Unfortunately, you are in one of several professions (police, firefighters, nurses, others) that require 24-hour coverage or people literally die. You knew this when you signed up. It was confirmed with you didn't get every holiday off that you wanted.

Grow up and spend time with your parents on another weekend. They will be glad to see you regardless if it's at a certain date or not. The Skype idea or a phone call is a good one if you feel the need to make your presence felt on that day.

I know this sounds harsh but that's why you are in bedside nursing. If the lack of flexibility and having to work a sucky schedule doesn't agree with you, find a new type of nursing position. Perhaps a dr's office. But don't screw over your employer/fellow employees in the process by calling out, or the bad reference (and bad karma) will follow you.

Meantime, beg and bribe the hell out of that other nurse to switch with you. You'd be surprised, an opposite shift nurse might do it if you ask nicely enough and offer to sweeten the deal.

At no time did I hear the OP complaining about any other weekend she would have to work. Telling someone who lost a brother 6 months ago to "grow up" during an emotional time is really really wrong. The expectation when she put the request in, is that it wouldn't be a problem - instead scheduling sat on it for a month. Sounds like our management.

OP - I hope they can work something out. It really really stinks that you can't be accommodated.

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Specializes in Oncology.

I used to really worry about screwing over my coworkers. Then I realized most of them couldn't care less about screwing over me.

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Specializes in hospice.

And believe me, I'm hunting for a new job. It angers me that she waited for over a month to deny my request and couldn't so much as apologize even after I explained the importance of the request. I know she wouldn't dream of missing her dad's party had the shoe been on the other foot...

That is the real problem. As I said before, you are being treated like a thing - an asset for their use. Why should you treat your employer any differently? Yes, we all know that we are signing up to work in a 24x7 field, but waiting a month to deny a reasonable request for time off is disrespectful, and more than a little bit shady. People who are treated with respect respond with integrity. People who are treated otherwise - don't.

You have 4 weeks before the party, don't you? That's more than enough notice to give your current employer. If they want to rehire you on your return - fine. If not, there are other jobs out there.

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Unfortunately, you are in one of several professions (police, firefighters, nurses, others) that require 24-hour coverage or people literally die. You knew this when you signed up. It was confirmed with you didn't get every holiday off that you wanted.

Grow up and spend time with your parents on another weekend. They will be glad to see you regardless if it's at a certain date or not. The Skype idea or a phone call is a good one if you feel the need to make your presence felt on that day.

I know this sounds harsh but that's why you are in bedside nursing. If the lack of flexibility and having to work a sucky schedule doesn't agree with you, find a new type of nursing position. Perhaps a dr's office. But don't screw over your employer/fellow employees in the process by calling out, or the bad reference (and bad karma) will follow you.

Meantime, beg and bribe the hell out of that other nurse to switch with you. You'd be surprised, an opposite shift nurse might do it if you ask nicely enough and offer to sweeten the deal.

Despite the fact that we are essential personnel, it does not give our employer the right to walk all over us. OP had the time off, it was revoked when 2 nurses quit.

Your expression " grow up " is too disrespectful for words. She has a father of advanced age and just lost a brother. This is a significant event , she has earned the time off to attend . We are not talking about going to the prom. Her employer should show her some respect and come up with a solution instead of retracting the vacation time.... because 2 other nurses got smart and left.

You are the one that needs to grow up.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
LadyFree, you know I love your posts, but I just can't agree with this ;). No good can come from lying and taking off sick on that weekend. Mgmt. knows about the date of this party, so calling off sick would raise eyebrows and potentially jeopardize the OP's job. Honesty is the best policy, even if it means we don't always get what we want.

OP, I would continue to look for other options. Can one of the nurses who works the opposite shift from you swap shifts so you can go to the party?

No worries OCRN63.

We can agree to disagree. :yes:

I would keep searching myself; however after all possibilities have been exhausted, I will call off.

I have resolved a long time ago that I have to create my own work/balance; even at the risk of my employment; sometimes Carpe diem may be stronger some days than others-today it must be at an all-time high. ;)

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
As they have just lost 2 nurses, it would be common sense to try to accommodate you.

One thing I have noticed--at some places when it comes to scheduling and staffing, common sense does not apply. Losing 2 nurses at one basically indicates that there is some sort of a problem. However, many places find it "better" to stick by rigid scheduling guidelines rather than work with employees to find a solution that is best for everyone--such a solution is usually there if you are willing to take the time to look for it.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Voice of experience. I challenge any 10+ year bedside care nurse to deny this has either happened or at least been seriously considered.

Also, if such a thing were to happen (God forbid!), no shared FB postings or stories of dad's great party.

I've been a nurse for ~30y, and I've never called off so I could attend a social function. Never. Ever.

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
Unfortunately, you are in one of several professions (police, firefighters, nurses, others) that require 24-hour coverage or people literally die. You knew this when you signed up. It was confirmed with you didn't get every holiday off that you wanted.

I respectfully disagree, at least in part, with this. We all know that nurses, physicians, police, etc. are essential personnel. True, we knew when we signed up that we would have to work weekends, holidays, off shifts, etc. However, that does not mean that once in a while we shouldn't be able to have off for a weekend or holiday that we were designated to work. It is true that the given time has to be covered--and it is foolish to think that, as a nurse, you will always get the a weekend off when you want one. My impression (and I could be very wrong) is that the OP does not make a bunch of ridiculous requests to be off for her designated weekends.

And don't even get me started on the "grow up" comment. The only thing I will say is that I'm sure you have requested a day off for a reason someone else might not think is important.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Professionally speaking, I don't think that it would be appropriate to call in. As many have stated already, it will be obvious to management what happened.

If your family can move the party date then that would be fantastic.

If you can bribe this other nurse into working for you, that would be great also.

That being said... I am firm that family comes first. Especially if it's your elderly father, and you lost a brother this year. Personally... I would call in. I would be prepared to accept any repercussions from that without complaining. I can handle a write up.

If you call off, be ready for consequences. You could get fired. Hopefully attending the event outweighs the consequences.

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Specializes in Maternity.

Grow up? Really, contrary to popular belief, nurses are not indentured servants. I know, I know we often feel that way however, unhappy nurses will eventually cost more than having a PRN or agency nurse to cover things like this. I'm sure the revolving door the OP has mentioned is a good example. But wait, what am I saying....this is management and they are not know for common sense...

I hope you get to go.... I really do.

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I've been a nurse for ~30y, and I've never called off so I could attend a social function. Never. Ever.

This is not a" just" a social function. Again, OP is not going to the prom. Her father is aged, they just lost a sibling/ son. This goes way beyond a "function". She had the time off, lost the approval because the facility is in shambles.

She deserves the respect from the facility and OUR respect in order to do this.

I also have 30+ years.. to be honest,I don't recall if I ever called off for such a situation.

YOUR experience does not equate to her current need.

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Specializes in hospice.

When you're sitting by your dad's hospice bed, or in your own OP, do you want to remember the joy of sharing your dad's birthday at this time, or do you want to remember being a "good employee" to a place that clearly doesn't give a crap?

Losing a job would be hard as hell in this economy, but how many times have you seen it said here that there are a thousand ways to be a nurse?

Some things are just more important.

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