I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
I think alot of people on this thread are over-reacting. The other side to this situation, besides females that harrass without consequences, is patients that grossly misperceive what male nurses are doing. I've merely walked into patient rooms simply to domy job, and have had elderly patients cry out that I didn't belong in their room,etc. Then a parade of female co-workers come running in, listening to the patient's endless babbling (senility), only to give me dirty looks. All a guy needs are a few of these incidents and you're drummed out the door, based on the misperceptions and stupidity of patients and co-workers. Much of this judgmental behavior by co-workers and employers is based on how well they like you or how much they value you, which of course has nothing to do with what actually happened. This is quite a harsh penalty to pay for someone who goes to nursing school, finishes on top, and then is treated like a pariah in the workplace by co-workers and patients with idiotic notions.
I think alot of people on this thread are over-reacting. The other side to this situation, besides females that harrass without consequences, is patients that grossly misperceive what male nurses are doing. I've merely walked into patient rooms simply to domy job, and have had elderly patients cry out that I didn't belong in their room,etc. Then a parade of female co-workers come running in, listening to the patient's endless babbling (senility), only to give me dirty looks. All a guy needs are a few of these incidents and you're drummed out the door, based on the misperceptions and stupidity of patients and co-workers. Much of this judgmental behavior by co-workers and employers is based on how well they like you or how much they value you, which of course has nothing to do with what actually happened. This is quite a harsh penalty to pay for someone who goes to nursing school, finishes on top, and then is treated like a pariah in the workplace by co-workers and patients with idiotic notions.
I'm sorry (heck, no, i'm not really!) but if MY co-worker (male OR female) makes a remark like the OP listed, and says "don't you get urges", THAT is a cause for alarm, and NOT a an opportunity to say or think it's an overreaction.
Like i said, are you OK with any nurse saying "don't you get urges" after seeing your daughter naked? I highly doubt it!
I feel that his comments can border on "sexual harassment". He could get fired for that. I would report him to someone in authority, or maybe make a complaint to your state board of nursing.
i would consider his behavior sexual harassment and tell him so, and then request he stop it immediately. if he did continue despite my request to stop the behavior, would take it up the chain as a sexual harassment complaint. simple as that. because that is what it is. harassment.
perfectly put! (thumbs up) :)
my thoughts exactly. those are the proper steps to take, and someone needs to start putting them into motion. if i worked with that jerk, he would have been out of there faster than he came in. bet on it! :angryfire
i think alot of people on this thread are over-reacting.
..................much of this judgmental behavior by co-workers and employers
is based on how well they like you or how much they value you, which of course has nothing to do with what actually happened. this is quite a harsh penalty to pay for someone who goes to nursing school, finishes on top, and then is treated like a pariah in the workplace by co-workers and patients with idiotic notions.
pleeeeezzzzz tell me you are not serious here! if this is how you summize the situation, then i'd be watching you as well on the job.
I think alot of people on this thread are over-reacting. The other side to this situation, besides females that harrass without consequences, is patients that grossly misperceive what male nurses are doing. I've merely walked into patient rooms simply to domy job, and have had elderly patients cry out that I didn't belong in their room,etc. Then a parade of female co-workers come running in, listening to the patient's endless babbling (senility), only to give me dirty looks. All a guy needs are a few of these incidents and you're drummed out the door, based on the misperceptions and stupidity of patients and co-workers. Much of this judgmental behavior by co-workers and employers is based on how well they like you or how much they value you, which of course has nothing to do with what actually happened. This is quite a harsh penalty to pay for someone who goes to nursing school, finishes on top, and then is treated like a pariah in the workplace by co-workers and patients with idiotic notions.
Hey man I don't know where you work, but as a male in nursing I have never once been treated that way by anyone (pt, visitor, staff, etc). When you go into a pt's room esp. an elderly or senile patient do you identify yourself and your intentions? Even if it is the 500th time you have told the patient you are their nurse they still may have forgotten the 499 other times. As for the staff do you think your opinion of their "idiotic notions" causes you to behave in a manner you think they will react?
Have to admit that phrase "idiotic notions" makes me wonder if you've understood why any of the patients would ask what you are doing in their room? Did you intrude into the room or was the patient aware that you were planning to be coming in? What was the patient doing when you arrived? Did you explain to the patient the reason you were there? Sorry if these questions sound harsh.
The main problem here was bashing this one guy's behavior to such a degree, when nursing is 95% made up of females. Most of the time I worked as a nurse, I heard inappropriate sex talk from females, always initiated by females, and always overlooked by female supervisors/managers. The fact is they are hypocrites. That is all ok, but then when a guy speaks inappropriately we have to write him up, report him, discipline him, etc. I've even heard the argument that "well we(guys) don't have to fear being raped by women." This kind of reasoning excuses their(femalenurse) inappropriateness? Other than the stupidity I witnessed in nursing school, I never realized just how ignorant some female nurses can be. I'm not defending this guy's behavior, but do we really need to waste space repeating how inappropriate he was? I'm simply pointing out why HIS behavior is being dwelled upon so much in comparison to the multitude of females that talk inappropriately in hospitals every shift. I guess it's just easier to have an audience to bash 5% of guys like this, as well as in the workplace, when 95% of nurses are female. I would have hoped for better.
That co-worker is out of control. If he's so explicit about his sexual fantasies, especially about underage girls, its just a matter of time before he finds himself in hot water. What if one day he's assigned to an attractive female patient who's semi-conscious and he decides that he just can't help himself? Then the issue wouldn't be about his gender or professionalism anymore, but about losing his job, his license, and possibly prison time. The fact that he's been telling you about these fantasies may have legal implications for you as well. I'd avoid this guy if I were you.
The main problem here was bashing this one guy's behavior to such a degree, when nursing is 95% made up of females. Most of the time I worked as a nurse, I heard inappropriate sex talk from females, always initiated by females, and always overlooked by female supervisors/managers. The fact is they are hypocrites. That is all ok, but then when a guy speaks inappropriately we have to write him up, report him, discipline him, etc. I've even heard the argument that "well we(guys) don't have to fear being raped by women." This kind of reasoning excuses their(femalenurse) inappropriateness? Other than the stupidity I witnessed in nursing school, I never realized just how ignorant some female nurses can be. I'm not defending this guy's behavior, but do we really need to waste space repeating how inappropriate he was? I'm simply pointing out why HIS behavior is being dwelled upon so much in comparison to the multitude of females that talk inappropriately in hospitals every shift. I guess it's just easier to have an audience to bash 5% of guys like this, as well as in the workplace, when 95% of nurses are female. I would have hoped for better.
Hey man coming from a guy with some pretty crude friends, I can tell you I've never heard anything like this guy's "urges". Yes I will agree with you that women and men can be equally rude and crude, the point of the OP was simply to ask if HE was overreacting, nothing more. Yes this nurses' behavior touched some nerves here on this board but that is what happens when you post something for others to weigh their opinon on. No one here has made it a point to villify men and their behavior, only to point out how disgusting this nurses' behavior was. If you read other posts women did mention witness maltreatment of men by women. This guys behavior is wrong and inappropriate no matter how you look at it.
The main problem here was bashing this one guy's behavior to such a degree, when nursing is 95% made up of females.
That's because it just so happens that the person in this situation IS a guy. If it's a female, then there still no excuses.
Most of the time I worked as a nurse, I heard inappropriate sex talk from females, always initiated by females, and always overlooked by female supervisors/managers.
And did you speak up or report ANY of this??
The fact is they are hypocrites.
"They" meaning who, specifically?
That is all ok, but then when a guy speaks inappropriately we have to write him up, report him, discipline him, etc. I've even heard the argument that "well we(guys) don't have to fear being raped by women." This kind of reasoning excuses their(femalenurse) inappropriateness?
Where is the HECK are you getting this from? NO ONE said it's ok or appropriate!
Other than the stupidity I witnessed in nursing school, I never realized just how ignorant some female nurses can be. I'm not defending this guy's behavior, but do we really need to waste space repeating how inappropriate he was? I'm simply pointing out why HIS behavior is being dwelled upon so much in comparison to the multitude of females that talk inappropriately in hospitals every shift.
I think you're not reading the whole picture. Everyone chips in their two-cents' worth on this board, it's not a matter of of 'his behavior being dwelled upon'.
If this were a female that was doing this, i'd still have the same opinion on this matter, no 'hypocrisy' here.
I guess it's just easier to have an audience to bash 5% of guys like this, as well as in the workplace, when 95% of nurses are female. I would have hoped for better.
That statement is very unfair. And if you're just hoping for better, nothing would ever change. Ghandhi once said that you have to be the change that you want to see. So if you see ANYTHING inappropriate, then DO something about it instead of chalking it up to hypocrisy, "ignorant" female nurses, and out-numbering statistics?
Bloodman
13 Posts
I think alot of people on this thread are over-reacting. The other side to this situation, besides females that harrass without consequences, is patients that grossly misperceive what male nurses are doing. I've merely walked into patient rooms simply to domy job, and have had elderly patients cry out that I didn't belong in their room,etc. Then a parade of female co-workers come running in, listening to the patient's endless babbling (senility), only to give me dirty looks. All a guy needs are a few of these incidents and you're drummed out the door, based on the misperceptions and stupidity of patients and co-workers. Much of this judgmental behavior by co-workers and employers is based on how well they like you or how much they value you, which of course has nothing to do with what actually happened. This is quite a harsh penalty to pay for someone who goes to nursing school, finishes on top, and then is treated like a pariah in the workplace by co-workers and patients with idiotic notions.