Quitting nursing school? - Not really.. just a rant

[manna]

I'm just really having a rough time this semester, and needed to rant somewhere. Figured who else could understand better than other nursing students, right? :)

I've been on the verge of quitting nursing school all semester - now bear in mind it's only been about 4 weeks, but still...

I'm so stressed out I don't know what to do. I've been missing class, and today I even missed a clinical seminar - unexcused clinical absence, plus docked points for responsibility and accountability.

Some of my clinicals this semester are 12h long, in a town that's about 110 miles from where I live. Last night, I didn't get home until 10pm and still had paperwork due this morning at 8:30am (at school, 70 miles from here).

My son gets 2-3 spankings a week at school, and comes home with tons of work he hasn't completed. His teachers say he's disrupting the other students....

My three year old is clingy, whiney, and having tantrums. I don't have enough time for either of my kids, and if I do I feel like I'm neglecting my schoolwork. I can't find enough time to be a good mom and a good student.

My husband's brother OD'd and is in a drug treatment facility (thank goodness he's okay).

My grandfather passed away and I had to play the piano at his funeral, at the last minute.

My husband left his job in another part of the state to move "home." I'm really glad to have him back, but it totally disrupted my routine of being on my own last semester. Plus, now we have no income and no health insurance (but I had an abnormal pap I'm supposed to get repeated...)

My house is a huge mess and I just can't get the energy to get/keep it clean.

I hit a deer and have to repair my truck, but oops! No income, right?

I failed my first test in my cultural competency class.

For class (5d/wk) I have to commute 70 miles one way to school.

I'm worried about my great-aunt (in her 80s) who is having to keep her great-grandkids (her son is disabled) who are 6wks and 3y - she often calls my husband and I and asks for help (that's why I missed class today).

My mother has been ill, can't sleep, looks terrible, and won't go to the doctor.

I come home crying 2-3 times a week, and while I'm normally anal about school/grades, now I'm just feeling plain apathetic.

Maybe I'm worrying too much about other people, and not enough about myself? I probably sound like a big, whiney brat, but I just had to get all this out somewhere. I'm so overwhelmed. Anyone have any advice at all? I'll take whatever I can get at this point...

[TLC RN]

Manna -

I am sorry about your grandpa...

You should at least be able to get the kids on state medical care. Check if you can apply online. I had to do it for my son.

Would you ever consider going to campus housing and going home on the weekends and maybe wed night? I know your hubby will prob not like it, but it is only one more year right? Long shot, I know...I would not last w/o seeing my son...well...maybe :chuckle

Is your son bored in school? Maybe the a little ADD/ADHD? I know...so over diagnosed.

Hang in there, take it one day at a time. Your hard work will pay off.

[TLC RN]

I forgot...you gotta learn to say no. It is so hard but it helps so much. I figure all the people I say no to now are going to so many yeses after i finish school it is not funny. I only have time for myself, my son, school & work. I have to say no a lot.

I have one friend that babysits so much for me, I am scared for her to have a kid of her own. I will owe her at least 365 days of babysitting.

Once school is over, you can give more of time to everyone.

[kirbi]

Yeah, I bet you probably are a little burnt out. That alone is enough to do it, but hey think of it as the investment you've made and how it is ALMOST DONE comparatively speaking. You only have one more year to go! It's like being at mile 21 of a marathon, you know. You WILL get your second wind, have faith!

Reading your original post reminded me of the many times in my life when I have felt overwhelmed and more than a little discouraged and it seemed like everything in life was conspiring to make it all the more difficult on me. To make matters worse, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about all the negativity. Negativity does that. It picks on you when you're down.

I used to call my grandmother before she died whenever I had these kinda moments and she always cheered me up. She used to send me a little poem after we talked and no kidding, I have about 30 copies of this poem now. I'll post it at the bottem here. The most important piece of advice she ever gave me, though, was this.

REMEMBER: This, too, shall pass.

:) kirbi :)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out---The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell just how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit---It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.--Anonymous

[RedSox33RN]

(((Manna)))

I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. If at all possible, sit down w/hubby and go over your schedule and his, and come up with a plan. If he knows you're going to be home at xxx time, BUT have to study for xxx hours, then maybe he'll be able to help you out better and understand what you are doing with your time.

I know that I had to take a leave until next Januray - for the nursing classes. I hadn't finished all of my sciences, and I too have a hellish commute. I started doing Med/Surg and A&P2 this semester, commuting 5x a week for up to 3 hours per day in my car, then trying to study and take care of 4 kids (who are older than yours, mostly self-sufficient, but still need rides and have school projects and stuff) plus going through a separation - and it alllllll came to a rest on my shoulders and I just couldn't do it. I knew it the first week. So my school was great about it, and is letting me finish my other courses, and I have a spot in Jan '06. A year "behind", but a much easier schedule.

Sometimes venting will work, and other times we do need a break. Don't at ALL feel badly if you can't do it all right now. Your health is more important than finishing school right now. Your husband CAN help out. I really detest when it's called "babysitting" for the father, because it's not "babysitting" for the mom - it's called parenting. I know it's been stressful for you having him so far away for his job, and probably now waiting for this one to come through, but talk it through. That's one of the reasons my marriage went down the tubes - absolutely no communication (nope, yelling doesn't qualify in my book! LOL) on both our parts.

Lots of hugs for you. Get some rest this weekend if you can. Come up with a "plan of attack". We're thinking of you!!!!

[TexasTac]

Part of my tuition at the school I attend is for health insurance, it's mandatory that we have health insurance while we attend school. We have a clinic that we can go to for our health checkups, shots, etc... Maybe your school has something similiar?

Hang in there!

Thanks for the support, guys.

Yes, my son gets spanked at school - it's a private school, and that's part of their punishment. They get their name on the board with three check-marks first, and each check usually comes with multiple warnings to behave. I'm worried though, that he's not deliberately disobeying but is just perhaps overly forgetful. I definately need to have a conference with his teachers.

My husband has been given a job by a company, but we're waiting on the slot to open up. Thought it would have happened by now, but this is a small town and jobs are hard enough to come by as it is ... I get really frustrated with him because he will clean house, but he expects me to spend as much time as him when I'm home - it just doesn't occur to him the massive amounts of paperwork, studying that I have to make time for as well.

I don't think that I would qualify for state assisted insurance programs (since I'm not disabled, elderly, or pregnant), although my kids probably would.

It actually took me 6 years to do all my pre-reqs because I was working full-time and doing class at night and online. So this is my 7th year of college... maybe I'm just getting a little burned out.

I found campus housing today for about the same cost as I pay for gas, but I don't think it's going to be a doable move for us (husband's job is here, and lots of family members). It would really free up some time in my schedule to get rid of that commute, though.

I think I'm one of those people that has a problem saying "no." I want to help when I can, and I feel a little bit guilty if I don't say "yes" when asked to do something for someone else. I can very easily see how this is contributing to my problem, but it's just a hard mental block to get over, it seems.

Thanks so much, guys - really! You helped put it all in perspective for me. Now just hoping that what I've missed so far this semester doesn't put me too far behind...

[RNSuzq1, RN]

Manna, Good Grief Girl, I was feeling totally overwhelmed with what I have on my shoulders with school and family, etc., but seems like you have the weight of the world on you right now.

What really bothered me about your post was the fact that your child is "spanked" at school - I thought that went out years ago. This is just my opinion as a Mother - do not ever allow anyone to hit your child in any way shape or form. We have 3 Sons and I found out you can get more accomplished by talking to them than raising a hand to them. When you "hit", you are teaching them that, that is an acceptable way to deal with things (and it's not)....

Our oldest Son just turned 20 and honestly - the only time I got physical with him was when he ran into a street when he was 4 years old - my first reaction was to swat him on the butt and tell him to NEVER do that again. Our middle son tries my patience daily, I popped his behind a few times out of frustration, but that did no good. He loves computer games, so when he's done something wrong, the computer if off limits and honestly - that hurts him 1,000 times more than if we spanked his behind all day....

Please don't give others the right to take a hand to your child - they don't love him the way you do and things could get out of hand....

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Manna, you've gotten some great suggestions here ... I don't have anything else original to add, just .

But I agree that if hubby's home full-time for now ... then he needs to be taking care of the house & the kids.

Hang in there, hon. And my condolences about your grandfather.

[crb613, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the support, guys.

Yes, my son gets spanked at school - it's a private school, and that's part of their punishment. They get their name on the board with three check-marks first, and each check usually comes with multiple warnings to behave. I'm worried though, that he's not deliberately disobeying but is just perhaps overly forgetful. I definately need to have a conference with his teachers.

My husband has been given a job by a company, but we're waiting on the slot to open up. Thought it would have happened by now, but this is a small town and jobs are hard enough to come by as it is ... I get really frustrated with him because he will clean house, but he expects me to spend as much time as him when I'm home - it just doesn't occur to him the massive amounts of paperwork, studying that I have to make time for as well.

I don't think that I would qualify for state assisted insurance programs (since I'm not disabled, elderly, or pregnant), although my kids probably would.

It actually took me 6 years to do all my pre-reqs because I was working full-time and doing class at night and online. So this is my 7th year of college... maybe I'm just getting a little burned out.

I found campus housing today for about the same cost as I pay for gas, but I don't think it's going to be a doable move for us (husband's job is here, and lots of family members). It would really free up some time in my schedule to get rid of that commute, though.

I think I'm one of those people that has a problem saying "no." I want to help when I can, and I feel a little bit guilty if I don't say "yes" when asked to do something for someone else. I can very easily see how this is contributing to my problem, but it's just a hard mental block to get over, it seems.

Thanks so much, guys - really! You helped put it all in perspective for me. Now just hoping that what I've missed so far this semester doesn't put me too far behind...

Ok you have found housing that will free up some time & relieve some stress sounds like a good move to me. You are the one overwhelmed so what would be the problem for hubby to commute??? This would give you some time with your children & sounds like they need it. If your child has not had problems in the past at school........ maybe he is feeling lost in the shuffle?? I am not trying to be judgmental just to point out the obvious. I guess what I'm trying to say is it is time for the me/children first attitude & hubby I need you to help.You have accomplished so much!! I wish you continued success good luck. :)

[Fun2, BSN, RN]

Your son gets spanked at school???? i didn't know that happened anywhere anymore.... ok, off topic

They need to bring it back!!! The kids act up because they get away with it!

BACK TO TOPIC:

Sorry for all the crud your dealing with, whatever you face, DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

[SarasotaRN2b]

Manna, I think that Whitney had a good suggestion, maybe right now you should try to take a break, even if it is just for a semester. It doesn't mean you are giving up but just taking a breath.

Best of luck!

Kris

[DenaInWyo]

They need to bring it back!!! The kids act up because they get away with it!

Each to his own opinion, so please don't take this the wrong way, but..

There are other forms of punishment besides hitting that prevent kids from "getting away with" bad behavior. I can tell you right now, being an evilly creative parent, my boys would ten times rather have a spanking and get it over with than carry out things like writing 500 sentences a day for two weeks.

I can't ever remember any of the reasons for being spanked as a kid, but some of my mother's more inventive "punishment to fit the crime" interventions stick in my head to this day.

It's not a matter of hitting being more or less effective..it's a matter of kids having consequences that are followed through on consistently. The parents fail to do that are the ones who have problems, and it doesn't matter if they unbuckle their belts or sit Junior on the time out chair.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...sorry for the highjack.

Manna-

I wish I had more words of wisdom to add to all the suggestions here, but it's pretty much already all been said. So..I'll just add that I'll be thinking of you and hoping that it works out okay. Lord knows nursing school is hard enough without having the rest of the world come bouncing down on your head. Hang in there!

Deana

[michelle95]

I think Manna has the right to decide whether her kids should be spanked by someone else or not. This lady came to us for some venting not to start a debate. Please remember that.

Girl, you sound like me. Just last week, walking into clinicals...I was asking myself why the hell I am doing this. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are rough for me...lecture on tues from 8-12, then clinical from 2-8...stay up until 3 doing paperwork then it's back to lecture at 9 on wed until 12 then back to clinical from 2-8.

Add in that I work just about full time since 2 nurses have quit at my job (I'm an LPN) and...

Add in that my 5 year old son is possibly bipolar and keeps getting cysts on his neck. We go see some kind of doctor at least once a week if not twice. Now, we are looking at another surgery in March. Also, trying to get him into the school system so we go see them for various evaluations.

I don't know how I do it...I don't know why...I just know that if I am going through all of this crap that I have to keep going. Otherwise it's all for nothing.

So, keep your chin up...others ARE in the same boat. And, you know it will be all worth it in the end.

Am I crazy? No yet...but I'm getting there. I really think I might have a mental breakdown before graduation in August...but, I hope not.