"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

(And i'm speaking to the supervisor about the three-day weekend thing, my hide's about chapped over that issue....)

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

the way we do it is simple (and works):

We keep the prior year's schedule/holidays-worked list. Those who did not work Christmas last year, get to the next, and those who did not work Thanksgiving, can expect to, the next year. Basically, we try to work it out all reasonably and relatively few have ever had a problem---many volunteer for holidays for the increase in pay or because they don't mind working one or the other........ There just is no room for dispute, the way we do it.

It's a system of alternating holidays that is fair for everyone, whether they have kids, or not. I have worked Christmas Eve nightshift, (getting my Christmas requirement in) to enable me to be home in the a.m. to open gifts w/the kids. That is how I get what I want/need and my coworkers, do, too.

But no special consideration/treatment is given people with kids over the holidays, any more than those who are either childfree or have grown ones. And senior nurses don't get to stick the junior ones with ALL the holidays. Everyone has to work her share. It works fine for us.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

Well, that's typically how our schedule goes to, however, some people will trade their holidays. They rotate people so that they aren't working the same holidays they worked the last year. And some people will trade amongst themselves, and that works out just fine. And no squabbles over it whatsoever.

I wouldn't be so burnt from it had she not added the "What do you need Christmas off for" remark.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
(And i'm speaking to the supervisor about the three-day weekend thing, my hide's about chapped over that issue....)

cannot blame you. She can't get away w/this.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Well did you TELL her how rude and inappropriate that comment really is?

Maybe she is THAT clueless.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I told her how rude she was being ("it's really rude and very unfair to just assume that someone with no kids doesn't want time off. End of discussion"). If i hadn't have, someone probably would have checked to see if i still had a pulse lol.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

I usually will trade off and let someone have New Year's Eve off if they'll switch and let me have Christmas or Christmas Eve off. But dang! that woman had some nerve! I'd probably have said no just on principle.

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Enjoy your holiday Marie. I have "kids", well teenagers....I wouldn't expect someone to either trade to give me time off, nor ask me to trade so their younger children will have mom or dad home. Where I work, we MUST work either Christmas Eve, or Christmas day...whichever we didn't do the previous year. I have never, EVER had Thanksgiving off, my schedule just happens to work out that way (if I stay here long enough, I'll eventually have several years where I don't have to work Thanksgiving, heh). I have never had to work Easter either, because I don't do weekends.

That was just selfishness on her part, I think.

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Did she not know that as a nurse there is a strong possibility that she may be working holidays?

I figure this, why do I deem ONE day in the entire year to make important when I should really be making EVERY SINGLE DAY important to me and my children's relationship.

Besides, what better selfless act to give on the day to celebrate the birth of christ than taking care of someone that really needs you?

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I usually work every Christmas, when I am in the US. It is not my holiday and I don't have kids, and I like to let someone be off and with their family. I am not required to do so, but always will volunteer, but if someone approached me with that attitude?? I would be at home watching movies with my kids, just on principle. And they can't read a calendar.

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Specializes in M/S, OB, Ortho, ICU, Diabetes, QA/PI.

good for you, Marie, not backing down - this chick sounds like a real peach to work with.....

I've never had it said so rudely and bluntly but BK (before kids) I knew people were thinking it when I refused to trade shifts for Christmas - tough noogies - Christmas is for everyone, not just kids and every second year, we leave the country for Christmas (ooooh, all the way to Canada)

after I had kids, I wasn't able to stay late and work 16-18 hrs at a time, but I sure as heck worked my holidays and sucked it up - we just adapted - one year, we had Christmas on Christmas Eve (we told the kids that sometimes Santa does nurses' houses early so they can take care of people on Christmas Day and give them a good Christmas) - other years, when I worked nights, I toughed it out and stayed awake to see the kids open their presents and then went to bed while my husband cooked dinner.........

people who go into nursing and then complain about holidays in spite of the fact that it is not a secret that patients still need to be taken care of on those holidays are seriously deluded - if it's a problem, they need to work at an outpatient clinic or doctor's office or something a little more M-F

I seriously hope your supervisor nips her nonsense in the bud - talk about pushing your luck!!!! :uhoh21:

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