Ridiculous Reasons to See the Nurse

JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN · Sep 15, 2015

The "I don't feel good" followed by the huge fake tears and whining so bad I can't understand what part doesn't feel good. I want to hide under my desk when I see this one coming toward my door, seriously I want to hide!

When this happens, I just stare them down for a couple of seconds, then I say, "I see you're upset, but if I can't understand you, I can't help you. Why don't you get a cup of water and sit." Within 1 minute, their demeanor is changed, usually to bubbly student that forgot they are supposed to be so very sick (faking is so hard to keep up, you know!). 2 minutes after that, they are usually back on their way to class... :troll:

SchoolNurseTXstyle · Sep 15, 2015

I just had a kid that was still a little numb from the dental work he had done 2 hours prior. He wanted an ice pack for it! When I explained that would make the area more numb and not less - his reply "how about a milkshake?" I told him if I did have one of those that I would probably drink it myself and not share.

NurseKitKat · Sep 16, 2015

I have a lot of these visits as well....what are the teachers thinking lol? Sometimes I will catch up with them and ask...usually it's because the TEACHER needed a break from the student.... :cyclops:

SnowyJ, RN · Sep 16, 2015

A picked pimple. No lie. Nurse worthy? really? :sarcastic:

GoosbyLPN · Sep 16, 2015

I'm a High school nurse...

I've heard I have a headache, my stomach hurts, the lunch food made me sick. but these are the same kids that curse teachers out..smh

CalNevaMimi, LPN, LVN · Sep 16, 2015

Me, a million times a day at this new school, "If you don't have a fever, you're okay to stay at school." Sick of myself already.

GoosbyLPN · Sep 16, 2015

Scratched a bump, mints, deodorant, I got a new tattoo u have some cream for it. (high school students)

tranquillight · Sep 16, 2015

Just saw a student who stated her hands hurt because she was clapping too hard.. :banghead:

ethiopia · Sep 17, 2015

How about this, I just saw a student who complained his finger was hurting because he was just shocked by the water fountain. But here's the kicker, he was escorted by the AP, who then stated to me when you call his mom tell her I've been trying to reach her. Call his mom, huh, whaaa?

LMTCBnurse · Sep 19, 2015

I had a K student come in not once but twice today for bloody nose. When I asked him the second time why he thought it kept happening, he told me it was because he was putting his pencil up his nose. I told him if he would keep his pencil out of his nose, it wouldn't bleed. I saw him going to the bus at the end of the day and he saw me, smiled and said "you were right, it didn't bleed this afternoon".

Also had a student come to my office with a note from the teacher. The note said "she thinks she is blind". I read it twice and then asked the girl how she got to the nurses office (it's a big school). The K student told me she walked. I told her to walk back to class with the same note but wrote "Really?" on it.

And finally today had a student walk from gym class to office to tell me she had broken both her legs in gym class. I asked her to pull up her pants so I could look at the broken bones. She said forget it, I'll go back to gym class.

I am glad it is Friday.

Rsrfrn · Sep 19, 2015

Had one of my frequent flyers escort his friend down to tell me his friend ate a pink hamburger at lunch. I told him to return if he had any symptoms (?). Not satisfied with my medical advice, tried to use phone in main office to go home.

Farawyn · Sep 22, 2015

"I don't want to BE here!"

*tears*

Neither do I, kiddo. Neither do I.