It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
Please don't misunderstand me. I wish my dad could have been there for Xmas and other times. I don't think that for a minute my dad didn't want to be with us either. I'm sure Xmas was a lonely and miserable time for him. The point being he was in a profession that demanded he be away, I didn't mean to imply that any of us liked it. But we adjusted and got over it.
After hearing yet another refrain of "But I have kids...you're single!," I once told someone that since I wasn't in on the decision making when she decided to have kids, it really wasn't my responsibility to make sure she had off for Christmas.
It's the attitude of entitlement, combined with the guilt-tripping that gets me. And usually, at least in my exp., the ones who whine and guilt-trip the most are the ones who are least likely to reciprocate when someone who works for then on a holiday later needs a favor. (Because they always have something they neeed to do with "the kids.")
Anymore, I take the holiday, plans/no plans, and I no longer apologie for it.
For one of my jobs, I still work in a non-nursing job and not only do we get scores of people wanting people to work late, come in early, work the holidays, rearrange their vacation days so they can have summer-time vacations ... so they can be with their children, my employer also allows parents additional time off so they can attend school plays and the like.
One year, it WAS my turn to have off. But another nurse put up an ad on the bulletin board offering $350 to anyone who would cover Christmas Eve night shift for her. That's on top of the premium OT for the shift. I took it. When I told my mother, she very promptly agreed to have my son sleep @ her house that night, and didn't give me any lip @ all about not being there.
As it was, I was present for Christmas morning, took a nap, then did Christmas dinner w/the family.
One year, it WAS my turn to have off. But another nurse put up an ad on the bulletin board offering $350 to anyone who would cover Christmas Eve night shift for her. That's on top of the premium OT for the shift. I took it. When I told my mother, she very promptly agreed to have my son sleep @ her house that night, and didn't give me any lip @ all about not being there.
As it was, I was present for Christmas morning, took a nap, then did Christmas dinner w/the family.
Wow, what an idea! I can see it causing a lot of controversy but I'd take the offer in a heartbeat since I seem to work every Christmas without complaining anyway (Our family gave up celebrating holidays on the designated days years ago.
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Fun2, BSN, RN
5,586 Posts
I completely understand. :)