The other day another day another nurse was assisting me placing a foley on a pathetically annoying and needy patient. Yes, she was really sick, but according to the sweet church ladies who accompanied her, it's from total self neglect, stubbornness, drinking large quantities of vodka and orange juice and eating an unhealthy diet.
The woman was focused on getting her next pain pill, that was her first demand on arrival. She told me to call her PCP, that she'd get it for her.
So I'm putting in the foley, and the other nurse says "Poor thing!".
Basically, when another nurse says that about a patient I want to punch them. It sounds like you're talking about a dog that got hit by a car. And, I'd really like to work with people who aren't trying to win 'Most caring and non-judgmental nurse of the year' award.
Don't get me wrong, I have great bedside manner and a lot of patience when it comes to irritating, demanding patients. But I am a realist, not a Pollyanna. The goodie two shoes of the world annoy me.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 4/5/2019 at 8:20 AM, thoughtful21 said:
Hey, maybe she's just a new nurse trying to fit it and be compassionate? Maybe she's 99% genuine, and really is seeing that patient through rose-colored glasses? Maybe is all gung-ho about her new job, and trying to be empathetic?
.
Yeah!
Sort of like when I do something like an injection or a finger stick on a real PITA patient. I try to be compassionate and say things like, "This going to hurt you more than it does me", or "I'm sorry this is going to hurt a bit. I'm even more sorry that I'm really going to enjoy it".
But please. Don't nominate me for the Mother Teresa Award for Compassion just yet.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 4/4/2019 at 1:30 PM, TriciaJ said:
Don't get me started on the More-Compassionate-Than-Thou coworkers. If you work with them for any length of time, you will see that in reality they don't give a rip about anyone. Just trying to score compassion points at someone else's expense.
I see someone has gotten their RDA of Piss & Vinegar!
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 4/5/2019 at 8:20 AM, thoughtful21 said:
I guess regardless of the motivations, I have found that demonstrating sympathy to a patient helps us work together better. They'll often be a little more compliant, a little less likely to complain, and some of their psychosomatic symptoms begin to resolve when they feel like they've "been heard." So regardless of my feelings, it does seem to make my job easier when I demonstrate compassion.
I truly appreciate your post, thoughtful. Really. Give 'em what they want and they won't be so needy.
I've tried tis tact and it works, for example, just this weekend. I set some boundaries with this obnoxious patient, she called me an a-hole, and my work wife Eleanor gave her some great advice: "Just ignore him".
I say great advice because the patient believed I was being punished because she avoided me and I didn't have to deal with her behaviors.
Then, when the patient was experiencing some physical discomfort, I did my job by intervening and showed her that I was going to look after her. Her whole demeanor toward me changed.
Sometimes I feign compassion and say things like, "Poor thing. Poor, poor thing!" which is from a line in the movie Harvey. The whole line goes, "I would tell her things. Things that I've never told to anyone. Things that are locked deep in here. And as I talk to her, I would want her to hold out a soft white hand and say, "Poor thing. Poor, poor thing."
Yeah. Compassion. You can use it to manipulate others.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I care for chronically ill people who are over-ridden with "poor me", "do it for me" type attitudes. I never feed this. I tell them "I am sorry for your situation, but this is how to make it better" and walk away. I don't lie; don't pretend sympathy. I do have empathy----to a degree. But if after all my best efforts caring for them, and educating them to the best of my ability,-----they get mad, pissy or defensive--- sometimes I walk away. One patient asked" HEY don't you CARE"??? I said, "yes I do....as much as you do." Left it at that.
Left him to figure out what it meant. He was/is one of the most irresponsible and annoying patients I have ever cared for. I am never mean, but I save the "education" and "empathy" for those willing to receive it and actually DO something NOT to interfere with my caring for them and their own wellbeing.
Hang in there. The boomers/Gen X'rs are aging. I imagine things won't get easier. The few WWII folks left, man, I have a lot of respect. Most of mine are very responsible, unlikely to be rife with self-pity and have been through the roughest of times. I admire them for the most part.
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
Yeah!
Sort of like when I do something like an injection or a finger stick on a real PITA patient. I try to be compassionate and say things like, "This going to hurt you more than it does me", or "I'm sorry this is going to hurt a bit. I'm even more sorry that I'm really going to enjoy it".
But please. Don't nominate me for the Mother Teresa Award for Compassion just yet.