I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
Thunderwolf, I think you've gotten the impression from all of the posters that this nurses' comments are unacceptable. He apparently thinks that as a guy you have the same feelings. (Maybe he thinks all men have the same thoughts and feelings and that expressing them is normal behavior. Wonder what home was like?) I definately would report his comments as well as the docs who engage in the same behavior. It is sexual harrassment with huge lawsuit potential. If your management team isn't interested in your feelings, I'm sure they will be interested in the lawsuit a visitor files for tolerating his behavior. He really sounds like a time bomb. Where are you working? I want to avoid your hospital til this guy is under control.
I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
He may be crude, until the first time he gets a phone call from a lawyer. :eek: It may be prudent to maintain a distance when he starts this, lest you be named as another one in the case.
I find it humorous that a male nurse is actually singled out to the degree spoken of here. 95% of nursing consists of females,yet I found many of them to be inappropriate over the years with absolutely no consequences. I've been inappropriately hugged, leaned on, kissed, and have had my assed grabbed by female nurses. No one that witnessed any of these events ever commented to me or supported me in thinking that there was inappropriate behavior. Then again, why would they,when the ones that witnessed these events were females? From my experience, both as a victim and a witness in the workplace, especially in nursing, females just tend to have blinders on when acts are committed by other females.
Their behaviour was not appropriate towards you if you did not want these intereactions. I've seen male staff targeted by a female supervisor, I noticed her scapegoating him at a staff meeting for no appropriate reason as if to blame him for something abstract just because he's male, he was relatively new to the facility and confided to me later how he wanted to leave that place full of women.
As for the young man who makes these offensive remarks - beware of him and report him, get him straightened out. He is harassing people. In my community a male physician did sexually assault a female patient, he obstructed justice while they were investigating, and as a result he was deported from this country back to his country of origin (after his ending up in the penitentary here). Some of them are going to try - I have no idea why they imagine they can get away with this behaviour. Look at what it cost this doctor and this patient and this community - and perhaps this could have been prevented?
I worked in a small SNF unit and unfortunately the DON, a male RN, and a CNA were all just as bad. The DON once said to me in front of a male CNA (in his 20"s) something about the topical cream my Dr. who had been on the unit ordered that he might want to rub it on. We were both embarassed and I did report it to the head of HR on my exit interview. I had told her on a voice mail that I was leaving for a Home Health position which she effectively blocked. The CNA that went along with her , told the male RN that she would give him the shirt off her back and proceeded to do so. This was on 2 nd shift and even though we were small 10rooms we had 2 elevators. Imagine if someone would have come up then!! I lost all respect for her then! Report it to whoever will listen in HR!
I find it humorous that a male nurse is actually singled out to the degree spoken of here. 95% of nursing consists of females,yet I found many of them to be inappropriate over the years with absolutely no consequences. I've been inappropriately hugged, leaned on, kissed, and have had my assed grabbed by female nurses. No one that witnessed any of these events ever commented to me or supported me in thinking that there was inappropriate behavior. Then again, why would they,when the ones that witnessed these events were females? From my experience, both as a victim and a witness in the workplace, especially in nursing, females just tend to have blinders on when acts are committed by other females.
And what you listed is wrong, not matter what sex started it. EITHER way it needs stopped.
I find it humorous that a male nurse is actually singled out to the degree spoken of here. 95% of nursing consists of females,yet I found many of them to be inappropriate over the years with absolutely no consequences. I've been inappropriately hugged, leaned on, kissed, and have had my assed grabbed by female nurses. No one that witnessed any of these events ever commented to me or supported me in thinking that there was inappropriate behavior. Then again, why would they,when the ones that witnessed these events were females? From my experience, both as a victim and a witness in the workplace, especially in nursing, females just tend to have blinders on when acts are committed by other females.
A few of us here actually DID point that females sometimes harass males Bloodman if you read back. I've witnessed female nurses sit on guys laps, give provocative backrubs, feed the doctors grapes, flirt shamelessly, lift up their scrubs and flash the guys their 'new boobs'... I could go on and on about some of 'the girls'. Harassment is harassment and we shouldn't turn a blind eye to it. Same with innappropriate behavior. Sadly, the TV shows on today have romanticized the flirting atmosphere in healthcare so this has not helped.
Specializes in Med Surg, ICU, Infection, Home Health, and LTC.
It seems like what that nurse is doing is not only disrespectful and vulgar, but close to verbal rape. I believe that his behavior will betray his true character eventually, either through body language, certain glances, or other ways.
Another thought I have after counseling with victims, any female who has been raped or abused will certainly pick up on those subtle cues, whether anyone else would or not. Victims have an inner sensitivity and observation skills that result from having to survive.
I also believe that anyone that would talk that way would use any opportunity for victimiation that comes along without batting an eye lash.
His language and lack of professionalism show true character. I would also guess that his nursing skills are not all that great if you followed behind him on patient care. Someone needs to report him and deal with these issues because if he will talk it, he will walk when the chance comes along. Then he will not only be the guilty one, but the ones allowing the behavior are also to blame IMHO.
Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.
I find this absolutely horrifying. I don't have male caretakers (d/t an unfortunate experience in my youth) except for male nurses. I have always trusted male nurses, regarding them as nurses rather than male. I would have bet money no nurse would ever act that way towards a patient. Now I'm freaked out. Please tell me privately in what state you work: I want to stay far away!
:eek: It may be prudent to maintain a distance when he starts this, lest you be named as another one in the case.
JudyPRN
12 Posts
Thunderwolf, I think you've gotten the impression from all of the posters that this nurses' comments are unacceptable. He apparently thinks that as a guy you have the same feelings. (Maybe he thinks all men have the same thoughts and feelings and that expressing them is normal behavior. Wonder what home was like?) I definately would report his comments as well as the docs who engage in the same behavior. It is sexual harrassment with huge lawsuit potential. If your management team isn't interested in your feelings, I'm sure they will be interested in the lawsuit a visitor files for tolerating his behavior. He really sounds like a time bomb. Where are you working? I want to avoid your hospital til this guy is under control.