Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

100kids, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2015

A 5th grader just came with the complaint that "my teeth are really sharp and they're scratching my tongue."

Now this might be the best one I have EVER heard!

kidzcare · Mar 12, 2015

Now this might be the best one I have EVER heard!

My favorite one I ever had was "my earlobes are squishy" It was the last week of school

CalNevaMimi, LPN, LVN · Mar 12, 2015

Sigh...I have a couple. "I think I have a fever because I drank too much milk last night." No fever. Advised that student to take it easy during recess. "I can't because my shoes are organic and make me run."

A&Ox6, MSN, RN · Mar 13, 2015

What about the kid who was sent to the nurse because he passed gas a few times.

The best pay is that they had had burritos for lunch...

GmaPearl BSN RN · Mar 13, 2015

First grader comes in from recess clutching her crotch and says, "My girly bits are magically hurting".

me: Did you fall onto something?

girl: No, it is just magical.

Phone call to mother.

Informed teacher who says she alway complains of some ailment at this time because she hates recess (there was a sub supervising recess that day).

Gotta say I love this job :)

NanaPoo · Mar 13, 2015

First grader comes in from recess clutching her crotch and says, "My girly bits are magically hurting".
:)

That's fantastic!

I have a kindergartener who used to say, "my new pajamas make my va-jay-jay itchy." Someone's been watching to much Oprah!!

I also had a 3rd grade girl come from the cafeteria with these mysterious red marks all over her right calf. She was very concerned. She pulled back her sock and she had a red mark around the circumference of her ankle. It turns out when you sit on your leg, the chair will leave marks on your leg AND your sock will leave marks around your ankle, too. Sadly, there is no medication for this condition.

SnowyJ, RN · Mar 13, 2015

This made my day....

bell1962 · Mar 13, 2015

Hair on the tongue! So funny this just happened to me today!

So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.
Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!
Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!
What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??

SnowyJ, RN · Mar 15, 2015

Aide rushes student to office:

"HE'S COUGHING UP BLOOD!!!!!!"

(Yes, that is because he had a bloody nose 20 minutes ago....)

Dear Lord. :sarcastic:

Anyone else have "blood phobic" staff? I have children with bloody noses sent to me with NO tissue because the teacher ushered them out so fast. By the time they get to me they look like "Carrie."

A picked zit= GO TO THE NURSE!!!!

A picked cuticle-GO TO THE NURSE!!!

A loose tooth that oozes a little...You can guess the rest.

Anyone else have this issue?

rbytsdy · Mar 15, 2015

I had a sub send a student to me yesterday who "vomited." Student appeared just fine as she ran into the office announcing vomit. I asked where this vomit was and she explained it was in the classroom trashcan. I went to the classroom to inspect the trashcan so sub plays dumb and says, "Oh, I didn't see it happen. She said she vomited in that trashcan."

Nada. Nothing. Zippo.

I told her i don't see anything and she explained back to me, "Well, I'm VERY busy." Oh yeah. You are busy babysitting this class. I can see that. Grrrr.....

If that wasn't bad enough, a little girl came running up to her with a belly ache as I was leaving. I tried to get away as quickly as possible but she started yelling, "Nuuurrrrssse! Nuuurrrsssseeee! This child needs to come see you." So I had child skipping down the hall after me to have her belly ache fully assessed.

Windchaser22 · Mar 15, 2015

4th grade boy...my dog has worms so I have worms and I think I feel them coming out of my eyes. What?????

fetch, BSN, RN · Mar 16, 2015

I had a sub send a student to me yesterday who "vomited." Student appeared just fine as she ran into the office announcing vomit. I asked where this vomit was and she explained it was in the classroom trashcan. I went to the classroom to inspect the trashcan so sub plays dumb and says, "Oh, I didn't see it happen. She said she vomited in that trashcan."
Nada. Nothing. Zippo.
I told her i don't see anything and she explained back to me, "Well, I'm VERY busy." Oh yeah. You are busy babysitting this class. I can see that. Grrrr.....
If that wasn't bad enough, a little girl came running up to her with a belly ache as I was leaving. I tried to get away as quickly as possible but she started yelling, "Nuuurrrrssse! Nuuurrrsssseeee! This child needs to come see you." So I had child skipping down the hall after me to have her belly ache fully assessed.

All of this is SO FAMILIAR. I now have 2 chairs in the hallway outside my clinic so that if I've already walked out, kiddo can have a seat instead of following me all around the school. (Well, that and because I literally only have 3 chairs in my clinic so sometimes triage has to spill into the hallway!)