I am in a study group with 2 friends I have known and taken classes with for over a year. The 3 of us are all A/B students, come prepared, text each other during the week if we are confused about something, etc. We've become a tight knit group because we know we help instead of hindering.
There is a student who is currently failing A&P 2 who wants to join our study group. All 3 of us are leery about it. She comes to class late, she asks us to send her recordings, she looks at my notes everyday. If she put forth the effort herself we wouldn't mind trying to help her, but we feel like she just wants to ride our backs and we're not cool with that.
Our school has a science resource center she can go to, we have free one on one tutors, and the library has models she can check out for 2 hours at a time to study. There are ways for her to help herself before we help her.
I've worked my butt off to get where I am. I should be hearing if I am accepted to my program in 3 weeks. I am not going to get dragged down by someone who can't do the work themselves.
Ood, you owe it to yourself and only yourself to do as well in school as you can. The market is extremely competitive. If your current group dynamic is working, why mess with it, especially for someone who is not pulling their weight?
For those who say, "Where is your compassion?" sorry, this does not apply. There are other resources available. She needs to put the effort into her own work.
Ood, you owe it to yourself and only yourself to do as well in school as you can. The market is extremely competitive. If your current group dynamic is working, why mess with it, especially for someone who is not pulling their weight?
For those who say, "Where is your compassion?" sorry, this does not apply. There are other resources available. She needs to put the effort into her own work.
Agreed. School is hard enough without spending your energy, increasing your stress and making things harder, to help someone who isn't even utilizing the resources they're supposed to utilize.
Also, anyone who criticizes Oodles for not being compassionate enough just doesn't know her. So, that's a criticism I'd take with (to borrow a Farawynism) a BAER.
I totally agree with Pharmguy.....as a BSN student, about to graduate in 6 weeks, just because all of you claim to be A/B students, you dont want to be held down by someone who is struggling.... you are in for a rude awaking as a team player....
Don't care. Seriously. Part of being good at anything is knowing when to be a team player and when to buckle down and work hard on your own. Part of it is knowing who is on your team in name only (someone who asks for help but doesn't give help) and redirecting your energy to other people who jump in to help as much as you do. No one has to martyr themselves for anyone else. No one. Period.
Patients rely on the nurses to be team players... Patients become very sick very fast and you will get swamped very fast and will need your co-workers on many situations...if you cant help out a fellow student who could be someone who has not been taught how to study effectively, maybe comes from a less fortunate life who didnt get the support at home with school work, it could be she just needs a very simple direction in effective study habits..who knows, but I will say....
You're making an awful lot of assumptions to support an argument here. Maybe she's on that "Undercover Boss" show and she's waiting to see who's a "team player" and award them a million nurse points and a lifetime supply of skin repair cream. Maybe she's a space alien looking for compassionate people to take back to her home planet of Compassitron. Maybe she's just a slacker who has managed to get people to support her this far in life and expects Ood to do the same. You know who is the LAST person I would believe had any concept of whether any of these hypotheticals is true? Rando on the internet. You know who I would assume has the MOST information about this person? Ood, who knows her. So if Ood says she knows what's up, then that's what's up, and coming up with scenarios in which she might be wrong is pointless because you cannot know if you're right.
I am in a cohort of 50 students, we all have been together on this journey...... you will have to do plenty of GROUP papers, projects, and research together so you better learn how to play nice to each other now......you will be that new grad someday, and veteran nurses can spot a new grad a mile a way who is not a team player and they will eat you alive......your A/B means nothing on the floor taking care of patients, I have seen many C students in my class in clinical who ROCK when it comes to being confident and caring and able to handle a stressful CPR...... I saw another A student who froze in her shoes when a patient wasn't breathing and a doctor told her to do compressions.....on a CPR patient..... so take away.....be nice, helpful, and know that this person you don't want to help or maybe another one later on.....could be that nurse you end up working with years later, or someone who could help you get a job...... and she will remember you and how you treated her
Hi. I'm a nurse. I'm even a good nurse. You're right, we can spot new nurses. Sometimes because they're nervous. Sometimes because they clearly have no idea what they're doing. Sometimes because they want to give terrible, obvious, or pointless advice. You know what I want in a coworker?
1. Safe
2. Knowledgeable
3. Critical thinker
4. Caring
In. That. Order. If you're safe and competent and cold as ice we are 100% going to get along. If you're Florence Nightengale reincarnated but have never seen the inside of an alcohol swab wrapper or have to google how to mix insulins past your third shift we are 100% not going to get along and I will bar you from being near my patients. It's true that no one cares about grades, though. Except your professors. And your adrenal glands at finals.
I have a 3.6 GPA and there has been a class where I went into a final and needed a 87 in order to pass my class.....I had a death in my family and was struggling to pull it together that semester......my class mates all came together to give me notes, and recordings three days before that exam.....I passed with an 87.5.......its all about team work in the nursing profession......get use to it now or you will be a lone warrior and probably not make it on your own.....in this profession.....
You having a personal tragedy is pretty obviously different than the person Ood describes, and it's kind of a horrifying comparison. Of course you help someone who's just lost a family member. That's the epitome of extenuating circumstances. That doesn't obligate you to make sure everyone in your cohort has notes or to act as a free tutor to someone who can't be bothered to go to office hours or find a tutor. They aren't similar situations.
I have always enjoyed mentoring other students. I used to tutor one on one during nursing school. However, the student needs to make the effort to want to do well. It is not the responsibility of other students to carry someone.
Team player? Yes, in the workplace. However, many students allow themselves to fail out of their programs. That is not the fault of other students who have made the effort to do well and continue learning.
If someone chooses not to learn, that is their problem. Nothing comes for free.
Lots of talk about team players. You know whose team you should be on in school? Your own. That's who you owe your best effort to, that's who you owe your time and attention.
Part of being an adult and being good at what you do, is knowing your limits. I don't know if it's the case with this other student, but if she can't handle the work, she can't. And she, not you, is in charge of getting the remediation or tutoring in order for her to learn.
We can apply what we learn about helping patients to other situations in that establishing proper boundaries and not fostering dependence by "doing for" are priorities for proper helping relationships. Failing to do so hurts you and doesn't truly help them; it simply enables people who don't want to do the hard things. It is sometimes easier to just do the thing they want, but we fool ourselves if we call it "helping" in any real sense. We also must allow people the freedom to make their own choices and live with the consequences. This is no less true for students or co-workers than for patients. By all means help people when you can, but make sure you're actually helping them.
On the other hand, carrying someone who is just very bad at nursing means you're possibly aiding in unleashing someone who is potentially unsafe on patients when the system would have otherwise weeded them out as unsuitable. Sometimes letting the system work that way benefits everyone, including the person who would be miserable in the field.
Specializes in Utilization Management, Informatics.
Thanks! Hands down I bet you are an awesome nurse! I was reading through all the replies and thinking Wow all this negativity and selfishness coming from nurses, future nurses..just makes me hang my head but its the way of the world..dog eat dog..every man out for himself. Now watch I get ripped for this comment.LOL I hope this person passes with flying colors and the ones who deny her, one day feel her pain.
Thanks! Hands down I bet you are an awesome nurse! I was reading through all the replies and thinking Wow all this negativity and selfishness coming from nurses, future nurses..just makes me hang my head but its the way of the world..dog eat dog..every man out for himself. Now watch I get ripped for this comment.LOL I hope this person passes with flying colors and the ones who deny her, one day feel her pain.
Thanks! Hands down I bet you are an awesome nurse! I was reading through all the replies and thinking Wow all this negativity and selfishness coming from nurses, future nurses..just makes me hang my head but its the way of the world..dog eat dog..every man out for himself. Now watch I get ripped for this comment.LOL I hope this person passes with flying colors and the ones who deny her, one day feel her pain.
If this student is making 44s on test, they are going to have to do some MAJOR turnaround work to pass. I am expected to be compassionate to my patients. I look out for their best interest and advocate for them. The student who is failing a class and puts no effort forth? That's not my responsibility.
We had a girl like that in my class when I was in school. She left early all the time and when she was there, didn't take notes. Why should I have helped this person? I worked full time (like the majority of the students in my program) and still managed to make it class and do what was expected of me. So why should I help this girl and give her all MY hard work? Was it selfish of me? No.
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Thanks! Hands down I bet you are an awesome nurse! I was reading through all the replies and thinking Wow all this negativity and selfishness coming from nurses, future nurses..just makes me hang my head but its the way of the world..dog eat dog..every man out for himself. Now watch I get ripped for this comment.LOL I hope this person passes with flying colors and the ones who deny her, one day feel her pain.
In order for this person to pass "with flying colors", she's going to need to make some serious changes. Nurses who aren't improving on orientation and don't make an effort to improve aren't going to keep their jobs; why should nursing students carry the weight of another student who isn't doing what she needs to do in the first place?
If you really are a nurse, (and I have my doubts based on this post), you must have had an interesting and unique experience in nursing school where everyone did what was expected and didn't mooch off of others.
I would also like to add: it is a dog eat dog world. The interview is a competition and those who choose not to prepare are left out. You may as well learn these realities now.
Specializes in Oncology, Rehab, Public Health, Med Surg.
Yikes. I am very selective with who I work with, luckily I have a solid group. Ideally, the A/P and Chem series (hopefully) will weed out the students who should not be responsible for other's healthcare. Don't feel bad, I am so neurotic I would have flat out said no.
Help struggling student/ don't help struggling student--your decision.
But don't make the mistake of thinking that someone not doing well in those classes will "weed out" all those irresponsible horrible people who shouldn't even be in healthcare .
Read the stories on this site of people that struggle and overcome. Or struggle ,fail, and come back stronger than ever. Perhaps even a stronger better nurse for that experience.
You're not responsible for other student's sucesss or failures. But neither are you responsible for judging their fitness as future nurses.
joanna73, BSN, RN
4,767 Posts
Ood, you owe it to yourself and only yourself to do as well in school as you can. The market is extremely competitive. If your current group dynamic is working, why mess with it, especially for someone who is not pulling their weight?
For those who say, "Where is your compassion?" sorry, this does not apply. There are other resources available. She needs to put the effort into her own work.