I am in a study group with 2 friends I have known and taken classes with for over a year. The 3 of us are all A/B students, come prepared, text each other during the week if we are confused about something, etc. We've become a tight knit group because we know we help instead of hindering.
There is a student who is currently failing A&P 2 who wants to join our study group. All 3 of us are leery about it. She comes to class late, she asks us to send her recordings, she looks at my notes everyday. If she put forth the effort herself we wouldn't mind trying to help her, but we feel like she just wants to ride our backs and we're not cool with that.
Our school has a science resource center she can go to, we have free one on one tutors, and the library has models she can check out for 2 hours at a time to study. There are ways for her to help herself before we help her.
I've worked my butt off to get where I am. I should be hearing if I am accepted to my program in 3 weeks. I am not going to get dragged down by someone who can't do the work themselves.
She's not going into nursing, she's taking her pre-reqs and transferring to a PT program. She's an xray tech right now and talks crap about the nurses at the place she works everyday. 😡
I feel like a lot of people are not reading this particular post. The student in question is not even trying to get into a nursing program (and is saying rude things about nurses) - and yet some people are saying Ood lacks compassion if she doesn't bend over backwards to help the student?
I feel like a lot of people are not reading this particular post. The student in question is not even trying to get into a nursing program (and is saying rude things about nurses) - and yet some people are saying Ood lacks compassion if she doesn't bend over backwards to help the student?
Right. This is what I wanted to respond to as well. She's not even going in to nursing.
Ood, you are a better person than me for even considering this.
I'll agree with OCNRN63. Don't bother and I hope you don't feel badly saying Sorry. No.
This happened to me during my Chemistry class last year. This girl never did her homework, did not study, didn't even show up to class sometimes. She came up to me one day and asked me to tutor her. I made a list of everything I wanted her to research first (by mid-semester, she still didn't know how to read the Periodic Table). I told her that she needed to put forth an effort with the basics over the weekend, and then I would help her. Well, she never did and never asked for help again. I will help someone who asks for help, but I will not do their work for them. I want to see what they've attempted first.
So in summary, you are far from horrible. You're taking tough courses and you have a family to care for. You simply don't have time for laziness.
I never thought I was going to get beat the this "you're not compassionate enough to be a nurse if you don't want to risk your own grade and time to help someone" stick while I was gone, you know, studying instead of spending time with my husband I see ONCE EVERY 2 MONTHS.
I guess I'll never make it as a nurse, since I'm having this internal struggle about helping someone I like as a person, but (yes) not wanting to drag myself down. God, where ever will I get my compassion from?
I called her on THURSDAY and asked her to write out the definitions of *gasp* fifteen words we need to know for this chapter and bring them in on Wednesday at what time we meet. We shall see. (That's 6 days to do 15 words folks. 3 words a day with a day off.)
I called her on THURSDAY and asked her to write out the definitions of *gasp* fifteen words we need to know for this chapter and bring them in on Wednesday at what time we meet. We shall see. (That's 6 days to do 15 words folks. 3 words a day with a day off.)
Yeesh, that's a lot more lenient and forgiving than I would have been. I would have asked her to write out the key concepts, too. But in her own words! I know, I know. Where's my compassion?
If the person generally wants help of course I would. I am an A student, although currently with a high B in A&P which is still well above the class average of a 71, and I am in a 3-4 person study group. Most in the group are low B, and a C student. One student has personal issues at home, so her attendance is lacking and received an F on the last exam. I would not hesitate to help her, or anyone else that wants help, we are all in the same boat, just plowing ahead trying to become nurses and if someone needs more help than others then I would help them as much as I could.
If the person generally wants help of course I would. I am an A student, although currently with a high B in A&P which is still well above the class average of a 71, and I am in a 3-4 person study group. Most in the group are low B, and a C student. One student has personal issues at home, so her attendance is lacking and received an F on the last exam. I would not hesitate to help her, or anyone else that wants help, we are all in the same boat, just plowing ahead trying to become nurses and if someone needs more help than others then I would help them as much as I could.
I don't have a problem with this. You want to help, that's cool. I don't think it's obligatory, nor that anyone who doesn't want to sacrifice their time for another student ought to be talked down to (that's not a criticism of you, I'm just saying it out loud). It's a choice we each make, and recognizing your own limits is important. Being a martyr will burn you out. Knowing when is the right time to say no is what allows you whatever downtime is necessary for you to be able to come back, not just as a student, but in whatever you do.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
WOW!
I never thought I was going to get beat the this "you're not compassionate enough to be a nurse if you don't want to risk your own grade and time to help someone" stick while I was gone, you know, studying instead of spending time with my husband I see ONCE EVERY 2 MONTHS.
I guess I'll never make it as a nurse, since I'm having this internal struggle about helping someone I like as a person, but (yes) not wanting to drag myself down. God, where ever will I get my compassion from?
I called her on THURSDAY and asked her to write out the definitions of *gasp* fifteen words we need to know for this chapter and bring them in on Wednesday at what time we meet. We shall see. (That's 6 days to do 15 words folks. 3 words a day with a day off.)
15 words is nothing, very generous of you to let her in for that. I'm dying to know how it goes! Did she blow it or did she come through? Place yer bets folks it's Wednesday!
Help everyone. Five years after school is done, you may just run into that person again....as you interview with the "management" team for a new position. Happened to me.
Help everyone. Five years after school is done, you may just run into that person again....as you interview with the "management" team for a new position. Happened to me.
Again - the student in question is not even attempting to enter a nursing program. She wants to be a PT and OP told us the student has made disparaging remarks about nurses. Not the type of person I would feel compelled to help.
Did you read the comment above yours? The student is not applying to a nursing program and OP's desire to be a nurse has no bearing on whether or not she chooses to assist this student.
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Nurse Leigh
1,149 Posts
I feel like a lot of people are not reading this particular post. The student in question is not even trying to get into a nursing program (and is saying rude things about nurses) - and yet some people are saying Ood lacks compassion if she doesn't bend over backwards to help the student?