Quitting nursing school? - Not really.. just a rant

sunnyjohn · Feb 18, 2005

I'm just really having a rough time this semester, and needed to rant somewhere. Figured who else could understand better than other nursing students, right? :)
I've been on the verge of quitting nursing school all semester - now bear in mind it's only been about 4 weeks, but still...
I'm so stressed out I don't know what to do. I've been missing class, and today I even missed a clinical seminar - unexcused clinical absence, plus docked points for responsibility and accountability.
Some of my clinicals this semester are 12h long, in a town that's about 110 miles from where I live. Last night, I didn't get home until 10pm and still had paperwork due this morning at 8:30am (at school, 70 miles from here).
My son gets 2-3 spankings a week at school, and comes home with tons of work he hasn't completed. His teachers say he's disrupting the other students....
My three year old is clingy, whiney, and having tantrums. I don't have enough time for either of my kids, and if I do I feel like I'm neglecting my schoolwork. I can't find enough time to be a good mom and a good student.
My husband's brother OD'd and is in a drug treatment facility (thank goodness he's okay).
My grandfather passed away and I had to play the piano at his funeral, at the last minute.
My husband left his job in another part of the state to move "home." I'm really glad to have him back, but it totally disrupted my routine of being on my own last semester. Plus, now we have no income and no health insurance (but I had an abnormal pap I'm supposed to get repeated...)
My house is a huge mess and I just can't get the energy to get/keep it clean.
I hit a deer and have to repair my truck, but oops! No income, right?
I failed my first test in my cultural competency class.
For class (5d/wk) I have to commute 70 miles one way to school.
I'm worried about my great-aunt (in her 80s) who is having to keep her great-grandkids (her son is disabled) who are 6wks and 3y - she often calls my husband and I and asks for help (that's why I missed class today).
My mother has been ill, can't sleep, looks terrible, and won't go to the doctor.
I come home crying 2-3 times a week, and while I'm normally anal about school/grades, now I'm just feeling plain apathetic.
Maybe I'm worrying too much about other people, and not enough about myself? I probably sound like a big, whiney brat, but I just had to get all this out somewhere. I'm so overwhelmed. Anyone have any advice at all? I'll take whatever I can get at this point...

Please don't quit...... You will make it ..... I don't know you, but I get so inspired when I hear of strong women finishing their education.....Your kids must be so proud of there mummy.....

I can't wait for the day that you post on this site that you have finished school and gotten your license.....

I will pray for you and your family...

Agape....

FarmgrrlRN · Feb 18, 2005

Hmmm....you sound VERY stressed right now and I can understand how overwhelming all of that is! I reread your post a few times to get all of that straight in my head!

If your hubby's not working right now, is there anything he can do to help with the problems with the kids? Even though you don't have any income right now, your full time job is school (+ overtime). You only have one more year to go, so you really need to keep your eye on the prize. These problems are temporary right now.

Are there any free or reduced-fee clinics that you can go to follow up on the abnormal pap? A health clinic at school?

Do you have any other family that can help your great aunt and your mom out? If they're giving excuses, its time to have a talk with those folks.

Your house (and how clean it is) is the least of your worries at this point, even though its really hard not to notice it...my house bugs me every day but it can wait until I finish. Its not going anywhere (or the dust bunnies).

My condolences to you on your grandfather's death. Those things are hard on their own, no less with all of these other issues on top of it all.

Believe it or not, you will get through this...take it one day at a time. (And don't forget to breathe)

twinbee25 · Feb 18, 2005

...and needed to rant somewhere.
I've been on the verge of quitting...

I can see your determination coming through...by the title of your post, "Not Really"

I'm so stressed out I don't know what to do.

Assess...isnt that what we are learning to do as nurses? We sometimes need to apply it to our own lives.

I've been missing class, and today I even missed a clinical seminar - unexcused clinical absence,

Do you have a friend/study partner to get the notes from your missed classes?

I can't find enough time to be a good mom and a good student.

I totally understand this!!! Being a single mom, I constantly struggle with the 2 priorities in my life right now...my 11yr old son, and my studies...and how to balance them.

You have a very full plate right now with all your extended family circumstances.

Truly sorry for your grandfathers passing!

Last semester, my dads sister passed away. The service was on a test day, my parents were gone 3 days and my mom is my backup sitter when my son is out of school. My son had a school holiday, I had an exam that day... dug up a dear friend I havent spoken to in a long time due to busy lives on both our parts to sit with son, and I didnt go to my aunt's service. My parents relayed as to why...Nursing School is my priority as it is my future! Parents said everyone understood.

My husband left his job in another part of the state to move "home." I'm really glad to have him back, but it totally disrupted my routine of being on my own last semester.

Having your husband move back home has to be an adjustment for you as well as the whole family. Talk with your husband about how you are feeling so overwhelmed, and together decide on solutions that will help you as well as your whole family. and if by chance he is one that doesnt communicate to well, you may need to set your foot down on how he can help you out with kids and family issues.

My house is a huge mess

This HAS to be put on the bottom of your priorities for now...every nursing student I talk to (including myself), has a house from the combined dust bunny /tornado-blew-thru zone! :chuckle

I failed my first test

...sorry to hear this...but I also made my first D this week...and I am like you...anal about my grades. We have to realize this isnt the end with one failed test, but instead realize we need to prioritize our priorities. And I'm not saying you havent, but from your post, you are asking for help with your overwhelmed feelings.

...my great-aunt ...often calls ...and asks for help (that's why I missed class today).

I agree with the other person that posted... is there other family members that could help out? Even if they have to miss a day of work to do so? If not, could your husband not help out while you go to class? Does your great-aunt have any neighbors that could help...ask around! If it was totally unavoidable for anyone else to help... that does happen, and I'm sorry you had to miss class for it.

...now I'm just feeling plain apathetic.

Take some time out for YOU!!! but prioritize it...say like if you have homework/study for upcoming exam...get the other priorities out of the way...have the "YOU time" as something to look forward to!

Maybe I'm worrying too much about other people, and not enough about myself? I probably sound like a big, whiney brat, but I just had to get all this out somewhere. I'm so overwhelmed. Anyone have any advice at all? I'll take whatever I can get at this point...

Bottom line is you have 2 priorities right now...above all else, and those 2 are your (immediate)FAMILY and your STUDIES. Your family will always be a priority, yet your studies are only a temporary priority. If you only have a year left...KEEP it a priority!!! :)

Is there someone you can talk to at school...just to "release" your overwhelmingness? an instructor? school counselor? After I failed my exam this week, I was able to talk with one of my instructors... just having someone to listen to was a help in releasing my emotions!

You are asking for advice...mine is to know what your top 2 priorites are (immediate family and school). Then alternate weeks for family time (even if watching a video together), and the other week...making time for you! I realize that is not a perfect solution, and with keeping priorities in sight... sometimes we miss the time for ourselves...but take it when you can get it!!! Ieven if its a hot bubble bath with note cards! :chuckle )

Let your extended family know what your 2 priorities are also...explain to them that your school priority is temporary, and you need their support! As it is YOUR future you are talking about, not some whim/fancy that you just like to attend school!

Best of luck to you!!! I also will be watching for your "finished school" posting!!!

HappyNurse2005, RN · Feb 18, 2005

Your son gets spanked at school???? i didn't know that happened anywhere anymore.... ok, off topic

you are graduating next year, as a BSN, so you've been at it for 2 full years now, right? You've come so far, and only have a little bit left compared to what you've already done.

Your house is dirty? so what! you'll be fine-as long as there are clean clothes and clean dishes, you're ok. next year, you can afford to hire someone to do it for you. (or tell your hubby to clean up until he gets another job!)

YOu can do it. when you are done, you'll be so glad you did it. you can do it!!!

HopefulRN2006 · Feb 18, 2005

Well, two things came to the top of my head. If your husband is unemployed, I would definately use him....oops...mabey "use" him is the wrong word...shall I say I would have him watch your kids. Look at him like a full time babysitter while you go to school. As for health care, since you have no income, you would definately qualify for state assistance, for health insurance and food/money support.

Sorry I couldn't help more...at least I tried with two of your problems! :uhoh21:

Hang in there.....things will get better.

HopefulRN2006 · Feb 18, 2005

oh yeah, I forgot, have your husband clean the house, too! :chuckle

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 18, 2005

You're not whining. Sounds like you have too much on your plate right now. Don't have much to offer and I hope things get better for you, taking one step at a time.

loriern · Feb 18, 2005

I'm just really having a rough time this semester, and needed to rant somewhere. Figured who else could understand better than other nursing students, right? :)
I've been on the verge of quitting nursing school all semester - now bear in mind it's only been about 4 weeks, but still...
I'm so stressed out I don't know what to do. I've been missing class, and today I even missed a clinical seminar - unexcused clinical absence, plus docked points for responsibility and accountability.
Some of my clinicals this semester are 12h long, in a town that's about 110 miles from where I live. Last night, I didn't get home until 10pm and still had paperwork due this morning at 8:30am (at school, 70 miles from here).
My son gets 2-3 spankings a week at school, and comes home with tons of work he hasn't completed. His teachers say he's disrupting the other students....
My three year old is clingy, whiney, and having tantrums. I don't have enough time for either of my kids, and if I do I feel like I'm neglecting my schoolwork. I can't find enough time to be a good mom and a good student.
My husband's brother OD'd and is in a drug treatment facility (thank goodness he's okay).
My grandfather passed away and I had to play the piano at his funeral, at the last minute.
My husband left his job in another part of the state to move "home." I'm really glad to have him back, but it totally disrupted my routine of being on my own last semester. Plus, now we have no income and no health insurance (but I had an abnormal pap I'm supposed to get repeated...)
My house is a huge mess and I just can't get the energy to get/keep it clean.
I hit a deer and have to repair my truck, but oops! No income, right?
I failed my first test in my cultural competency class.
For class (5d/wk) I have to commute 70 miles one way to school.
I'm worried about my great-aunt (in her 80s) who is having to keep her great-grandkids (her son is disabled) who are 6wks and 3y - she often calls my husband and I and asks for help (that's why I missed class today).
My mother has been ill, can't sleep, looks terrible, and won't go to the doctor.
I come home crying 2-3 times a week, and while I'm normally anal about school/grades, now I'm just feeling plain apathetic.
Maybe I'm worrying too much about other people, and not enough about myself? I probably sound like a big, whiney brat, but I just had to get all this out somewhere. I'm so overwhelmed. Anyone have any advice at all? I'll take whatever I can get at this point...

First OH NO NO NO none spanks my kids but me and yes I do when they need it. But ok why is he there if hubby isn't working? Hubby needs to help out step up to the bat and he and you will be glad he did you have come so far don't give up. good luck :)

manna, BSN, RN · Feb 19, 2005

Thanks for the support, guys.

Yes, my son gets spanked at school - it's a private school, and that's part of their punishment. They get their name on the board with three check-marks first, and each check usually comes with multiple warnings to behave. I'm worried though, that he's not deliberately disobeying but is just perhaps overly forgetful. I definately need to have a conference with his teachers.

My husband has been given a job by a company, but we're waiting on the slot to open up. Thought it would have happened by now, but this is a small town and jobs are hard enough to come by as it is ... I get really frustrated with him because he will clean house, but he expects me to spend as much time as him when I'm home - it just doesn't occur to him the massive amounts of paperwork, studying that I have to make time for as well.

I don't think that I would qualify for state assisted insurance programs (since I'm not disabled, elderly, or pregnant), although my kids probably would.

It actually took me 6 years to do all my pre-reqs because I was working full-time and doing class at night and online. So this is my 7th year of college... maybe I'm just getting a little burned out.

I found campus housing today for about the same cost as I pay for gas, but I don't think it's going to be a doable move for us (husband's job is here, and lots of family members). It would really free up some time in my schedule to get rid of that commute, though.

I think I'm one of those people that has a problem saying "no." I want to help when I can, and I feel a little bit guilty if I don't say "yes" when asked to do something for someone else. I can very easily see how this is contributing to my problem, but it's just a hard mental block to get over, it seems.

Thanks so much, guys - really! You helped put it all in perspective for me. Now just hoping that what I've missed so far this semester doesn't put me too far behind...

HopefulRN2006 · Feb 19, 2005

My kids go to private school too, I didn't know they could spank kids. Now you got me thinking about their school and how they discipline! YIKES!! :confused:

I am glad your husband has a lead...I really hopes he gets the job.

You have made it this far...good for you!! Keep up the GOOD work, stay strong, and look at the end of the rainbow! :)

manna, BSN, RN · Feb 19, 2005

Thanks HopefulRN...

This school makes it very clear that they use this form of punishment, and I think we even had to sign a permission form at the beginning of the year allowing them to do so. Although, I didn't suspect that he'd be getting into trouble like this nearly as often as he has.... I would imagine that your kids' school would have told you at orientation what sort of discipline procedures they follow. :)