Please help :(

[%D#2]

I had my older brothers memorial today. He died last Sunday. My co worker last week had been gossiping about me and now is sick and wants me to cover her shift (right now) and I told her I'll get back to her if I think I can come in but right now I can't. I didn't take any grievance days even though I could have. I wanna be the bigger person and go in but my emotional stability is off today. She was gossiping about me cause I missed two weeks of work in December (mandatory LOA due to contagious virus). And my coworkers had to cover my shifts. I then returned to work and got assaulted by a patient with dementia (broke my finger and sprained my wrist) but did not miss any work thereafter. When she found out about my hand she said (in front of all staff) that if I call out not one will cover and everyone's fed up with me. Yet I wasn't planning on calling out anyway. I worked with the injury and didn't complain at all. Then my coworkers told me what she said, and that in top of losing my brothers just made me so mad. Is it wrong that I just don't effing wanna cover for her? its just been a bad month and I need today to not be any more stressful than it is. Thanks guys for reading

[%D#2]

I will Libby, but I wanna give the other nurses time to figure out coverage. I'm sure they would but I guess for my own sake im trying to be more considerate with call outs ever since I got shingles and was out 2 weeks

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

You just had memorial service for your brother today and this person called you about working for her tonight?

What an insensitive creep. You dont need this.

Block her number.

Additionally, texting you her vital signs? Seriously? Her blood pressure is not your issue.

Not to mention I would be fresh enough to text "sounds like you are about to have a stoke. Go to the ER!!!! NOW!!!! And no, I can't cover for you" Then block her number.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Karou]

I am so sorry for your loss.

It's your employers responsibility to ensure enough staff coverage, even unexpected staffing issues. Perhaps have a contract with an agency for these exact situations. This isn't your responsibility or your coworkers. Illness (especially contagious), injury, and the death of a family member/loved one are absolutely valid reasons to miss work. I am sorry that your coworker feels bitter about this. She should be more upset with your employer. She has no right to be upset with you.

I would never cover for her again. What a spiteful, hateful woman.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

Take the leave now and let them figure it out. Just call and tell them you changed your mind and you realized you need it NOW to grieve your loss! The manager can cover if needed. It is really not your problem to figure out coverage......the place will survive. Please do this for your mental and physical health because if you don't know will do it for you! You have a caregivers heart and so do I and that is why I recognize it. Caregivers must take care of themselves too so they can keep on doing what they love but in order to do that you must take what you need now! All the caregivers here are now taking care of you and telling you it is OK!

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

So sorry for your loss. I see this was written yesterday so I hope you stood your ground and said no if you didn't feel like going in. Everybody grieves differently. If you need time take it, if you feel better going about your usual routine and working then do that. Do whatever you need to do for you.

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

"I'm sorry, I can't." No further explanation needed. Even if someone ISN'T gossiping about you, you are under no obligation to cover their shifts. I have never expected someone to cover for me. Sometimes I will make a switch with someone if it works better for both of us, but it took me several months to develop trust in others. You learn quickly who will burn you. And you need time to rest and recharge. We are programmed to feel guilty about it, but don't.

[ponymom]

Too bad, so sad... Hope you didn't feel pressured to go in and cover for the pig. Besides, you don't even know if those vitals were legitimate.

[Serhilda, ADN, RN]

As everyone else has said, I'd also not cover for her. She sounds like a nasty person who'd never return the favor for you. I'd simply say nope and be on my way, no apology necessary.

[ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN]

You are not responsible for staffing this department. Going above and beyond like this will backfire because people will call out just because Lupie never says no.

[elijahvegas, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

first and foremost sorry for your loss, and i hope your grieving process leads you back to a stable frame of mind as early as possible for you to feel like yourself again.

as far as this coworker, i'd confront her outright so she knows where you stand. And if youre not comfortable with being so direct, then hint at it overtly so she knows exactly what youre trying to say. Mention you've been hearing that people are being told not to cover shifts for you if you need them covered so you have no intention of covering anyone else's. Except for the coworkers that i actually care for, i'd still cover for them, but generally never hers. She'll get the idea sooner than later and won't bother asking. If she cant see how mean-spirited her words and actions are towards you now given your legitimate circumstances, her behavior isn't likely to ever change, at which case you have nothing at all to lose really by drawing a line in the sand with her.

my 2 pence :)

[canigraduate]

Sounds like you have a pattern of not standing up for yourself. It is NOT your fault you got sick. It is NOT your fault that you need to take time for yourself because you are grieving. Don't take on the problems of others as your own.

It is OK to ignore that manipulative witch. If she continues to harass you, block her number and don't have any contact with her outside of the workplace. What she is doing is NOT acceptable and you DO NOT have to put up with it.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope the memories of your brother can help comfort you in your time of grief.

[Nurse Leigh]

I guess for my own sake im trying to be more considerate with call outs ever since I got shingles and was out 2 weeks

Just wanted to add that while my coworkers and I were almost always short staffed and a call in really made things even more difficult, I think any of us would have rather been at work super short staffed than sick at home with the shingles! We would have all been busy but really feeling bad for *you*!

I'm sorry you've had a run of bad events lately. I hope you are taking some time for yourself.