I'm a nursing student about to graduate in 8 weeks (!!!). I wanted to know when it's appropriate to share personal info in order to help relate to a patient, or when not to.
For example, if I am working on the cancer floor and I'm a cancer survivor.
Or my child was in PICU and I'm an PICU nurse. I can say "I remember how hard it was when my child was in PICU. It can be overwhelming" (or something like that.
Or if you take a med that the patient is starting and you know how hard the side effects are, and how to mange them.
I know about boundaries, and I know that the main focus should be on the patient. I would not go into a long dialogue about it, but just to say "I understand because I was there." When my child was sick, though thank goodness not in the PICU, I remember how hard it was, and I remember a nurse whose child had a similar issue. She briefly shared that with me and I then knew that she understood the feelings I was having, and she was the most patient. She only shared that much, did not share a whole story about her child, but just enough to make me know I was not alone in my struggles, I was not the only one in the world who had gone through this. If I were a cancer patient I would love to know that my nurse had also had cancer.
There is a med I take that that a patient had started on, and it had a lot of short term side effects that went away after the med was taken for awhile. I kept quiet and just gave the general education about it, but it was on the tip of my tongue to say "I know how hard it is to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the med makes you feel worse instead of better for a few weeks. Just hang in there."
When I was doing my psych rotation one of the nurses was leading a group session. She shared that her mom had committed suicide because it was relevant to that conversation. It was done in a professional way and she moved the focus right back to the patient after sharing that. It helped to open some doors of communication and the group made some progress after that because that rapport was established.
Just wanted some feedback. Sorry this was so long! THanks!
I gave birth to a baby boy 4 months ago. I really found it comforting when the nurses who cared for me told me that they understood and they too had been through childbirth.
Although comforting,
It isnt when the nurse caring for you stays in your room talking about her children, going on and on to ignore the questions I had and my pain issues.
I think if you share a part of you that pertains to the patient that may comfort them while remembering the patient is the focus then I say go ahead.
Good example of how easy it can be to derail and since I'm sure the offending nurses had good intentions I think this shows how in most cases it is better to avoid opening this door in the first place.
Better than sharing your common experience, let the insights you gained from them inform your practice.
Rather than say, " I had a child in the PICU so I can relate," ask "How are you feeling about all the alarms and equipment?" or tell a tired mom, "It's okay to go to the Parent's sleeping room for a couple of hours. I'll come get you if anything changes."
If someone asks you point blank if you ever had a particular med or disease or procedure, you can say, "Yes, as a matter of fact I did. But your experience may be different from mine. I encourage you to talk to your doctor if you have questions. Meanwhile, let's see if we can get you a little more comfortable."
The point isn't that you have been where they are, but that you want to meet them where they are. The shared experience may give you a better road map, but they don't need to know the mechanics behind your wisdom and compassion.
But I warn you don't share personal info with patients, especially where you live, etc. Someone I worked with leaked where I live one night, and a drunk guy (who liked me at work but I didn't like him),showed up on my door step. It was very scary and I had to end up moving.
Just say it's your facilities/hospitals policy that you don't give out personal info.
You have to be discreet to a certain extent as a RN I think, be carefuly what you say and what you say. If people badger me for personal info I just say I don't discuss my personal life at work (I don't), smile and keep changing the subject.
What do you do if a patient or staff member keeps asking personal questions and you try to get around the questions but they are asked in so many different ways that you something slips?
Jules A, MSN
8,864 Posts
Good example of how easy it can be to derail and since I'm sure the offending nurses had good intentions I think this shows how in most cases it is better to avoid opening this door in the first place.