I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
I have heard varying degrees also of this..but this story does give me the shivers!
I have heard paramedics tease about doing "lung sounds" and didn't catch onto what they were saying until I said during a ride along as a student nurse "here, let me do that I need the practice". They had to assess lung sounds in this case..but they kind of giggled a bit...ummmm well I saw why during my assessment and I thought "ohhhh LUNG sounds..I get it"(very large breasted young female). They really meant nothing by it...but I looked at them and said "all assessments on lungs will be done by me you pervs!"...we got a good giggle at that. Fire/paramedics have a very different sense of humor than most nurses (an NO they didn't say it within ear shot at all, and no hand gestures or drewling or anything like that).
No, these guys were totally professional in their assessments, and more into modesty for their patients by putting blankets over areas not being assessed far more than most nurses I have worked with! But I had to razz them on that one!!!!!!
But it did make me realize that that was on the edge of the knife so to speak...as far as humor vs professionalism. Then I heard an ER doc say the same thing..the nurses laughed and said they would do it...so the cycle continues on that phrase I guess..LOL! I was so slow to catch that one...duh~!
Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.
Again, thanks for the feedback everyone. I agree with TriageRn_34, if you've been in the field, you do run into "inappropriate" talk such as this. I'm sure we all have been guilty of it to some small or lesser degree, depending on the circumstances, as indicated by other posters...both, men and women. Most of the time, I do recall more women nurses making sexual statements (it could be just because I work with predominately women in this field), but just not as "crude as this guy". It creeps you out. Anyway, I've heard your comments. I plan to say more to this guy, in a professional manner, when he presents such lewd talk again...nipping him right in the bud...let's say, leave him speachless for a change. I agree, it could be because I'm a guy and he thinks its ok to talk to another guy in such manner. But, it is not ok. I prefer to work with Men and Women, not "adolescent boys". Essentially, it's time for him to grow up. If this does not resolve it, I will move up the hierarchial chain. Again, thanks for your comments.
It bothered me to read about the remarks he was making about women, but it really alarmed me reading about the remark he made about the underage girl, and "don't you get urges?" I REALLY hope that this is stopped, or that he gets canned.
I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
you are not a prude and good for you for attempting to get through his thick skull!
This has NOTHING to do with his age. Do not tollerate it. If you report it and nothing gets done go to HR. By law they are required to address this. This guy worrys me. and Should worry you. I disagree he in NOT a good nurse. His technical skills may be good but that does not make him a good nurse.
He is a dangerous and liable nurse. His conduct is reportable to the Board of nursing. He absolutely should NOT be alone with female patients.
Inappropriate sexist remarks are just stupid. Women maybe able to get away with some forms of it, but male nurses can't. There may be somewhat of a double standard, but if there is one, that's fine. I'm a male nurse with over 20 years experience, being part of a miniority I think we need to hold ourselves up to high standards especially when it comes to sexist remarks and behavior.
I question if I would report him unless he goes beyond. I would warn him though or maybe have a group meeting amongst friends/fellow employees about it. He's headed for disaster if he doesn't change his behavior.
Inappropriate remarks with co-workers are one thing. The behavior dosen't have to be tolerated, but I am able to tell when staff chose to be "flirty" with each other.
The reality is most sexual preditors are male. To be aware of this and not be concerned about him is unexcusable. He may be only immature,maybe he would never act upon his fantasies.
Graphic statments about female visitors and patients is a potential warning sign.
If this guy can't understand why his behavior is a cause for concern. I would have no problem letting him know, and making sure that my opinion was understood by his supervisor. He has to be watched . We have a duty to protect our patients, and I can't see any problems protecting the profession also.
Inappropriate sexist remarks are just stupid. Women maybe able to get away with some forms of it, but male nurses can't. There may be somewhat of a double standard, but if there is one, that's fine. I'm a male nurse with over 20 years experience, being part of a miniority I think we need to hold ourselves up to high standards especially when it comes to sexist remarks and behavior.
I question if I would report him unless he goes beyond. I would warn him though or maybe have a group meeting amongst friends/fellow employees about it. He's headed for disaster if he doesn't change his behavior.
So you will waite until he molest someone? (if he has not already) This guy absolutely fits the profile of a sexual criminal.
Err on the side of safty. Having a talk is not what this guy needs. He will not understand your talk. I repeat run do not walk to your BON.
Sounds like yet another person who went into nursing for all the wrong reasons.You would be wise to document what he says and when, so your not pulled into a sexual harrassment case one day! If you don't understand the severity of his comments in his position, well, your in trouble.
Antikigirl, ASN, RN
2,595 Posts
I have heard varying degrees also of this..but this story does give me the shivers!
I have heard paramedics tease about doing "lung sounds" and didn't catch onto what they were saying until I said during a ride along as a student nurse "here, let me do that I need the practice". They had to assess lung sounds in this case..but they kind of giggled a bit...ummmm well I saw why during my assessment and I thought "ohhhh LUNG sounds..I get it"(very large breasted young female). They really meant nothing by it...but I looked at them and said "all assessments on lungs will be done by me you pervs!"...we got a good giggle at that. Fire/paramedics have a very different sense of humor than most nurses (an NO they didn't say it within ear shot at all, and no hand gestures or drewling or anything like that).
No, these guys were totally professional in their assessments, and more into modesty for their patients by putting blankets over areas not being assessed far more than most nurses I have worked with! But I had to razz them on that one!!!!!!
But it did make me realize that that was on the edge of the knife so to speak...as far as humor vs professionalism. Then I heard an ER doc say the same thing..the nurses laughed and said they would do it...so the cycle continues on that phrase I guess..LOL! I was so slow to catch that one...duh~!