I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
Women have had to endure this for years because "thats how it is." If this guy is in any way enlightened to modern times, he should know that this is inappropriate behavior in the workplace but perhaps thinks he can get away with it because YOU are also a guy. I think if it were me in the situation, I would let him know that you find his behavior offensive and inappropriate and that it has nothing to do with your manhood. Rather, it has to do with your concern for his job and the way he is affecting his co workers, yourself, and by extension, the patients and families. I might remind him that whatever or however he feels, it wouldn't be unlikely for someone to report this offensive behavior, and that will most certainly mean the demise of his position. If he doesn't get the message, he should not be surprised at the potential outcome. Young or not, he is a nurse and catering to the concerns and cares of people charged with his care AND, he needs to learn much more than technical skills to be a good nurse and to be a good person. Good for you for calling him on it..Thankyou on behalf of women everywhere...Your daughter has a good dad...
This guys sounds like one sick bastard he probably never gets laid thats why he makes those vulgar comments.
That one comment about the 16 year olds pubic hair was really bad yeah i get the guy is in his mid 20's but thats the sort of thing a rapist or pedophile would say.
You should tell him not say things like that at work because if a girl hears him say that crap he is gonna be in huge trouble or he might isolate all the staff from him.
Gross. It's not an issue of him being in his mid 20's. I work with plenty of men in their mid 20's who are not grossly inappropriate like him. I agree that he's a timebomb and it should be brought to someone's attention. If you alone talk to him, he can keep on doing it by making sure he just doesn't let you hear it.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I still say you should handle it as UN-emotionally as possible (to give him the least shock value payback he wants). You simply state that sort of behavior creates a hostile work environment, it is indeed sexual harassment, and you will not tolerate it. And if it does not stop, you will report it through proper channels to see it is stopped. Then be done with it. The guy is sick. But don't let him have the satisfaction of an emotional response. There are ways to deal with this that will take him down, FAST.
Before going to nursing school seven years ago, I worked in construction (building new homes, decks, fences, and odd's and end's). That kinda conversation was tolerated by very few of the "guys" on work crews. This guy needs to be taken aside the next time he makes a sexual assault comment and told that you do not like ANYTHING he has to say about the opposite sex.
Usually when person's of any age or any profession, talk about the opposite sex in a gross negative way it just show's their immaturity, or unfullfilled (or perverted) sexual life.
I say confront him. Don't worry about hurting his feeling's, he obviously dosen't care about yours. And distants your self from him.
Before going to nursing school seven years ago, I worked in construction (building new homes, decks, fences, and odd's and end's). That kinda conversation was tolerated by very few of the "guys" on work crews. This guy needs to be taken aside the next time he makes a sexual assault comment and told that you do not like ANYTHING he has to say about the opposite sex.
Usually when person's of any age or any profession, talk about the opposite sex in a gross negative way it just show's their immaturity, or unfullfilled (or perverted) sexual life.
I say confront him. Don't worry about hurting his feeling's, he obviously dosen't care about yours. And distants your self from him.
Sounds like you've already put him on some notice that you find the talk offensive, if you haven't please do. Then you may wish to document starting now and share with HR or a trusted supervisor to protect yourself should he retaliate...he's calling you a prude so its started already in some small manner. This is unprofessional and harassing conduct and like mentioned you could be guilty by association if you don't document.
Some workplaces are more relaxed than others but this guy sounds way out there and as others have suggested, perverted.
I seriously would worry about what he might do behind closed doors with a vulnerable patient (your BON might wonder why YOU didn't worry about this too) Good luck.
PS I know an older male RN who contracted unknowingly with a crew of breastfeeding new mothers. These young women were preoccupied with talking (and performing) breastfeeding and pumping and didn't hold back at all on the job, according to my friend. Family members routinely brought babes up to breastfeed openly in the breakroom, as well as pumping openly in the breakroom.He asked his coworkers to please use discretion in the common breakroom, and also cool the talk a bit, as he felt uncomfortable as the only male present. He documented the conversation and also what followed. He was agency and 'the girls' ganged up on him and got his contract canceled, which I felt was all wrong. We ALL deserve to work in an environment free from uncomfortable sexually related talk...and if the girls talking and actions were troubling he had the right to bring it up IMO. He tells me has a lawsuit and we shall see if he wins. I hope he does by the way, as this stuff goes both ways and its NOT always the guys doing the harrassing..
.thumb.jpg.6eeb2c01c27cfd151d706238b7f6d6b7.jpg){kind=small}
Jo Dirt
3,270 Posts
This makes me sick. This loser needs to be reported and quick.