It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
my family no longer celebrates christmas in the modern way. we do not buy presents and such. we have everything we really need, as we've been very fortunate as a family. our main goal is to spend time together. i don't have kids, but i love my nieces and nephews like crazy. because we are geographically challenged, whether this actually happens on or about christmas is immaterial. we've had christmas in august. what matters is that we manage to get together, share a meal, go to services, go bowling, ski, relax...whatever. as a group, we've decided to forgo the hype. .where i work, we're required to work one of the 3 "holidays" and be on-call for another. if you want to trade, you put your name on a list, and the trade is fairly made by the scheduler, first come, first serve.
thank you for posting this. it's almost like single people don't exist sometimes.
:kiss
i agree - this was the topic of a "sex in the city" episode, and believe me, i was cheering. its not that i want to take anything away from people who are married, having babies, etc. that's great, and i love to celebrate, but i'd love it if my choices in life were celebrated, too. sure, i'd love to find the partner of my dreams, but that hasn't happened, yet. maybe it never will. i've accepted that may be the case. but to hear people presume to think that i "don't matter" because i don't have biological children or a partner is revolting.
My opinion is that if these people that have kids feel they need to spend every holiday and event with them, then maybe they should find a m-f, 9-5, no weekends, no holidays. i think these attitudes set bad examples for kids. I want my children to know that mommy is a hardworker and that sometimes that means being away from them. When i was kid nobody ever complained about working, they were thankful to have a job, both of my parents worked, they didn't make it to every single activity, and guess what??? I lived!! and their children will to!
My little angels always woke up early Christmas morning when they were younger. Now that they're teenangels, they rarely wake up early...BUT, two years ago when I worked Christmas Day, they got up at 4 so we could spend the morning together before I went to work. Of course the kids and husband all went back to sleep after I left. This is my year to work Christmas Day again, and I'm sure we'll have a repeat. Actually, when I think about it, I'd rather work Christmas Day than Christmas Eve....seems I have more time to spend with them and the rest of the family.
My little angels always woke up early Christmas morning when they were younger. Now that they're teenangels, they rarely wake up early...BUT, two years ago when I worked Christmas Day, they got up at 4 so we could spend the morning together before I went to work. Of course the kids and husband all went back to sleep after I left. This is my year to work Christmas Day again, and I'm sure we'll have a repeat. Actually, when I think about it, I'd rather work Christmas Day than Christmas Eve....seems I have more time to spend with them and the rest of the family.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
If someone asked me to trade Christmas because I don't have kids, I would have said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting a kid for Christmas." Then I would have walked away.
~Crystal
YES!!! Just what this situation calls for-a devastating comeback....."Those kids really interfere with your work schedule,don't they?That's why I choose not to breed"....I certainly would not get my panties in a a twist over the opinion of this rude,self-centered brat.Why care about her opinion? Women like this slay me---they think that breeding is a divine gift from God so the rest of us should make allowances for them and their kids....And get out of the way of those big tandem strollers in the mall-they'll flatten you....Forget a meal out in a family style restaurant-some families don't train their children at all....I have a 15 yr old...I always worked my share of holidays....My co-workers and nurse managers have always been willing to help me schedule off for those "once in a lifetime" things-like the first day of school...mainly because I have always been flexible and helped out others when I could..My attitude has been "I don't CARE why you need off and I'll trade if I can since it is important to you"
it took me years to understand what she meant. when you're spending christmas at the hospital, away from your family, it's nice to have a patient who appreciates your sacrifice rather than bemoaning their own spoiled holiday. and when you're a patient on christmas morning, it's nice to have a nurse who doesn't begrudge you her time away from her own family.
i always work christmas night 7pm-7am, and it's never really a chore to come in. everyone makes the best of it, because the fact is, holidays are part of hospital work and we've accepted it for the most part. plus, the parents of all our babies spoil us - they bring us so many treats over the holidays, and they always seem to make it a point to thank us for working that day/night. no one wants to be there - the familes or us - but since we have no choice, why be in a bad mood about it? we hang little christmas stockings on the ends of the cribs and incubators, make holiday cards for the parents with polaroids and handprints from their babies, etc. we acknowledge the fact that, while it may suck that we have to work the holidays, it's a whole lot worse for those parents whose sick babies are in the nicu.
However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.
It's up to the parents how they present the situation to the kids. My dad works most holidays, and he always did while I was growing up. I understood that he worked in a hospital and that it was a place that never closed. If he was gone on Christmas morning, while I'd miss him, I would just open presents with my mom and look forward to seeing him later in the day. My parents never made it a big deal - just said, "Dad's working today, he'll be home later and then we'll have our Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner." I was actually quite proud to have a dad that was willing to be at the hospital on a holiday helping people - it's one of the things that turned me on to the medical profession in the first place. His compassion for others has always been an inspiration to me.
So it's not always a tragedy, having to work the holidays. It's all a matter of perspective.
So true... My youngest is 8, if all goes as planned, when I have my first Christmas as an RN, she will be 11.
...Old enough to be realize mom isn't there, but old enough to realize the importance of my absence. However, that will not ever change the fact that I would rather be there.
...And yet again, I'll say my opinion about the OP's comment, I agree with her (Marie_LPN's) stronghold on her decision. People shouldn't use their children as an excuse to get what they want.
It's up to the parents how they present the situation to the kids. My dad works most holidays, and he always did while I was growing up. I understood that he worked in a hospital and that it was a place that never closed. If he was gone on Christmas morning, while I'd miss him, I would just open presents with my mom and look forward to seeing him later in the day. My parents never made it a big deal - just said, "Dad's working today, he'll be home later and then we'll have our Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner." I was actually quite proud to have a dad that was willing to be at the hospital on a holiday helping people - it's one of the things that turned me on to the medical profession in the first place. His compassion for others has always been an inspiration to me.
So it's not always a tragedy, having to work the holidays. It's all a matter of perspective.
Specializes in ER (new), Respitory/Med Surg floor.
WOW! Luckily I don't hear much of this from coworkers but it does come up and stinks! I'm single and live with my dad and younger brother still and am co-owner of my house thanks to my nursing job. I also play in a community band and I'll hear well i have kids you don't I need that day off for first day of school (when hello your 3-11 full time already you must have figured something out to continue the job)!!! I love kids and want some later but jeepers, I mean we all deserve our time off. I'm busy too is what I mean.
My hospital has self scheduling as well and I LOVE it but you have to set it as your priority and follow it closely. Another pet peeve of mine...you have vacation time... USE IT!!!!!! Don't complain to me b/c I do. Jeeze! Our self scheduling rotates and we are suppose to try and keep it balanced. Ex if there's only 1 nurse on one day and 4 on another the 4 nurse day whoever is last to schedule should automatically come off and work the day of 1 nurse to make 2 and 3. The problem with my unit is when people either just put in there time period without reguarding others or they do not go at the right time. Ex perdiems go absolute last and suppose to fill in gaps. What happens is people forget or go after ther perdiems and then pick what they want and it's a mess. Also I'm sorry I am a .8 which is 32hrs a week. If I was 40/wk I'd be dead. I'm already dead with 32 let alone with any children. Anyway what i'm getting at is I signed up for that specific scedule. Its' still FT and benefits I suggest it to anybody it's way better. If I'm first or second to scedule I am going to scedule what i want. My coworkers want the same scedule period. Well we all take turns. I got crap b/c I'd try to take off as many mon as I could for my band rehearsal. If I went 1rst I'd get the month with no mon but when came time I was at the bottom to schedule I WAS working those mon. And I get hell from it b/c people just i don't know won't follow they systme and it's designed to take turns getting for the most part what you want. These same workers will not use vacation time. So when I go first to schedule PLUS I'm using vacation other times (I try to take 1 week off or work it so it's several days before a sceduled weekend off, every 3 months) they get annoyed. My coworker says it's like an art with me. Well it is. You have your time to use and self schedule work it out. I'm not abusing anything at all and then they get upset when I'll have 3 days off in a row. I'm point 8 it works out like that and it's not all the time. It's done in the order you are suppose to go. I tell them USE YOUR TIME OR YOU LOOSE IT! It's THERE! So then my one coworker finally uses the time and guess what she did...she took the entire month of july off....oh geeze you can't win! It's suppose to be 1 week max unless noone contests it. I was fine I had no issues. I take vacation in august.
Oh and Marie I don't know how you schedule but it sounds as if it's not done in any specif order. Mine rotates. So i'm not 3 days of all the time and My mon I'll be off for 1 month then working the next it all depends.
Specializes in ER (new), Respitory/Med Surg floor.
So true... My youngest is 8, if all goes as planned, when I have my first Christmas as an RN, she will be 11.
...Old enough to be realize mom isn't there, but old enough to realize the importance of my absence. However, that will not ever change the fact that I would rather be there.
...And yet again, I'll say my opinion about the OP's comment, I agree with her (Marie_LPN's) stronghold on her decision. People shouldn't use their children as an excuse to get what they want.
The nice thing about 3-11 is the christmas morning off! My mom worked as an NA then an LPN and well I was 11 and up when she did it but she worked it out to spend time in the morning for presents and then later when she was done for work. We were upset but it was ok b/c my family still spent time together.
I'll hear well i have kids you don't I need that day off for first day of school (when hello your 3-11 full time already you must have figured something out to continue the job)!!!
:rotfl: OK, now that is too much! Most people only walk elementary children in on the first day of school, and I've never heard of a night time elementary!
Now, if it was 3-11 AM, didn't that person know months in advance that school would start on a certain day? Schools usually plan the calendar the year before!
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grimmy, RN
349 Posts
my family no longer celebrates christmas in the modern way. we do not buy presents and such. we have everything we really need, as we've been very fortunate as a family. our main goal is to spend time together. i don't have kids, but i love my nieces and nephews like crazy. because we are geographically challenged, whether this actually happens on or about christmas is immaterial. we've had christmas in august. what matters is that we manage to get together, share a meal, go to services, go bowling, ski, relax...whatever. as a group, we've decided to forgo the hype. .where i work, we're required to work one of the 3 "holidays" and be on-call for another. if you want to trade, you put your name on a list, and the trade is fairly made by the scheduler, first come, first serve.