sharing personal info with patients

[anon456, BSN, RN]

I'm a nursing student about to graduate in 8 weeks (!!!). I wanted to know when it's appropriate to share personal info in order to help relate to a patient, or when not to.

For example, if I am working on the cancer floor and I'm a cancer survivor.

Or my child was in PICU and I'm an PICU nurse. I can say "I remember how hard it was when my child was in PICU. It can be overwhelming" (or something like that.

Or if you take a med that the patient is starting and you know how hard the side effects are, and how to mange them.

I know about boundaries, and I know that the main focus should be on the patient. I would not go into a long dialogue about it, but just to say "I understand because I was there." When my child was sick, though thank goodness not in the PICU, I remember how hard it was, and I remember a nurse whose child had a similar issue. She briefly shared that with me and I then knew that she understood the feelings I was having, and she was the most patient. She only shared that much, did not share a whole story about her child, but just enough to make me know I was not alone in my struggles, I was not the only one in the world who had gone through this. If I were a cancer patient I would love to know that my nurse had also had cancer.

There is a med I take that that a patient had started on, and it had a lot of short term side effects that went away after the med was taken for awhile. I kept quiet and just gave the general education about it, but it was on the tip of my tongue to say "I know how hard it is to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the med makes you feel worse instead of better for a few weeks. Just hang in there."

When I was doing my psych rotation one of the nurses was leading a group session. She shared that her mom had committed suicide because it was relevant to that conversation. It was done in a professional way and she moved the focus right back to the patient after sharing that. It helped to open some doors of communication and the group made some progress after that because that rapport was established.

Just wanted some feedback. Sorry this was so long! THanks!

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

I'm very interested in what people have to say about this.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

Stay away from this, it makes you too involved. What are you going to do for the patient that you have nothing in common with? If your bag of tricks includes your whole health history what about that TURP patient (I'm assuming you're a woman, hope I'm not off the track)? You could say "this drug has a lot of side effects that aren't listed" instead of "when I took this drug it really whacked me out". You can show empathy without getting too personal, and sooner or later you will share something that you will regret. Maybe a patient posts your story on Facebook or something. Personally I don't need my nurse to be a cancer survivor to help me get through my cancer. It's best to keep your attention focused on the patient, not on you.

[sbostonRN]

I am just starting my psych rotation (tonight actually) and we recently discussed this in class. I think the key elements to sharing personal information are keeping it relevant, and keeping it brief. It's a professional one-sided relationship, where you are there to help the patient, so if you feel it would be best to include it, I think that's OK. Especially in situations that you cited, it seemed to be very beneficial. Now, if the patient seemed uncomfortable with the comments, I would shift the focus back to them.

[klone, MSN, RN]

IMO, it's okay to share personal info in certain situations.

For example, if I have a couple coming into the hospital who have a birth plan and want to do it unmedicated, I know that they're probably quite anxious about what type of nurse they're getting stuck with and if she'll be a help or a hindrance to their wishes. When I introduce myself, I let them know that I had three natural, unmedicated births and fully respect and understand their desires and will help them in whatever way I can to that end. Without exception, sharing that little tidbit of my own personal history is met with relief and appreciation.

If I have parents whose baby is having difficulty and needs to go to the NICU, I will often share that I too had a baby who had to go to the NICU, and I understand the stress and fear they're feeling. This often opens up a dialogue as to what to expect, and I know they appreciate having a nurse who's BTDT.

So yes, I do feel it's okay to share personal information, as long as it's not being done gratuitously or for your own edification, but rather to help your patients/families cope with their own situation.

[Mulan]

I wouldn't do it.

[LouisVRN, RN]

I agree it entirely depends on the patient, nothing will work for all patients. If I say anything I try to keep it to one sentence or less, and then draw the attention back to the patient. ie "I know there can be a lot of side effects from receiving IV Magnesium and that it can be really uncomfortable, please if there is anything I can do to make you more comfortable, let me know." Or occasionally we get post-partum patients that must have an extended hospital stay and I usually say something like "I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be away from your son/daughter, I remember how hard it was when my son was in the NICU. Do you have some photos you'd like to put up in your room?" I try to always keep in mind that while I think I think my stories are interesting the patients really don't care they just want to know you can relate.

[Jules A, MSN]

I am just starting my psych rotation (tonight actually) and we recently discussed this in class. I think the key elements to sharing personal information are keeping it relevant, and keeping it brief. It's a professional one-sided relationship, where you are there to help the patient, so if you feel it would be best to include it, I think that's OK. Especially in situations that you cited, it seemed to be very beneficial. Now, if the patient seemed uncomfortable with the comments, I would shift the focus back to them.

Hopefully your professor also pointed out that there are very few cases where it is in the patient's best interest and not something inexperienced nurses should be attempting.

[caliotter3]

I learned not to do it when I got burned royally by a patient who asked me direct questions and I responded in a moment of weakness. I thought I was properly acknowledging the patient. They turned around and took what I said to complain about me to my employer. They made no mention of the fact that they had been badgering me for every moment of the eight hour shift. While you think you may be connecting with your patient, you might never guess that the patient is gathering ammunition to use against you. They know you are supposed to keep boundaries.

[RNperdiem, RN]

It is a judgment call in each situation. I would err on the side of less.

[tailwagger]

I try not to give too much information. I am friendly but really like to do my assessments & pass meds then get out of the room without adding too much unnecessary chit chat about myself or similar situations. It can really put you behind schedule when assigned to numerous patients. The other thing is that you really do not know this person. What can you trust them with? I will answer certain questions to patients about my children when asked but I will never give my childrens names, the town we live in or their school district. Most of the time I change the subject. I also find that it's more therapeutic for the patients if they talk about their lives instead of hearing about someone elses. Otherwise you're better off talking about the weather, TV programs or sports with them if you are chatting.

[systoly]

Why does it have to be personal information? Just say, "I know of a case ..."