Published May 4, 2021
JKL33
6,953 Posts
People often post here regarding some nursing-related difficulty they are facing. Often enough, it seems obvious that they are just being messed with by someone who feels bad about themselves and enjoys taking it out on others.
I advise not taking the bait and rather just staying the course, remaining professional and not getting drawn in to negativity and unprofessionalism. Don't get drawn in to acting like just that which you despise, etc., etc.
Well, there is someone who, after dropping the ball on something months ago, has decided to come unglued and retaliate after being asked ever-so-kindly to please provide the service that I need (which they are being paid to do).
This person has now put part of my life on hold at a significantly critical juncture, just because they can. Making up rules on the fly, vindictive email shenanigans, etc. Everything is going to work out, this person is just enjoying causing further delay and implying that it is my fault.
I know what I need to do and I'm proud of myself for staying calm and not reacting the way that I feel right now. I know the interpersonal mechanics of how not to let this person get the best of me. But it is really hard. As you might be able to imagine, I have a lot I would love to say. But that is not the way.
So.....if anyone is inclined to lend some good vibes to this situation that would be appreciated. ??
NurseBlaq
1,756 Posts
Sorry you're going through that. Seems like that person is miserable and needs company. I would avoid them at all costs and papertrail them, keep good notes and quote when necessary. However, you are better than me because I would have filed some form of grievance on this person especially since the putting life on hold part. I'm not letting anybody's shenanigans disrupt my life. You can ignore pettiness, BS talk, but actively disrupting my daily functioning is a whole different ballgame.
Davey Do
10,608 Posts
17 minutes ago, JKL33 said: Often enough, it seems obvious that they are just being messed with by someone who feels bad about themselves and enjoys taking it out on others.... I know what I need to do and I'm proud of myself for staying calm and not reacting the way that I feel right now.
Often enough, it seems obvious that they are just being messed with by someone who feels bad about themselves and enjoys taking it out on others....
I know what I need to do and I'm proud of myself for staying calm and not reacting the way that I feel right now.
We often believe that if we can get others to support our perspective, it reinforces who we are, and we are therefore happy. However, our happiness comes not from what others say or do, our happiness is the result of being at peace with ourselves.
Putting principles before personalities, doing what is ethically and morally right over reinforcing someone else's emotional desire to feel empowered, always the best approach to any situation.
I doff my proverbial hat to you, JKL.
TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
I've been in similar circumstances a couple of times. Both times caused by managers with whom I had a previous good relationship, due to my work ethic and being agreeable.
Maybe that is why they became incensed when I refused to participate in the BS du jour, and was vocal to my colleagues about my principles. Receiving false accusations is always a life-disruptor.
One time I was on paid admin leave for 5 weeks before being able to make short work of things in a tribunal. The other time I was investigated by the BON who kept saying "This could just be someone's vendetta". Meaning they had already pegged it as such and nothing came of it.
Both situations were stressful while they were occuring. The best revenge is landing on your feet. The bonus is when they make themselves look bad for their pettiness and dishonesty.
I'm pulling for you. Do keep us updated.
Daisy4RN
2,221 Posts
I am sorry you are having to deal with this current situation!
I applaud you for remaining professional and staying calm. It can indeed be difficult at times but IMO when we don't we are only hurting our own soul in the end. It is easy/lazy to start throwing mud as others do but you yourself also end up dirty. (I think Davey said something along those lines using jam as the analogy). I hope everything works it self out and soon!!
2 hours ago, JKL33 said: So.....if anyone is inclined to lend some good vibes to this situation that would be appreciated. ??
?♀️Good vibes coming your way?
don't let them steal you joy!!
2 hours ago, Daisy4RN said: I think Davey said something along those lines using jam as the analogy.
I think Davey said something along those lines using jam as the analogy.
I quote the late great philosopher cartoonist Charles Schulz, speaking through his character, Linus Van Pelt:
"Love is like jam- you can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself!"
Edit: Linus Van Pelt also said:
"It's easy to be happy When there's no cause to frown. But the person worthwhile Is the one who will smile When their sandwich falls jelly-side down!"
WestCoastSunRN, MSN, CNS
496 Posts
I am saddened to read you are dealing with such a situation. It is amazing and scary the kind of power others can exercise over us - especially when we are just doing our thing - the thing we are supposed to do. I'm glad you have the confidence that things will shake out as they should in the end.
I understand what it feels like to be vulnerable in needing the check mark, approval, blessing, buy-in, agreement, etc.... of someone who may have a very different view of things than yourself. It is a lesson to me of how I want to be when I am the one holding the strings, pen, reins, power, etc. I know you hold to the same convictions.
My good vibes come in the way of prayers - and you have them!
Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN
1,248 Posts
{{{JKK33 }}}
some old fashioned hugs from the COB sidelines!
FashionablyL8, CNA, LPN
142 Posts
Sending you good vibes, JKL! You've always been so helpful and given me great advice, I hate to see you dealing with this. Some people just seem to be allergic to doing the right thing ?. Hope this all resolves quickly!!
You all are wonderful.
Thanks for the vibes, prayers, comments and support. I have a long fuse but after being ignored and then jacked around I thought I might be coming to the end of it. I shifted into business mode today instead of I've-been-waiting-all-this-time-can't-you-please-help-me mode. I am happy to report the issue is resolved finally.
Thanks so much. ???
JBMmom, MSN, NP
4 Articles; 2,537 Posts
Sending you all the good vibes I can muster. Your professionalism and calm demeanor clearly extend beyond this message board, where you are a great source of information/feedback/support. I do hope that things are resolved as quickly as possible with minimal drama from here. Best wishes.
JadedCPN, BSN, RN
1,476 Posts
Sending you all the positive vibes your way @JKL33, I always enjoy your insight and posts on the forum.