"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

[Marie_LPN, RN]

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

[mysticalwaters1]

Maybe I was hastey in the way that I said what I said. I am not a person who can't comprimise. I am willing to change shifts so that I work in the middle of the night if I have to. I know I sound selfish, its just that my father died young and in my childhood I lost many family members. My father had a job that took alot of hours out of him including holidays and stuff like that. I remember all those times we had to watch him go to work and he missed out on family holidays and other stuff like that. In the end he died and nothing we could do could get back those special times we missed. I am not saying that I deserve my holidays more then anyone else does. Trust me I don't think that way. I am just saying that I would be willing to do alot to get certain days off. I don't have to face the issue yet so I won't worry about it until then. I understand what you mean about how everyone deserves to get there hoildays off. When I get to these times I will find someway of solving the issue. I realize how selfish it sounds its just that through experience life is too short to lose out on those certain times with your family and friends.

I can see that but the problem is I know in my hospital many full time positions are "FT, Every other weekend, every other holiday." You can work partime or perdiem but even there there is like 1-2 hollidays on a rotation required to work as a term of the position. You can try to work around it but I've heard sometimes HR will lie or don't present everything required, ex new nurses being told pt nurse ration 1:5 when it's really 1:7. Generally at least in hospital setting I don't know if that could be compromised. You can try every holliday try to switch with a willing coworker but that may not work. Anyway good luck maybe you're not even considering hospital staff nursing.

[z's playa]

Couldn't it be that anyone with kids 10 yrs old and under at least should have xmas morning off? My kids are 20 and 23 yrs old but still want mommy there on xmas morning with presents from santa!!!Biggest day of year for kids moms should be there!!!

So EVERYONE should have Xmas morning off ....because remember.........EVERYONE is someones kid or mother ? Sorry. Sounds unreasonable to me..not to say totally stupid !

Z

[Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN]

I am not a nurse yet and heck maybe I may sound like a jerk about this. But I am not working Christmas day or Thanksgiving day. Period. I don't mind working any other holiday or taking other wacky shifts. But those two days each year I would want to spend with my family and I refuse to work them. Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving or the day before, Easter, my birthday or anything else I don't care. I don't think having kids or not having kids should affect who gets days off. I just refuse to work those two specific days. I realize as I write this that I must sound like such a brat.

If you work in a clinic with office hours, you will probably get these holidays off. If you work in a hospital, nursing home, hospice, or prison, you will have to take your turn like everyone else.

If you are scheduled and you refuse to work them, what are you going to do?

No show and get fired?

[sunnyjohn]

I am not a nurse yet and heck maybe I may sound like a jerk about this. But I am not working Christmas day or Thanksgiving day. Period. I don't mind working any other holiday or taking other wacky shifts. But those two days each year I would want to spend with my family and I refuse to work them. Christmas Eve, the day after Thanksgiving or the day before, Easter, my birthday or anything else I don't care. I don't think having kids or not having kids should affect who gets days off. I just refuse to work those two specific days. I realize as I write this that I must sound like such a brat.

If you work in a 24 hour facility , how are you going to avoid it? Tell me your secret!

[DusktilDawn]

Maybe I was hastey in the way that I said what I said. I am not a person who can't comprimise. I am willing to change shifts so that I work in the middle of the night if I have to. I know I sound selfish, its just that my father died young and in my childhood I lost many family members. My father had a job that took alot of hours out of him including holidays and stuff like that. I remember all those times we had to watch him go to work and he missed out on family holidays and other stuff like that. In the end he died and nothing we could do could get back those special times we missed. I am not saying that I deserve my holidays more then anyone else does. Trust me I don't think that way. I am just saying that I would be willing to do alot to get certain days off. I don't have to face the issue yet so I won't worry about it until then. I understand what you mean about how everyone deserves to get there hoildays off. When I get to these times I will find someway of solving the issue. I realize how selfish it sounds its just that through experience life is too short to lose out on those certain times with your family and friends.

Bear in mind Sticky, it's not about the date, it's about the time spent with your loved ones and how we use it that creates our cherished memories. I'll always remember the time my dad knit a blanket for my doll because I was upset that she didn't have one (first and last time I ever seen him knit). This did not happen because it was any special holiday.

I live in Canada and we're celebrating Thanksgiving (2nd Monday of October),

to all Canadian allnurses. http://www.thanksgiving-traditions.com/html/canada.html

I work in the states, so on November 27th I don't mind working for my American colleagues. In fact, since there are alot of Canadian nurses crossing the border to work in the states I'm going to discuss this holiday with my UM when I get the opportunity, perhaps a Can-Am compromise can be made for this holiday.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Maybe I was hastey in the way that I said what I said. I am not a person who can't comprimise. I am willing to change shifts so that I work in the middle of the night if I have to. I know I sound selfish, its just that my father died young and in my childhood I lost many family members. My father had a job that took alot of hours out of him including holidays and stuff like that. I remember all those times we had to watch him go to work and he missed out on family holidays and other stuff like that. In the end he died and nothing we could do could get back those special times we missed. I am not saying that I deserve my holidays more then anyone else does. Trust me I don't think that way. I am just saying that I would be willing to do alot to get certain days off. I don't have to face the issue yet so I won't worry about it until then. I understand what you mean about how everyone deserves to get there hoildays off. When I get to these times I will find someway of solving the issue. I realize how selfish it sounds its just that through experience life is too short to lose out on those certain times with your family and friends.

I understand.

Please, please make it easier on yourself and your coworkers who are going to have to work for you to have the day and and DO NOT TAKE A JOB unless you tell them right up front you will not compromise and will not work holidays period. If they can't work with you, then pass on that job. It's not appropriate to take a job, cross that bridge when you get there and hope for the best.

I can't stand it when people take a job with 24/7/365 coverage, know they might have to work holidays and when the time comes get all stank and refuse, call in sick,quit or whatever. Because like you there are people with just as strong reasons for having those days off and you're not anymore entitled than they are. Nor is it fair to bend the policies of working holidays because you're willing to work any shift any time to get the day off. Why would you want to torture yourself with a job like that year after year.

Maybe a per diem job with no holiday committment could be found when you're looking for a job. I wish you well.

[Teachchildren123]

Hi Marie!

I have no kids. Last year I worked X-mas eve and the nurse with kids worked my New Year's eve. She too is saying that the nurses without kids should work all holidays.:angryfire

This would include Halloween, probably her birthday, her husband's, her neighbour's and may be her cat's!!!!:chuckle

She is going on and on about it, and never in front of the childless, of course. She is actually paying someone to work for her. I told her that she could always celebrate x-mas on her day off. The kids won't even know the difference, or explain kiddos the situation and make a game out of it. This could be the opportunity to teach the kids about responsibilities too!

May be she could be less selfish and think that, I would share good times with children, if only I had them or may be I will spent the holidays with the 10 grand-children my hubby has.

Or just with me and him. :kiss :biere: :smiley_aa

Anyways, I will never do her a favor anymore. I prefer picking up on my own, if it pleases me. I used to be very flexible for her and others, she blew it.

Anyways, why on earth would you enter nursing, work the night shift and expect to spend holidays with your family? May be we should close the hospital for people like her.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Signed up to work Christmas Eve, as well as New Years' Eve. Problem solved for me. I will not have to worry about Christmas Day or Thanksgiving this year. I am glad we work it out so well where I am employed.

[Teachchildren123]

I called the male RN that just got his 1st baby and told him that I was picking-up Xmas eve for him as a "welcome to the world-new-baby!"

He is very professionel and well, I can do this for him! He was happy!

[DusktilDawn]

I called the male RN that just got his 1st baby and told him that I was picking-up Xmas eve for him as a "welcome to the world-new-baby!"

He is very professionel and well, I can do this for him! He was happy!

That is such a thoughful, wonderful gift Connyrn, I'm sure your colleague was very touched by this. :)

[Plagueis]

This refusal to work Christmas seems to also apply to other major holidays, such as Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Independence Day, and New Year's Day, at least based on the number of callouts nursing homes seems to have on those days. Most nurses/CNAs that I know don't want to work those days, but many realize that they chose a career that requires work every day of the year. There are also plenty of nurses/aides who call out on weekends, using the Kid card, meaning that since they have kids, they should be exempt from working weekends. If you want to work in nursing, you should realize that patients/residents need care every day. It's not fair that only employees with kids gets holidays and/or weekends off.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Maybe I was hastey in the way that I said what I said. I am not a person who can't comprimise. I am willing to change shifts so that I work in the middle of the night if I have to. I know I sound selfish, its just that my father died young and in my childhood I lost many family members. My father had a job that took alot of hours out of him including holidays and stuff like that. I remember all those times we had to watch him go to work and he missed out on family holidays and other stuff like that. In the end he died and nothing we could do could get back those special times we missed. I am not saying that I deserve my holidays more then anyone else does. Trust me I don't think that way. I am just saying that I would be willing to do alot to get certain days off. I don't have to face the issue yet so I won't worry about it until then. I understand what you mean about how everyone deserves to get there hoildays off. When I get to these times I will find someway of solving the issue. I realize how selfish it sounds its just that through experience life is too short to lose out on those certain times with your family and friends.

And this attitude really stinks...Many,many nurses have tragic stories just like yours-who decides which staff members deserve the day off the most? That's why rotating is the fairest way to approach the holidays....My father died when I was young-my mother had to take a job in a facility that was open 365 days a year and often missed holidays and other days that were important to me,too.So there I was-home alone as a young girl with no parent on many,many holidays...should I have them all off now? With that attitude don't count on many co-workers bending over backwards to help you out any other time either....Are 2 days of the years really THAT important? I learned that when your children are really young they don't know it's Christmas morning until YOU tell them it is-----