The other day another day another nurse was assisting me placing a foley on a pathetically annoying and needy patient. Yes, she was really sick, but according to the sweet church ladies who accompanied her, it's from total self neglect, stubbornness, drinking large quantities of vodka and orange juice and eating an unhealthy diet.
The woman was focused on getting her next pain pill, that was her first demand on arrival. She told me to call her PCP, that she'd get it for her.
So I'm putting in the foley, and the other nurse says "Poor thing!".
Basically, when another nurse says that about a patient I want to punch them. It sounds like you're talking about a dog that got hit by a car. And, I'd really like to work with people who aren't trying to win 'Most caring and non-judgmental nurse of the year' award.
Don't get me wrong, I have great bedside manner and a lot of patience when it comes to irritating, demanding patients. But I am a realist, not a Pollyanna. The goodie two shoes of the world annoy me.
Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
21 hours ago, Davey Do said:
Instead of a sympathy card, please allow me to make you a realist card, Emergent.
The card could say something like, "You got yourself into this situation and I'm going to provide quality care because it's my job, so shut up."
This LITERALLY JUST happened to me. My invisible realist card is accompanied by a tight smile and therapeutic silence. I finally figured out how to control my rebel eyebrows.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I can still feel compassion for someone who has caused his own problems, but that starts to evaporate with the rapid-fire requests and demands.
Don't get me started on the More-Compassionate-Than-Thou coworkers. If you work with them for any length of time, you will see that in reality they don't give a rip about anyone. Just trying to score compassion points at someone else's expense.
Not saying OP is majoring on the minors -- I've read enough of her posts to know she posts stuff like this, for conversations sake, I think -- so here's my .02. on the matter.
Very true. My posts are observational musings as related to nursing.
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I enjoy your musings too, Emergent. They make me think. Here's my .02: Not trying to get worked up, just donating my $0.02 to the cause. ?
Hey, maybe she's just a new nurse trying to fit it and be compassionate? Maybe she's 99% genuine, and really is seeing that patient through rose-colored glasses? Maybe is all gung-ho about her new job, and trying to be empathetic?
I guess regardless of the motivations, I have found that demonstrating sympathy to a patient helps us work together better. They'll often be a little more compliant, a little less likely to complain, and some of their psychosomatic symptoms begin to resolve when they feel like they've "been heard." So regardless of my feelings, it does seem to make my job easier when I demonstrate compassion.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
On 4/5/2019 at 6:20 AM, thoughtful21 said:
I guess regardless of the motivations, I have found that demonstrating sympathy to a patient helps us work together better. They'll often be a little more compliant, a little less likely to complain, and some of their psychosomatic symptoms begin to resolve when they feel like they've "been heard." So regardless of my feelings, it does seem to make my job easier when I demonstrate compassion.
Or they take you for a sucker and start raising the ante. And start pitting you against your coworkers. Get luck ever leaving their room to look after your other patients without raising their ire.
You can still demonstrate compassion while you're setting limits. Sometimes they'll appreciate the compassion. Sometimes they'll balk at the limits. Oh, well.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
On 4/5/2019 at 9:20 AM, thoughtful21 said:
I enjoy your musings too, Emergent. They make me think. Here's my .02: Not trying to get worked up, just donating my $0.02 to the cause. ?
Hey, maybe she's just a new nurse trying to fit it and be compassionate? Maybe she's 99% genuine, and really is seeing that patient through rose-colored glasses? Maybe is all gung-ho about her new job, and trying to be empathetic?
I guess regardless of the motivations, I have found that demonstrating sympathy to a patient helps us work together better. They'll often be a little more compliant, a little less likely to complain, and some of their psychosomatic symptoms begin to resolve when they feel like they've "been heard." So regardless of my feelings, it does seem to make my job easier when I demonstrate compassion.
I agree with you on compassion.
I don't think "poor thing" counts as compassion. It's pity or it's sarcasm. Never good for anyone.
I work in OR. Back when I first started I was like “oh great, no one can see me smirk” when I am trying like hell to keep my ?. Unfortunately I did not realize just how expressive one’s eyes can be. Now? I just speak. I’ve been in the OR so long, I no longer know how to behave in public.
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OldDude
1 Article; 4,787 Posts
Haha..."poor thing"...there, everything is better now.
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