Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

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So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.

Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!

Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!

What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??

Specializes in kids.
What gets me is the old "I threw up in the bathroom" bit. They look fine, they smell fine and they sit in my clinic 20 minutes without so mush as a gag while playing with my BP cuff and chatting with all of the other students coming in. Yesterday, I had on tell me he threw up 24 times in boys restroom between 8:30am and 11:00 AM.

Oh and even the mention about possible puke in a classroom and teachers are ready to call the nurse, the CDC, and 911! I see actual puke MAYBE 1-2 in an entire school year....

The first thing I offer them is mouthwash...when they decline it, I send them packing! If they puked in the bathroom, no way do they NOT want mouthwash!!!

Specializes in School nursing.
The first thing I offer them is mouthwash...when they decline it, I send them packing! If they puked in the bathroom, no way do they NOT want mouthwash!!!

I like that! I observe any potential pukers for 10 minutes myself, but I can usually tell in first 2 minutes whether or not their "I puked in the bathroom" was legit. I'd love to say I only see actual puke 1-2 a year, as since I work MS/HS I get plenty of fibers, but also plenty of kids who tell parents they are feeling sick, parents don't buy, send 'em to school, they puke.

And anxiety-related puking. That happens. All. The. Time. Even multiple times. And I know it is anxiety-related, kid says no it isn't, they puke 2 times, I end up in never-ending circle of conversations with parents, counselor, etc because of absences/visits/etc.

How about the "I threw up in my mouth"?! Just love those with their minty fresh breath.

Student: My heart is beating fast

Me: Where did you just come from?

Student: What were you doing?

Student: Running.

I must have been tired when I wrote that! It makes no sense! Let me try again.

Student: My heart is beating fast

Me: Where did you just come from?

Student: Gym

Me: What were you doing?

Student: Running

I had one yesterday come in with a headache and tell me she had been swimming at the Ramada with her friends, and she was told somebody peed in the pool. Of course, this 'headache' was legitimately caused by somebody peeing in the pool. lol.

The art teacher sent 3 girls today down for "ointment". What kind of ointment and where? well, the girls had no idea.

They each showed me superficial paper cuts to their fingers. No blood.

I made them wash their hands.

*facepalm*

Today I got "I got grossed out at lunch when a kid was squishing his peas like a booger & now I feel like I'm going to throw up." :no:

Specializes in School nursing.
Today I got "I got grossed out at lunch when a kid was squishing his peas like a booger & now I feel like I'm going to throw up." :no:

::sigh:: And all a kid has to say to the teacher is "I feel like I am going to throw up" and the teacher immediately sends them my way. Kids are not stupid. :banghead:

The art teacher sent 3 girls today down for "ointment". What kind of ointment and where? well, the girls had no idea.

They each showed me superficial paper cuts to their fingers. No blood.

I made them wash their hands.

*facepalm*

I sent an email 2-3 weeks ago that stated. "I have no ointments, creams, medicine, lotions, potions or magic spells". The requests for those things did not slow down for even a moment.

Not ridiculous, but cute:

13 year old boy: "Can I check my height?"

Me: "Why do you want to check your height?"

Him: "I want to see how tall I am."

Me: "..."

Specializes in School nurse.

5th grader....I think I have a fever and feel all shivery so my teacher sent me here. Child is wearing shorts and a tee shirt...in November...in NJ.

Me...are you cold? Child..yes. Me...where is your jacket? Child...in my classroom.

Specializes in School nursing.

Student: My nose starting bleeding a little in class. But it stopped. My teacher made me come down here anyway just in case.

Me (looking at student in front of me with no evidence of a bloody nose in sight): ...

Student: I know, I thought it was weird, too. But he told me I had to.

:banghead:

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