I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
Yep, Nurse Crude,Lewd, and Rude needs to be reported. My concern is with the other posters. You don't know what he might be doing behind closed doors w/ pts.
That type of behavior is grossly unprofessional regardless of which gender is doing it and should not be tolerated.
Personally ,I have 0 toleration for that type of behavior. I don't think of myself as prudish but there are limits to decency.
I think you sould give this guy a firm warning that what he is doing isn't cool and could get him into real trouble. People take sexual harrassment very seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've worked on ortho and med/surg floors with many different 20-something male RN's and have never run into one like this guy. The only male RN I've ever seen do this was a young gay fillipino RN I used to work with in Houston. He loved making comments about anal sex and was very obvious when he would lear at attractive male visitors. He made me very uncomfortable, even sick. (Even some of the doctors seemed to be a little suprised by the way he would drool over guys walking by the nurse's station.)I was the new RN there but I always thought it was strange that no other RN ever reported him to managment. When I complained to another nurse about his behavior she told me to just "clip his fairy wings.".....Never figured out how to do that.
I have seen the opposite happen. In Denver I worked with a very attractive male RN and young female pts would sometimes make lewd comments about him (to his face.) He was professional when things like that happened. He would give the female a very quick sort of half-hearted smile, then continue working.
The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same.
but, remember that some people do go into the medical profession or other social professions, that deal with vulnerable people, looking for opportunitys to use, abuse or otherwise take advantage of the trust that is put into their hands. He may be just a harmless twit, but he needs reprimanded one way or another.
Especially after watching the Montel show on Monday. For those of you who didn't see it, one segment was about a woman that went to the ER and while there was groped and inappropriately talked about by a male nurse. She apparently was semiconscious, could hear and feel what was going on, but couldn't do anything to stop it. Anyway, I agree with other posters, would you want him taking care of your daughter by himself, behind closed doors? This guy sounds like a real pervert and so do the docs that chime in with him. He needs to be turned into HR ASAP and booted out of there. You, your coworkers, and the hospital can't afford to let this guy continue to work there! He is a HUGE lawsuit waiting to happen! What's sad is that, even if he gets booted from your facility, this pervert will always be out there working somewhere. SCARY! It's people like this that gives nurses everywhere the bad image that stays with the public :angryfire
Sounds very immature. Take him aside and tell him straight up....let him know "as a colleague, i'm worried that your inappropriate behaviour is going to get you into some big trouble and other staff are talking about it too." This might get him thinking. And if not, hell yea...report it.
You are not a prude. Imagine how offensive he is to women if he is that offensive to you. I think a lot of people take the sexual harrassment a little too far, to the point that complimenting a woman can be considered offensive, but this is vey different. Perhaps he should go into construction work. The real shame is that that are so few male nurses out there and this guy is giving you all a bad rap.
You are so right to follow your instincts. This man is dangerous. His behavior is not a joke and it is not funny. Do your peers and possible future victims a favor and turn him into your human resourse group. If he has not already abused or raped someone, the chances are great that he will based on his behavior. Don't allow him to suck you in by asking if you have "urges". Predators love victims no matter who they are.
I'm an RN and I'm male. I have a colleague who is the same, but is very crude regarding his comments regarding women...making comments on their anatomy and what their private genitalia must look like as he salivates over his own personal images. Really, I find it rather disgusting. I try to chalk it up as that he is about 20 years younger than I am. Personally, I don't believe comments like his belong in our type of work environment, more appropriate at a construction site. To be honest, I wouldn't trust him around my 13 yr old daughter for fear of "checking her out". One day, when he salivated over his images, eyes glassing over, of what a 15/16 yr old female visitor's "pubic hair color must be...", I turned to him and said, "How old are you?" ....hoping that this comment would jar him out of this adolescent trance (by the way, he is in his mid twenties), he turned to me and said, "Aren't you man? Don't you get urges?" I didn't even comment. I keep my urges to myself. The other nurses, female, know how this RN is, but accept it by acknowledging that he is digusting and "that is just who he is" because he is a good nurse otherwise in his skills and rapport with the docs, especially the docs who like to talk the same. Am I a prude or what?
I find it difficult to speak up when I see verbal abuse directed to a third party. I often think, "Should I choose to get involved."
How we respond tells a lot about us. Every choice has its consequences.
Martin Niemöller was a preacher in Germany's in the 30's. At first, he did not speak out. But as he saw group after group taken away, he spoke out and he was arrested and send to a concentraton camp.
"No One Left" is a statement often attributed to Niemöller and it describes the tragic result of choosing to remain silent.
First they came for the Communists and I did not speak out--because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the Socialists and I did not speak out--because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out--because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews and I did not speak out--because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak out for me.
You have a special duty to speak out. He is looking for affirmation by sharing his thoughts with another male nurse. Silence gives him the affirmation he needs to continue this behaviour. Tell him how uncomfortable it makes you feel even though his comments are not directed at you. If he won't stop, invite him to only tell you such things if he does not mind you repeating his words to your manager and perhaps even sharing his words with his other colleagues. He won't want to have to wear the things that he is saying and in the long term he will probably benefit by the guidance. Make sure you give him fair warning and then follow through.
Am I the only one who noticed that???
virmm1, LPN
94 Posts
Yep, Nurse Crude,Lewd, and Rude needs to be reported. My concern is with the other posters. You don't know what he might be doing behind closed doors w/ pts.
That type of behavior is grossly unprofessional regardless of which gender is doing it and should not be tolerated.
Personally ,I have 0 toleration for that type of behavior. I don't think of myself as prudish but there are limits to decency.