Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

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So, we really need a place to log the ridiculous reasons some kids have to get out of class and come see the nurse. You know, those pressing medical problems like, "my lips hurt." I had that one today.

Earlier this year I had a student come see me because she had a hair on her tongue!!

Somewhere there is a teacher giving these kids a clinic pass for these visits!

What are the crazy reasons to see the nurse at your clinic??

My favorite was the last week of school (of course) one year-- Student said his ear lobes felt "squishy". I told him that does not sound like a problem I could help him with and showed him the door.

I drew the line at dog poop on a shoe-- NOT a medical issue. Also a student rubbing his crotch in class (like up the leg of his shorts, all class long). Not for me to talk to the kids about!

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

Hahahahaha! That made me laugh, JenElizabethRN! Because it reminded me of all the kids that come to the clinic and say, "my nose was bleeding." 95% of the time it was a dried, bloody booger that came out on a tissue & they come running to the clinic with said "nosebleed." When they can produce no blood they are sent marching back to class. Hysterical.

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you guys make me laugh !! thank you

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Specializes in Acute Care, CM, School Nursing.
Student: My nose starting bleeding a little in class. But it stopped. My teacher made me come down here anyway just in case.

Me (looking at student in front of me with no evidence of a bloody nose in sight): ...

Student: I know, I thought it was weird, too. But he told me I had to.

:banghead:

OMG, this happens to me constantly!! I'll ask what the problem is, and the child says, "I have a bloody nose." But, absolutely no blood in sight! Teachers go nuts over a perceived nose bleed...

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For the nosebleeds that stop before reaching my office, I just have the kids wash hands/face and tell them "you know where to come if it starts up again"

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Specializes in Pedi.

Just had:

Student #1: "Remember when you gave me ice after I bumped my knee yesterday? Can I have some more?" - when asked if he used ice last night at home he said "I forgot." When asked if he needed to come get ice and rest it during recess instead of while sitting and reading during class he says "nevermind" with a big smile.

Student :2: "I got scratched on my eyelid last week and it stings"

Both from the same substitute teacher within a half hour of each other.

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I am loving all of these!! SO glad it's not just me!

Some of my favorites:

"I'm BLEEDING!!" (Picked a zit on their chin.)

"I got bumped by a folder." (No sign of injury.)

"My teacher sent me down because I don't look good." (Feels fine, vital signs fine. Looks ok to me.)

"My dress is ripped. Can you sew it?" (Nope. I am terrible at sewing. Hem had fallen, so I taped it.)

"My tooth is loose." (Ummm ok...Congratulations on a future visit by the tooth fairy?)

The two things the kids KNOW will get them out of class FAST are "I have a sore throat" and "I feel like I am going to throw up." About 95% of the time, it's not legit. But they get out of class for a bit. MATH is the most common precursor to "Faker-itis."

And of course, my favorite, shared by others, the lovely "dog poop on my shoe" issue. WTH????

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The "ointment" teacher just sent 2 more kids down for ointment. I really have to try to craft an email to her without laughing.

She also sent a 7th grade boy down for a pin. He had a hole in his shirt under his armpit. I sent him back, sans pin. I know the kid. He would end up getting stuck and then I'd really have an issue...

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Specializes in Telemetry, Gastroenterology, School Nrs.

Here's another funny one:

High school student freaking out because her hands were turning blue. Once her hands started changing color she could immediately feel her chest tightening and complained that she was having difficulty breathing. Went through the necessary questions and then took a closer look at her hands. My next question: Are you wearing new jeans? Have they been washed yet?? Yep... The blue on her hands was the dye from her BRAND NEW JEANS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

SnowyJ, you speak the truth that math class is the most frequent time students have sore throats, bloody pimples, hairy tongues, or whatever maladies they can dream up at the moment. We should seriously start keeping stats on what class our ridiculous reason kids are cutting when they come to see us.

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Today a 2nd grader came in because her hair was tangled and her mom couldn't get it out.

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Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

Resurrecting this thread because:

A 5th grader just came with the complaint that "my teeth are really sharp and they're scratching my tongue."

Have a seat and let me file those puppies down for ya!

This is the same kid who came to the clinic when his foot fell asleep in class and asked "is there a pill you can give me for that?" Seriously, how will these kids manage adulthood?

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