"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

[Marie_LPN, RN]

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I agree w/those who say Christmas is more than just a day; those who are unwilling to remember this are the ones who are teaching their kids (whom they profess to need to day off for) all the WRONG lessons.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

The request for Christmas off doesn't bother me as much as the implication that I don't matter because I have no children.

'

That's what i got from it as well.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.

I don't have to think of it, i lived it. I also realized even at that young of an age that it wasn't the end of the world.

[menolly_33]

I am single, have no children and have often recieved both spoken and unspoken messages from those with children that I am somehow less important then they are, and should be willing to work whenever they do not wish to. Fortunately, most nurses are not like that. I move often, love to travel, so I rarely spend more that 2 years at a facility (Usually am so sick of the politics by then, I can't wait to leave) so I am usually low on the senority level, and will have to work the holidays anyway. this is great, I really like working on Christmas day and Thanksgiving day. I usually get fed several times and enjoy the company of many extended "families" that feel sorry I have to work and are being kind. I also find that those of us that are working have a wonderful time celebrating the season. I work ER and the patients are very thankful and apolegic for making us work the holiday. I usually offer to trade with someone with kids, but if I had been told I should work because I don't have children I would sit a home alone if I hadn't made plans before I would trade with that selfish, rude, inconsiderate idiot.

I have great respect to the moms I work with, I don't know how they manage to do both jobs as well as most of them do. But I do work with a small minority that seem to use their kids as an excuse for everything. I work with one nurse right now that is late every weekday because she has to take her kids to school - shift starts at 0700 - her kids are in jr high and high school. Now they do have school buses in my town, and all the other nurses are on time and their children manage to get to school. I wondered, but did not say outloud, did you just get these kids yesterday? You know when school starts and when they must be at school, make other arrangements. :angryfire

But mostly the moms and dads I work with have my admiration and awe, I just don't know how ya'll do everything and still stay sane. :rotfl:

[rach_nc_03]

i have several thoughts on this subject. back when i worked in the corporate world, a good friend and coworker told me he was going to be leaving every tuesday and thursday at 4 (we often had conference calls lasting til 7 PM) so he could go to his kid's soccer games. he said, 'you know, i'm a father, and that comes first in my life.' i sat down with him and said, 'that's great, pete. but you being a father isn't the first priority in *my* life- and me being a musician isn't the first priority in yours. (i was going to have to miss rehearsals to cover all these conference calls for him) so we need to find a way to compromise here.' since we were friends, it was a good, honest conversation that ensued- and he admitted he *did* feel like childless people should cover for parents when kid things cropped up- deep down, he felt like people who weren't parents were really not fully people- their priorities could never be as important as those of people with children. his attitude changed after that conversation, thankfully. fast-forward to this career...my fiancee is in the military, stationed overseas. for months, we've known he'd be on leave the least few days of october and the first few of november- it'll be the last time we see each other until next july. we self-schedule on my unit with an online tool, but have the ability to write a request note to the final schedule-approval committee members. so i basically said, 'if you let me have this time (which includes halloween), i'm happy to work as many nights, weekends, or holidays that are needed'. turned out that i got that time off, and i got christmas off as well. i'm not big on christmas anyway, so i really wouldn't mind working... i worked thanksgiving, christmas and new year's last year at my old job. but i actually had a couple of people complain that i got halloween *and* christmas off. i guess my point is that compromise is just necessary when you're dealing with scheduling in almost any non- 8 to 5 job. i'm not going to cover for someone just because they have a child, period. it's one of my pet peeves, and i've seen it over and over again in various jobs. i'm happy to cover somebody else at a time they want off, if they'll cover for me in this situation. or if i want to pick up some overtime. but don't ask me to work for you for no reason other than you have a child.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Quote:

However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.

I don't have to think of it, i lived it. I also realized even at that young of an age that it wasn't the end of the world.

Me too. Dad was overseas fighting a war several Christmas's. I survived. Parents can make the best Christmas they can for their children. I don't really here much drama from the kids themselves, kids are fine as long as Christmas arrives and their parents make the best of it. Kids are more resiliant that one might think, it's the parents that are unwilling to bend sometime.

[Fun2, BSN, RN]

I understand what y'all are saying. However, looking back at my life, I see football games, concerts, etc that my mother was too ill to attend. I realize that she couldn't help it, and I got over it, but I'd rather her have been there.

Same goes with Christmas.

I can't truely think that anyone could say, "I don't care if I'm at home on Christmas" if they have small children. Yes, it's something we will have to deal with, but the desire WILL NOT change, and I don't have a problem with saying it. I have always wanted to be in the medical field, and I know the sacrifices that will bring, but won't change my thoughts at all.

I just hope I can bring some Christmas cheer to those having to celebrate Christmas alone in the hospital.

Me too. Dad was overseas fighting a war several Christmas's. I survived. Parents can make the best Christmas they can for their children. I don't really here much drama from the kids themselves, kids are fine as long as Christmas arrives and their parents make the best of it. Kids are more resiliant that one might think, it's the parents that are unwilling to bend sometime.

[SharonH, RN]

Me too. Dad was overseas fighting a war several Christmas's. I survived. Parents can make the best Christmas they can for their children. I don't really here much drama from the kids themselves, kids are fine as long as Christmas arrives and their parents make the best of it. Kids are more resiliant that one might think, it's the parents that are unwilling to bend sometime.

Me three. Both of my parents worked, many holidays and weekends, not all. I wished they could have been home all the time but they couldn't that was a fact of life and I was never devastated by it. Honestly, it is the parents who make too big of a deal out of things.

[prmenrs, RN]

Marie: did you get Christmas off?

It is my turn to work it (as part time casual, my 'committment' is to work one summer and one winter holiday, but I do try to do either 4th of July or Christmas), but my mother has decreed: don't work Christmas this year!!!! And I'm kinda afraid to cross her sometimes!!!

[babynurselsa, RN]

I think the major point here is we all have the desire to be with our loved ones on the holidays. No person here is making light of the fact we would all wish to not be working on these special occasions. The sticking point is someone has too. We can all try to rationalize a perfectly good reason why we are more entitled than the next person to not have to be there.

That is why there HAS to be a fair system in place so that everyone gets the opportunity to do so. Every person is of value and is deserving celebrating holidays with their own family regardless of whether they have kids or puppies.

I have absolutely no patience whatsoever with persons who deem themselves more special than everyone else because they have children, a sad story, a sense of entitlement, or just an over all don't give a crap attitude about anyone but themselves.

I am sick of encountering these folks at work, in the grocery store, on the highway or anywhere else.

[rn in 3 years]

I am not a nurse yet and heck maybe I may sound like a jerk about this. But I am not working Christmas day or Thanksgiving day. Period. I don't mind working any other holiday or taking other wacky shifts. But those two days each year I would want to spend with my family and I refuse to work them. Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving or the day before, Easter, my birthday or anything else I don't care. I don't think having kids or not having kids should affect who gets days off. I just refuse to work those two specific days. I realize as I write this that I must sound like such a brat.

Good luck w/ that!

Seriously, When I am a RN I want to work in a hospital setting. That is my choice and it means that I will have to work holidays and I will do so willingly. Heck, I even expect that until I have some senority under my belt to be scheduled for ALL the holidays...LOL!

Can I ask, what is the normal holiday pay?

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I understand what y'all are saying. However, looking back at my life, I see football games, concerts, etc that my mother was too ill to attend. I realize that she couldn't help it, and I got over it, but I'd rather her have been there.

Same goes with Christmas.

I can't truely think that anyone could say, "I don't care if I'm at home on Christmas" if they have small children. Yes, it's something we will have to deal with, but the desire WILL NOT change, and I don't have a problem with saying it. I have always wanted to be in the medical field, and I know the sacrifices that will bring, but won't change my thoughts at all.

I just hope I can bring some Christmas cheer to those having to celebrate Christmas alone in the hospital.

Please don't misunderstand me. I wish my dad could have been there for Xmas and other times. I don't think that for a minute my dad didn't want to be with us either. I'm sure Xmas was a lonely and miserable time for him. The point being he was in a profession that demanded he be away, I didn't mean to imply that any of us liked it. But we adjusted and got over it.